SteVo+ 3,702 Posted June 7, 2015 (edited) Knights of Andreas Part III Based on Characters Created by: badgers Bangy Barracuda Bay BigBen07 BwareDware94 Chernobyl426 DonovanMcnabb for H.O.F eightnine FartWaffles Favre4Ever JetsFan4Life Maverick monstersofthemidway OAK RazorStar RevisFan81 Sarge seanbrock SteVo Thanatos19 theMileHighGuy Vin Zack_of_Steel Chapter Thirty-Two – Parent Functions Coming off a much-needed victory, the Knights endure a frantic week of preparation on defense. Their opponent this Sunday is the Eagles, who, under first-year head coach Chip Kelly, have made a name for themselves with their high-paced, no-huddle offense. They may be 3-4, but Harden knows his defense faces a unique task this week, regardless of record. “I hope you all got plenty of rest yesterday,” Harden says as players take the field Tuesday morning, “because you’re gonna need every bit of it.” Harden watches, iced coffee in hand, as his defense sprints through drills. Thankfully, he doesn’t need to yell at them to maintain pace; Grantzinger does that for him. Grantzinger barks at players nonstop, berating them for any fault or slacking. A favorite line of his becomes, “Shady McCoy would be twenty yards upfield by now. Hurry the fuck up!” Harden loves that the young assistant captain is comfortable in his role, and also loves that he’s leaving less for Harden to scream about. He hopes the intensity carries over into Sunday. The defense’s primary captain, however, doesn’t appreciate Grantzinger’s gestures. Randall does his best to focus on his play, vowing to spend even more time in the film room this week. Fans at Farmers Field watch a football game that’s exciting for all the wrong reasons. The Eagles run their no-huddle offense at breakneck pace with incredible effectiveness. Though the Knights hold their own initially, jumping out to a 10-0 lead in the game, the Eagles eventually turn momentum on their side, frequently catching the Knights out of position on defense. Nick Foles puts on a clinic, and the Eagles lead 21-13 at halftime. After a vicious locker room rant by Coach Harden, the Knights show no improvement in the third quarter, falling behind 28-16. It seems the Eagles are ready to take over as the quarter ends, but Maverick connects with Alex Johnson, who beats Bradley Fletcher in coverage, for a seventy-yard touchdown, and it’s 28-23. From one of the luxury suites on the stadium’s east side, Jay Cooper sips a rum and coke as fans celebrate around him. Sporting purple sunglasses, a fake beard, and going by the name Quentin McDole, he blends in well enough, even if the deception is a little off-putting. In the fourth quarter, the Eagles pull away. LeSean McCoy forces missed tackles all over the place, and Foles hits his receivers on intermediate routes, constantly moving the chains. The Knights simply cannot keep pace with their opponent and are forced to watch Foles throw three touchdown passes in the fourth quarter, six total on the day, and the Eagles win, 49-30. Like his fellow Knights fans, Cooper leaves the stadium quietly, with his team 3-5 at the season’s halfway mark, left to wonder if it’s all over. Malik pulls his Challenger into the spiral driveway, revs it a few more times, and turns the key. The engine comes to a quiet halt as Malik walks up the stairs to the front door. His legs feel a little heavier than usual, courtesy of the work needed to shut down DeSean Jackson all day. He opens the door, unveiling the sprawling, open mansion that, for the moment, is quiet. Before he can enjoy the serenity, Eva appears from a nearby room, Jasmin in her arms, and a loud wail coming from the same room. “Hey, baby,” Malik says, pretending he doesn’t see the agitated look on her face. “Here, take her,” Eva says, handing four-year-old Jasmin to her father. “Tatiyana’s been crying for hours. I fed her, but she hasn’t stopped.” “Baby, I gotta take a shower—” “Malik, can you just take care of your daughter for a few minutes? I’ll see if I can get Tatiyana to sleep.” Malik watches his wife disappear into another room, leaving him and Jasmin, who looks as tired as he is. “Your sister’s having a bad day, huh?” Jasmin nods her head up and down. Malik looks around the mansion. “Daddy?” “Yes?” “Did you win?” “No, sweety, we lost.” “Aww. Were you good?” “Yes, baby. Daddy was great.” “That’s good.” She rests her head against Malik’s chest and closes her eyes. Tuesday morning, the Knights begin practicing for the Giants, the first game in a stretch of three road trips in four weeks. Though the exhausting loss against Philadelphia puts them at 3-5, the Chargers fell to 6-2 Sunday, losing to the Redskins. With the Chiefs at 9-0 and the Broncos 8-0, the Knights will have to catch San Diego to make the playoffs. As much as Harden wants to punish his players for their failure against the Eagles’ no-huddle offense, it would be a waste of practice time with the Giants coming up. New York does not run the no-huddle, their offensive line is garbage, and Eli Manning is in the middle of an uninspiring season. Harden likes his chances. Positional drills give way to scrimmages between purple and white jerseys (plus Maverick in red). Harden focuses on the interior of his defense, four players in particular fighting for two starting spots. At defensive tackle, he makes sure Damian Jones and Wesley Mann split reps evenly, the first time he’s done so all season. He still believes Jones will develop into a beast of a nose tackle, but his progression has been slow, and it’s only fair to give Mann more opportunities. Whether this translates into playing time on Sunday is yet to be determined. At inside linebacker, Dan Connor’s hip injury from Sunday is still healing, so Marlon Martin takes most of the practice reps, which is fine with Harden. Martin’s performance Sunday was absolutely dominant, making plays from sideline to sideline without missing a single tackle, the kind of game the league’s best linebackers wish they could have every Sunday. Next to Martin, Briggs Randall calls the plays and runs the defense like usual, though Harden can’t wrap his head around the fact that he’s being outplayed by the linebacker next to him. He has a few theories, but without anything concrete, he has other things to worry about. Whatever’s going on with Randall, it can wait. One day of practice down, the Knights shower and change in the locker room, leaving the MedComm Center one by one. Some stick around longer than others, including a few offensive linemen. Brian Penner and Chase Grodd grab clothes from adjacent lockers and dress while conversating. Grodd asks questions about plays from Sunday and practice, and Penner is happy to answer them. Eventually, Grodd runs out of questions and says, “Alright, I’m out for the day. See you tomorrow.” “Good work today,” Penner says as the two bump each other’s fists. “Back to it tomorrow.” About to head out himself, Penner finishes dressing and heads for the exit. “Yo, Brian, hold up.” Penner halts and sees Rose, usually one of the first out the door, waving him towards his locker. Penner approaches with a curious look on his face. “What?” Penner says. “You got a minute?” Rose asks, sounding more distressed than Malik Rose ever has, which is to say he sounds distressed at all. “Maybe.” “Wanted to talk to you, if it’s cool.” “About what?” “You got kids at home, right?” “Yep, two boys.” “Right. I got two girls, and—it’s tough, them and football—I mean, football’s not tough. Never. But kids, man…” “Alright, kid, alright. Look, why don’t we grab a beer? I’ll buy.” “Can’t. I got baby duty.” “You and me both, brother.” Penner looks around. “Let’s go outside, at least. I’ve had enough smelly jock straps for one day.” The two exit the building and talk as other Knights walk out past them. One of these is Maverick, curious to see Penner and Rose chatting—curious to see Rose at all, actually. This gives him a chance to compare Rose’s Challenger with his Audi, two of the nicer cars in the team’s parking lot. His Audi is definitely better. Speeding home in the superior automobile, Maverick gets to his front door before he realizes he’s forgotten to check his phone. He does so and sees a missed call and voicemail from—his heart skips a beat. Leaning against the front door, he taps hurriedly to hear the message. “Hi Jonathan, it’s Brandi. I, um…well, I’m going to be in L.A. this weekend and…I think maybe we should get together and talk about some things. Just call me. We can set something up.” Maverick hangs up the phone, heart racing. Oblivious to the world around him, he races through pictures in his head as if he’s going from one wide receiver to the next, running from one potential scenario to another, all with happy endings. His eyes finally fall on the dirty clothes, liquor bottles, and pizza boxes that litter his mansion, equally excited and disappointed he may finally have to clean it. A 3-5 record isn’t enough to dampen the mood amongst teammates throughout the week. Spearheaded by Brock, plans for a Friday night outing are put in motion, attracting many takers. Some question why Brock is suddenly so eager for a get-together, to which Grantzinger suggests, “He needs a morale boost after getting skull-fucked by Jason Peters last Sunday.” By Friday afternoon, players have put together another fantastic week of practice and are eager for the club outing, the trip to New York, or both. Brock circulates the locker room for one final round of invitations, with the usual suspects signing up and declining. “Sorry, Sean,” Logan Bishop says when asked, “I can’t make it.” “What? That’s weak, man. You said you were down. Ah, whatever.” Bishop wants to do anything that will maintain good relations with his teammates, but he has bigger priorities right now with how quickly things are progressing with his girlfriend. Before everyone departs for the day, Harden has business to settle. He orders a staffer to summon teammates to his office one by one. First on the list is Marlon Martin. As soon as he hears “Coach needs to see you,” he knows. He heads for the office and knocks on the open door. “Yeah, coach?” “Have a seat, Martin.” He does. “As you probably noticed in practice today, Dan’s hip has healed just fine. He’s basically a go for Sunday.” “I understand.” “Having said that, you will be the starter and I expect you to be on the field just as much as Briggs.” “I see.” Martin tries to mask his excitement. Should he say thank you? “You’re playing great, Marlon. Whatever you’re doing, keep it up.” “Yes, sir.” “Get outta here. See you tomorrow.” “Thanks, coach.” Martin paces out of the office with a jolt in his step. A career of special teams and rotational play, but he’s finally a starting linebacker. Finally. He brushes shoulders with Damian “Anthrax” Jones, next on Harden’s list. Like Martin, Jones knows what this is about, but he’s far less optimistic. “Take a seat, Damian. I’ll get right to it. We’re gonna be giving Wesley some looks this Sunday.” Jones sinks into his chair silently, able to manage only a nod of understanding. “To be honest,” Harden says, “you held your own against Kelce last week, which was impressive. But I gotta see what Wesley can do. You want your job back full-time, earn it. Understood?” “Yes, sir.” “Let me ask you something, Damian. Not sure why I never asked before. Why did they call you Anthrax in college?” “Music. I listen to music a lot.” “Those damn headphones of yours, I never noticed.” Jones looks confused, thrown off by the usually straightforward Harden’s sarcasm. “Hell,” Harden says, “there’s nothing else. Get out of here, Anthrax.” Jones walks out of the office, giving Mann a dirty look as he heads for Harden’s office next. This has been building for awhile now, so he’s not surprised, but he’s not worried either. He’ll make his snaps count, let his play do the talking, and take the job back eventually. Brock strolls into his favorite nightclub, leading a colorful cast of teammates that includes Maverick, Wilkes, Grodd, Grantzinger, and Flash Johnson. They are escorted into their own VIP lounge and recline on comfortable leather furniture. “This is just the beginning, fellas,” Brock says. “Can’t wait to see some of the scene in New York.” Grodd: “Not sure coach will go for that. Not past curfew, anyway.” Brock: “Man, you guys need to ease up sometimes. We’re gonna take care of business on Sunday, it doesn’t matter what time we’re in bed. Yo, D-Jam!” Wilkes looks up, putting something back in his pocket. Brock: “Dude, you’ve been checking that phone all fucking week. What’s up?” Wilkes: “Don’t worry about it.” Flash: “Where those drinks at?” Brock: “At least Flash is asking the right questions. Drinks and women, fellas. Oh, speaking of—” Flash: “I already heard this story.” Brock: “Then you’re gonna hear it again. A few weeks ago, I hooked up with this lawyer. Man, they must keep them caged up whatever they do, because she was an animal. Let’s see what the scene looks like tonight…” Everyone looks toward the main area, filled with classy looking women who frequently throw gazes at the VIP lounge. The women may not know every Knight by name, but they know they’re football players, and that’s enough. Grantzinger: “How about that one? Leaning on the railing, next to that really tall brunette.” Brock: “Um, Zack, that’s a guy. Not that we’re prejudiced or anything, but is there something you have to tell us?” Grantzinger: “That’s the point, dumbass. Anyone recognize him?” Everyone locates the man, quickly connecting him with someone they’ve seen, murmuring in agreement. Brock: “Yeah, yeah, he’s been here a few times. Last time I saw him I think Malik was here.” Grodd: “It’s that reporter guy.” Grantzinger: “Javad is his name. Adam Javad.” Maverick: “From that web site or whatever? He’s not bad.” Brock: “Man, I didn’t want to leave so early.” Grantzinger: “Relax, you pussy. We’re not going anywhere. Chase, D-Jam, Flash, come with me. We’ll find out what’s up with Adam—and our drinks.” Maverick: “Why am I stuck here with Brock?” Grantzinger: “Stop throwing interceptions, bitch.” From about twenty feet away, Javad spots four Knights rise from the VIP lounge. He recognizes them immediately, of course, but is startled when they head straight for him. “Evening, guys,” Javad says, eager to keep the mood positive. “Trying to get the inside scoop on our drinking habits?” Grantzinger says. “That’s not how I get my information. I’m off the clock.” “So,” Grodd says, “you just happen to be at the same club as the players you cover?” “That’s right. I’m a young guy, same as you. I work hard during the day and like to party on the weekends, same as you.” All four men glare at Javad, obviously intimidating. He spots a bouncer in the background take notice. “Listen, let me buy you guys a drink,” he says. “We’ve got drinks,” Flash says. “No we don’t,” Wilkes says. “That’s right,” Grantzinger says. “Flash, go find out what the hell happened to our drinks, man.” “So he does go by Flash,” Javad observes. As Flash walks away, the three remaining Knights give a skeptical, angry glare at Javad. “Off the clock, huh?” Grodd says. “No. I didn’t mean—” “Here’s the problem,” Grantzinger says. “You’re just here, partying, having a good time, whatever. But let’s say something happens. Then we go live to Adam Javad, who had a firsthand account of the incident.” Javad wants to state his case, but he knows it won’t do any good. “Finish your drink. Then get lost.” Meanwhile, Brock and Maverick have already received their drinks, both putting a good dent into them. Brock keeps his eye on the Javad situation since Maverick doesn’t seem one for conversation tonight. “And you too!” Brock says, glancing at Maverick. “What is it with everybody and their fucking phones?” “Brandi called me this week,” Maverick says. “Whoa, she what?” “She made it seem like we could get back together, but, I’m not sure.” “What the hell does that mean?” “Well, she said we could get together today, but then she canceled. So maybe next week.” “No way, man.” Brock waves his warms horizontally. “Abort mission, dude.” “Listen, you don’t—” “She’s not the one, man.” “Oh, and you’re a fucking love doctor?” Brock pauses and takes a drink, not used to Maverick getting angry—not in this setting, anyway. “Look, Mav, you’re right. I’m not the guy to talk to about getting married and all that bullshit. But the way I see it, when that woman comes around, you’ll know. All this shit with Brandi moving out? Now maybe moving back? Trying to set something up and then backing out? She’s playing games with you, man. She’s not the one.” Maverick nods, though Brock knows he’s not really agreeing with him. “I’m not saying you get laid tonight, but you gotta try to put her behind you. Just keep your distance for awhile, and if she’s meant to come back, she’ll come back. In the meantime, look around. We’re NFL players in our mid-twenties. How long is this gonna last?” Somehow, Maverick finds wisdom in Brock’s words and takes a few more sips. “Where the hell is everyone else? Fuck it, let’s have a good time, man.” “Hell yeah! Cheers to that.” They clink glasses, take a few swigs, and look up to figure out what happened with their teammates. The team lands in New York after a five-and-a-half-hour flight, their longest of the year, and check into a nearby hotel. Saturday night proves uneventful, with no players reported as out past curfew. Players wake up room by room Sunday morning, preparing for a bus ride to the Meadowlands. Bishop and Jefferspin-Wilkes, one pair of roommates, end up awake before most and get an early start on packing. Bishop talks about his girlfriend, making Wilkes the first teammate to hear such details. He’s not sure Wilkes is listening, but he carries on anyway. They hear a knock on the door. Both check the time on their phones. “It’s too early,” Bishop says. “I’ll see who it is.” Wilkes looks through the peephole, then opens the door. Bishop sees a man wearing hotel employee clothing, eavesdropping while packing. “There’s a man downstairs here to see you, sir.” “Who is he?” The employee’s response is muffled. Bishop looks up. “I’ll be right back, Logan.” “D-Jam, we’ll be late!” “Five minutes.” Wilkes paces down the hallway, past the elevator lobby, and into the stairwell. He sprints down the stairs a few floors, passing civilians and disregarding stray comments from those who recognize him. A security guard on the first floor spots him and guides him toward the loading area where Knights will soon board a bus for MetLife Stadium, the site of this year’s Super Bowl. He walks outside and struts past another security guard, stopping as he spots a face he hasn’t seen in years, one he was hoping not to see. “Hello, Da’Jamiroquai.” “Uncle Lincoln.” The two approach each other as the guard stays by the door. “I’m sorry to do this on game day,” Lincoln says, “but you didn’t leave me much choice, did you?” “I don’t have much time.” “Yeah, somehow you can’t find time for the man who got you through college.” “Football got me through college.” “And where exactly would you have played after you got dismissed from USC?” Da’Jamiroquai steps toward his uncle, close enough to reach out and grab him. “You came all the way to New York to tell me this?” “I was in town anyway. Had a conference yesterday. With you avoiding my phone calls, it seemed convenient.” “You would know.” “I just want to know why you’ve shut me out, son.” “I’m not your son!” Da’Jamiroquai steps back a little. His screams cause a few more security guards to appear, maintaining their distance for the moment. “You think I’m stupid, but I’m not that stupid. I know why you took me in, Uncle Linc.” “Calm down, son.” “I am not your fuckin’ son!” “You’re right, you’re right.” Lincoln holds his hands up. “You’re right, I’m sorry. You’re not my son. And I am not your father. I’m not your parents. I won’t abandon you like they did. I’m here for you, Da’Jamiroquai.” “Man, fuck you, Uncle Linc. Stop fuckin’ calling me.” Wilkes turns around and marches past the crowd of security guards, not noticing that Bishop stands among them. An uninspiring matchup begins between the 3-5 Knights and 2-6 Giants. Both teams are falling below expectations to this point, and with another loss today, the season will finally be declared over for one of them. The Knights carry out their game plan on offense, maintaining balance with what Maverick considers boring and uninventive play-calling. Most plays are either between-the-tackle runs or quick passes. Thanks to a no-show from the Giants offense, the Knights tilt the field position battle in their favor and reach the red zone towards the end of the first quarter. After a Jaxson run gets only two yards, the Knights face third and eight from the twelve. Coach Everett finally calls a play Maverick likes: an end zone fade to Wilkes. Maverick lines up under center, studies the defense, and takes the snap. He pumps over the middle for good measure, then lofts a pass to the corner of the end zone. Wilkes beats his man, goes up for it, and drops it. Giants fans cheer in relief for what should have been a touchdown. As the field goal unit comes onto the field, Maverick gets some water and finds Wilkes on the bench. “C’mon, D-Jam, that’s all you.” Surprisingly, Wilkes says nothing, just sitting there and staring toward the field. Maverick found it strange enough that he wasn’t bitching about getting so few targets, and now this. Janikowski partially salvages the situation with the field goal. 3-0, Knights. Into the second quarter, the Knights defense continues its dominance. Between Brock and Grantzinger, Eli Manning falls under duress every time he takes a deep drop, and the run defense is just as impressive. In the secondary, Rose shuts down a combination of Hakeem Nicks and Victor Cruz, the receivers alternating sides of the field and Coach Harden not preferring Rose to cover one over the other. Though he hasn’t found any solution to his loud and hectic life at home, everything is silenced on the field. In coverage, he hears only cleats chewing up grass and shoulder pads shifting. Side to side, undercutting routes, sprinting over the top, Rose blankets his assigned receiver every single play, and Manning never throws in his direction. Still down 3-0, the Giants cross midfield for the first time with 6:30 to go in the second quarter, facing third and one from the Knights’ forty-five. Harden keeps his 3-4 personnel in the game, anticipating a run. Manning fakes a run up the middle and looks to the flat. Randall comes free on a blitz, dives, but misses as Manning sweeps left. He lobs it to Peyton Hillis, who catches it, turns upfield, and gets crushed by Grantzinger. The hit sends the nearby Knights sideline into a frenzy of celebration, as Hillis also went down a yard shy of a first down. Grantzinger receives lavish praise on the sidelines from players and coaches, Harden included. As the Giants punt, Grantzinger grabs some water and looks for a spot on the bench. One by one, other defensive starters do the same, high-fiving Grantzinger on their way. Even Brock manages to say, “Nice tackle, asshole.” He gets to Randall, extends his arm, and Randall ignores it, sitting down on the bench instead. Grantzinger takes it in stride, sipping some water and picking a spot a fair distance from Randall. What the hell’s his problem? Jealous he’s being outplayed, perhaps, but he’s supposed to be the captain. Third and seven, Knights ball on the Giants’ forty, 11:37 to go in the third quarter. Despite winning 10-3, Maverick is frustrated at the offense’s lack of productivity. With Wilkes dropping passes left and right and the running game gaining yards without home runs, the offense is leaving a lot of points on the field. And against a better team, that would be a huge problem. In the huddle, he hears Everett’s play call: shallow crossing routes. A five-yard play on third and seven? That makes no sense, so Maverick calls something more aggressive: deep post-corner routes, designed to hit Bishop over the middle. Bishop loves that call, feeling he’s been doing too much blocking today, especially with Wilkes struggling, though he won’t say anything about it. From the sideline, Everett notices the players aren’t in the correct formation. He alerts Harden, but before they can call timeout, Maverick takes the snap. Dropping back behind a clean pocket, Maverick looks deep. He steps up to avoid the reach of Justin Tuck and fires over the middle where Bishop breaks open. He catches the bullet pass, comes down, absorbs a big hit from the safety, and dives forward for another few yards. Knights ball on the seven. Perplexed about how to respond, Everett simply calls another play, a Jaxson run up the middle. In the huddle, Maverick goes along with it this time, more than happy to see first and goal. Under center, Maverick spots the Giants creeping up, stacking the box. With Jameson, that might work, but not with Jaxson. The stadium is still silent from the big play, so Maverick calls an audible. Players remain in formation except Bishop, who jogs outside to line up in the slot. Maverick takes the snap and looks to the end zone. His receivers break into tight windows, and he doesn’t force it. Still with lots of time, he steps up, getting ready to run. At the last second, he looks to the flat, where Jaxson is wide open. He fires. Jaxson catches it and bolts for the corner. With a safety closing in, he leaps, getting the ball over the pylon for the touchdown. 17-3, Knights. Maverick returns to the sideline in celebration mode, not expecting Everett to say anything. He doesn’t. The fourth quarter ticks away with many Giants fans heading for the exits, the home team trailing, 24-6. The Knights defense sits comfortably on the sideline with their offense on the field. On the bench, Grantzinger and Randall end up next to each other, a few feet between them. Grantzinger expects Randall to say something, but he doesn’t, not even bothering to look at him. Whatever’s up, he decides it’s best not to try to solve it today. Meanwhile, Coach Everett watches in frustration as his offense moves the chains. Though all seems well on the surface—who can argue with 24 points?—his play calls occasionally fail to reach the huddle. He’s checked with the tech guys; there’s no communication problem with Maverick’s helmet. His quarterback is simply calling different plays. Coach Harden’s headset is wired into the same frequency. Hasn’t he noticed? Maverick finds Johnson on a crossing route for another first down. Wanting to milk the clock and preserve a win, Everett calls a sweep for Jaxson, and the offense lines up accordingly. Everett shoots a glance at Harden, who watches the field. Maverick’s screams divert his attention, and Everett crosses his arms as his quarterback calls another audible. Edited June 11, 2015 by SteVo 10 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sarge+ 3,436 Posted June 7, 2015 The following people... pls: - Adam Javad - Coach Everette - Briggs Randall - Uncle Lincoln All of you, pls. Another great chapter. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GA_Eagle 595 Posted June 7, 2015 Everett can suck it. Mav calls better plays. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vin+ 3,121 Posted June 7, 2015 Marriage forthcoming? Good stuff. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BwareDWare94 723 Posted June 7, 2015 Great as usual, and I love when quarterbacks just stop listening to overly-conservative OCs. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BigBen07 285 Posted June 7, 2015 Maverick taking charge! Another excellent chapter, Stevo. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cherry 1,302 Posted June 8, 2015 The following people... pls: - Adam Javad - Coach Everette - Briggs Randall - Uncle Lincoln All of you, pls. See me in the film room Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cherry 1,302 Posted June 8, 2015 Also, parent functions. K Stevo. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RazorStar 4,025 Posted June 8, 2015 Briggs sucks, its all about Fishman now. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cherry 1,302 Posted June 8, 2015 Briggs sucks, its all about Fishman now. Go shut down Jamaal Charles next time pls. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack_of_Steel+ 3,014 Posted June 8, 2015 (edited) Great chapter, Stevo. Love the way Grantzinger and Maverick are taking charge. "Stop throwing interceptions, bitch" Edited June 8, 2015 by Zack_of_Steel 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Maverick 791 Posted June 9, 2015 Okay, this is my new favorite chapter (obviously since it had a lot of me). I loved the character development in this one. Roles are starting to be defined. Shit will potentially hit the fan next week with Everett...very curious to hear Harden's take on the whole playcalling issue. I think I remember telling you back when you were asking for our character's bios that he drove an Audi R8. Nice to see you remember that and incorporate it. I admire small details like that. Maverick: “Why am I stuck here with Brock?” Grantzinger: “Stop throwing interceptions, bitch.” I got a kick out of that, too. Zack left me with Sean who proceeded to give advice on relationships. >_> 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bangy 19 Posted June 9, 2015 Yea this is my favourite chapter so far, the back and forth between some of the guys is great (Mav and Zack). Seeing Sean give the relationship advice is also funny. I like that you've incorporated members characters in to the guys as well, Zack's doucheness is oozing everywhere and the player development is coming along nicely. Only concern is that you seem to be focusing a lot on set players (Zack, Sean, Bishop, Mav, Penner, Rose) and as of yet haven't really started to develop other players like Luck for example. I know with such a big cast it's hard but be nice to see more players being developed. I say that a little in Jaxson's case but not as much as overs as Jaxson has had a showing so far. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cherry 1,302 Posted June 10, 2015 Only concern is that you seem to be focusing a lot on set players (Zack, Sean, Bishop, Mav, Penner, Rose) and as of yet haven't really started to develop other players like Luck for example. I know with such a big cast it's hard but be nice to see more players being developed. I say that a little in Jaxson's case but not as much as overs as Jaxson has had a showing so far. Bangy pls. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Maverick 791 Posted June 10, 2015 Yea this is my favourite chapter so far, the back and forth between some of the guys is great (Mav and Zack). Seeing Sean give the relationship advice is also funny. I like that you've incorporated members characters in to the guys as well, Zack's doucheness is oozing everywhere and the player development is coming along nicely. Only concern is that you seem to be focusing a lot on set players (Zack, Sean, Bishop, Mav, Penner, Rose) and as of yet haven't really started to develop other players like Luck for example. I know with such a big cast it's hard but be nice to see more players being developed. I say that a little in Jaxson's case but not as much as overs as Jaxson has had a showing so far. Generally I find you have three types of characters in literature: Primary, Secondary, and Role. It's just not ideal to go into detail on every character in a story otherwise you're taking the focus away from the plot. Besides, Jaxson sucks dick. You didn't give Steven much to work with. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SteVo+ 3,702 Posted June 10, 2015 You've got a point, Bangy, and I'm well aware that some characters are getting more development than others. Like Maverick said, some characters are important, and some are simply background characters. Having said that, I do have plans for certain characters who we haven't heard from, so you'll just have to wait and see. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack_of_Steel+ 3,014 Posted June 10, 2015 Yea this is my favourite chapter so far, the back and forth between some of the guys is great (Mav and Zack). Seeing Sean give the relationship advice is also funny. I like that you've incorporated members characters in to the guys as well, Zack's doucheness is oozing everywhere and the player development is coming along nicely. Only concern is that you seem to be focusing a lot on set players (Zack, Sean, Bishop, Mav, Penner, Rose) and as of yet haven't really started to develop other players like Luck for example. I know with such a big cast it's hard but be nice to see more players being developed. I say that a little in Jaxson's case but not as much as overs as Jaxson has had a showing so far. Your character's only as interesting as you are, loser. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bangy 19 Posted June 10, 2015 Cool story Zack I don't have a problem with anything that Stevo has done and in regards to what Mav said I understand there are certain roles filled by how many characters there are. It would be nice to just see the smaller characters filled out a little. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sarge+ 3,436 Posted June 10, 2015 Patience, Bangy. I can't speak for SteVo 100% with what I'm about to say, but I think he's planning on writing a lot of this. In time we'll know everything we need to know about every character. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SteVo+ 3,702 Posted June 10, 2015 I don't have plans to wrap up KoA anytime soon, I can tell you that. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cherry 1,302 Posted June 11, 2015 Hey Stevo, I was re-reading the chapter. What the fuck is going on when Malik gets home? Name change mistakes? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SteVo+ 3,702 Posted June 11, 2015 Ya, looks like I got Eva and Jasmin mixed up a few times. To clarify: Malik's wife is Eva, his older daughter is Jasmin, the younger daughter is Tatyiana. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
seanbrock 1,684 Posted June 13, 2015 Loved the interaction between the teammates in this game on and off the field. You did a pretty good job of bringing out the personalities of the TGP members in this one. Good stuff. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites