Anger Management.

[Omerta+ 1,206]

Ok so some of you know that I have been going to anger management therapy. Was never really a fan of the idea and after completing the course I can still say I think it is a bunch of bullshit. No offense to anyone who has ever done it and thought it helped, if it helped you that is great.

 

I came to the conclusion at the end of the class and the documentation for it all and such, that I am just a normal dude. People get pissed all the time right ? I mean honestly go through your day and think of how many times someone else has pissed you off. Now that is probably a lot of you and I will admit that I am not the best at handling it. It generally leads to cussing or in some cases a fight. That being said I dont go looking for them and it does not happen often. I have been in two in the last year so it really is no different then the rest of the people I know. In fact I am a model of self control.

 

That being said I wanted to know how many times TGP gets pissed on the daily. Anything from road rage or an interruption of your routine. I mean there is a collection of smart people here who I am sure are flustered by idiocy like the rest of the free world.

 

The second part to the question is it really possible to control your anger or is the best we can hope for to control our reactions to it. I think the latter I am pretty good, the former I am not so great at. In reality though who is ? I think on average people are just naturally angry people. They go through shit on the daily that make them irritated, I think it should change the name from Anger Management to Day-to-Day life therapy.

[RazorStar 4,025]

I channel my anger through biting sarcasm. Sure I may be pissed, but I just feel better when I insult people without them realizing it.

[Vin+ 3,121]

I ain't even mad.

[Guest Phailadelphia]

I struggled with this growing up. I learned to put my ego aside and look at a particular situation in the grand scheme of things. The best question I ask myself when I get angry is "Who the fuck cares? Does this even matter?" The answer is usually no, so I tell myself to just get over it and move on. It's done wonders for my attitude on life in general, not just when I'm angry.

[blotsfan 2,112]

Ngata, if you're so against it, why did you do anger management classes? I feel like you don't start taking that unless something major happened.

[BwareDWare94 723]

I had a horrible temper as a kid, and I kind of agree with Ngata about classes. A classroom isn't about to give you the necessary tool that is will power. When you decide you're not going to be angry anymore, you'll take the necessary steps to make that happen.

 

I haven't been in a fight in years. I've broken up plenty. I've taken physical control of several people who've either attacked me or my friends. Pin them down, tell them it only gets worse, and most of the time people will just concede to you. If you're capable of that, try it the next time someone attacks you.

 

I don't think it's normal to get into fights, for most people. You're right around most of our ages, right? Early to late 20s? There's a lot more pride in controlling anger than there is in losing control and becoming victorious physically, or in an agitated argument. Those moments of pride wear off really fast. Feeling like you'd made progress as an individual has lasting impact.

[BigBen07 285]

I ain't even mad.

Took the words right out of my mouth.

[SteVo+ 3,702]

Anger is a powerful emotion that can be incredibly easy to feed in the moment, but will only lead to greater problems in the long term. Overcoming this is much easier said than done, but I've found a good first step is to simply have the humility to apologize when you know you were out of line, even if the circumstances called for some anger.

[Omerta+ 1,206]

Ngata, if you're so against it, why did you do anger management classes? I feel like you don't start taking that unless something major happened.

 

Ok since it is related. It started when I was in the military and I had to get it because of how I dealt with situations after I got back from my first deployment. NO, it was not Iraq in a sense. It was more so the fact that I realized that people could die from others fucking around being a douche and just made me more apt to snap about grab assing.

 

What really made me go was when I scared my son (who is 4) was playing. He was being a kid and messing around on the field doing whatever the hell was going through his mind. His coach grabbed him by the facemask and started shaking it. I jumped over the bleachers walked down to the coach and head butted him in the nose and starting punching him in the face while he was down until other parents and YMCA staff pulled me off.

 

Part of the deal was my lawyer (who is really good) got me a plea that required restitution, community service, and anger management classes. That is why I was there.

[Omerta+ 1,206]

I had a horrible temper as a kid, and I kind of agree with Ngata about classes. A classroom isn't about to give you the necessary tool that is will power. When you decide you're not going to be angry anymore, you'll take the necessary steps to make that happen.

 

I haven't been in a fight in years. I've broken up plenty. I've taken physical control of several people who've either attacked me or my friends. Pin them down, tell them it only gets worse, and most of the time people will just concede to you. If you're capable of that, try it the next time someone attacks you.

 

I don't think it's normal to get into fights, for most people. You're right around most of our ages, right? Early to late 20s? There's a lot more pride in controlling anger than there is in losing control and becoming victorious physically, or in an agitated argument. Those moments of pride wear off really fast. Feeling like you'd made progress as an individual has lasting impact.

 

Yes.

[BwareDWare94 723]

Why was a coach shaking a 4 year old's face mask? You did what anyone would do, my friend. The guy got canned, right?

[Bucman 891]

I get pissed off a lot. Usually its road rage because I have no patience for bad drivers. Those people that turn in front of me, I've tried to ram them before and whiffed. One day I will connect though.

[Guest Phailadelphia]

Why was a coach shaking a 4 year old's face mask? You did what anyone would do, my friend. The guy got canned, right?

I'm going to have to strongly disagree with you on your presumption that beating the shit out of another adult in front of children is "what anyone would do" in that situation. What the coach did was wrong and Ngata has every right to be furious, I get that, but (IMO) that's not what anyone would do nor what they should do.

[Omerta+ 1,206]

 

Why was a coach shaking a 4 year old's face mask? You did what anyone would do, my friend. The guy got canned, right?

I'm going to have to strongly disagree with you on your presumption that beating the shit out of another adult in front of children is "what anyone would do" in that situation. What the coach did was wrong and Ngata has every right to be furious, I get that, but (IMO) that's not what anyone would do nor what they should do.

 

 

Ok so then what would most people do ? Legit question.

[RazorStar 4,025]

Scream into his ear so loud he busts an eardrum. The only thing I wouldn't do that Ngata did (mostly because i'm a wuss) is headbutt the guy. I figure verbal abuse would have probably been enough to make to stop.

[Guest Phailadelphia]

I don't know, because I don't think there's a black & white answer to that kind of hypothetical. But I'd imagine anything that doesn't involve physical abuse/violence would suffice.

 

My biggest issue is doing it in front of kids. If it were just the 2 of you in an isolated situation? Yeah, I'd knock his ass out too.

[BwareDWare94 723]

I get pissed off a lot. Usually its road rage because I have no patience for bad drivers. Those people that turn in front of me, I've tried to ram them before and whiffed. One day I will connect though.

 

Bucman's going to kill a blind 97 year old woman at some point lol

[BwareDWare94 723]

 

Why was a coach shaking a 4 year old's face mask? You did what anyone would do, my friend. The guy got canned, right?

I'm going to have to strongly disagree with you on your presumption that beating the shit out of another adult in front of children is "what anyone would do" in that situation. What the coach did was wrong and Ngata has every right to be furious, I get that, but (IMO) that's not what anyone would do nor what they should do.

 

 

As I say this, remember that I haven't been in a fight in years, but if a grown man shakes my 4 year old's head I'm going to take that grown man and introduce him to the ground. You don't do that to teenagers, let alone toddlers.

[DonovanMcnabb for H.O.F 2,241]

I almost never get mad, or frustrated over a lot of things that normal people would. Which is kinda the reason why some people think they can walk all over me without me getting offended or pissed. If I do I just tend not to show it.

 

Which probably explains the reason why I throw giant tantrums when I'm playing video games. Methinks that's my way of coping with all the stored frustrations, angers, etc. I tend to recommend it to people as well.

[RANGA+ 1,210]

I almost never get mad, or frustrated over a lot of things that normal people would. Which is kinda the reason why some people think they can walk all over me without me getting offended or pissed. If I do I just tend not to show it.

 

Which probably explains the reason why I throw giant tantrums when I'm playing video games. Methinks that's my way of coping with all the stored frustrations, angers, etc. I tend to recommend it to people as well.

 

Whenever I get mad, I just masturbate furiously, and the world is good again.

[Maverick 791]

I almost never get mad, or frustrated over a lot of things that normal people would. Which is kinda the reason why some people think they can walk all over me without me getting offended or pissed. If I do I just tend not to show it.

 

Which probably explains the reason why I throw giant tantrums when I'm playing video games. Methinks that's my way of coping with all the stored frustrations, angers, etc. I tend to recommend it to people as well.

pretty much this lol.

[Thanatos 2,847]

I'm with Dmac pretty much. I dont rage all that much at video games either.

 

I just generally take the long view on things- is this really something important enough to warrant my rage?

 

As to Ngata's situation, I don't think going after the coach like that is something most people would do, nor was it the correct call. I can perfectly understand being upset, but what I would do if I really thought the coach's actions were over the line would be to get my kid and leave and remove him from the team. Then at home, contact the league and tell them what the coach was doing that made me pick up and leave.

[seanbrock 1,684]

I think Ngata did what any of us would WANT to do, but you could have gotten the guy fired and not have had any charges. Honestly I think society has been really pussified. Sometimes imo people need to get their ass beat. Somebody who shakes a 4 year old's face mask like that probably abuses their wife and their own children as well if they have any. The fact is that if you go around beating people up, you're going to end up in jail or in the poor house or both. When it comes down to it, it just isn't worth it. The only advice I would have for you is that you should try to have a better attitude about the class because the way things are going your anger problem could really fuck up your life. I had to take an anger management class before too. It was gay and I'm not sure if it helped me, but idk how similar our situations are. I think I had pent up anger due to the fact that my dad is a crack head and use to beat my mom in front of me and my brothers. I think you should put some thought into where your anger stems from. Try to get what you can from the class. I mean, it's not like it's going to be forever.

 

I really like what Phail said. It's pretty much exactly the conclusion I came to. Most shit really doesn't matter much.

[blotsfan 2,112]

I feel like Ngata's situation was the wrong course of action. The smart thing to do would to be to break it up and yell at the coach. The coach was clearly a piece of shit, but by attacking him you focused the attention away from the coach and onto yourself. I don't know what happened to the coach, but it wouldn't surprise me if he didn't get in as much trouble because Ngata attacked him.

[Zack_of_Steel+ 3,014]

Rage is not rational. It's not as easy as just going, "welp, I shouldn't be angry right now. I'm going to be happy instead :D :D ".

Edited October 15, 2013 by Zack_of_Steel