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SteVo

Knights of Andreas 2.04: O Captain, My Captain

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First! :smug:

 

That was an awesome chapter! :clap: Really enjoyed the character building through this one, I think Penner may be my favorite character... well my second favorite :whistle: . He's clearly become the team's rock, and seeing him push Maverick to the next level was pretty cool.

 

With the offense clicking and dat nasty pass rush complimenting our shutdown corner, we goin 16-0 :rockon:

Edited by theMileHighGuy
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A lot of Jonathan Maverick in this chapter so I loved it from a personal standpoint!

 

What kind of team doesn't vote for their QB as the offensive captain? You're all a bunch of fools on this team! Glad to see Penner had my back, though. :yep: Oh and I kindly ask for my character to stop throwing balls to Wilkes, please. :yep:

 

Solid outing from both the offense and defense against the Steelers. Maverick making shit happen to close out the game!

 

And as per usual, very well written, Steven. You're developing my character exactly how I imagined it. Loved the part about bailing for South Beach lmao. I probably got hot bitches clubbing while the rest of the team were watching Hoosiers. :smug:

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I geek out about this on a weekly basis

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Great chapter as always. Really happy to see the development of Briggs continue. Loved the interactions with Ripka.

 

Briggs able to put in extra work with coach? :smug:

 

Anyways, 3-0 motherfuckers. :rock:

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The Knights of Andreas truly have arrived. WHERE'S ADAM JAVAD. :smug:

 

Great to see the team chemistry really starting to develop. You know things are going well when Jay Cooper is cheering.

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3-0, well shit son. This just keeps getting better and better for us.

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Wonderful, wonderful chapter, Stevo, seriously. The "Fuck it" line was my favorite part. Penner and Mav really ingratiated themselves with the reader this chapter. Excited to see if Mav can avoid faltering.

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Wilkes adjusts and spins

:cigar:

 

Great stuff, SteVo.

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I love the way these characters are developing along with this team, and I like that you're breaking away from the way the Raiders seasons actually went.

 

Some ideas:

 

I wonder if you could venture into young players struggling with money, at some point?

 

I'd like to see you split up some of the dialogue. Some of the longer run ons could be emphasized with pauses of some sort.

 

Great work, per usual.

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