Are There Fates Worse Than Death To You ?

[Omerta+ 1,206]

This is a question that me and my wife have been discussing for the better part of 2 days now, and she is mystified by my position. First, I have to set the stage. As most of you know I have broken my neck at my C2 vertebrae which is the second one down fro the base of the skull. I have been waiting for it to heal and I go in next week to find out if surgery is going to be my best option. My doctor talked to me and y wife and went over the complications and they are pretty routine for surgery with the caveat of I could be a quadriplegic and not be able to breathe on my own if things go bad.

 

This scared the shit out of her but kind of relieved me, and she was amazed that is what I felt. I explained to her that if that the worst were to happen (which in my mind is quadriplegic easily) that I would choose to go off the ventilator and die. She thought I was crazy but said nothing until we amended my will to reflect that I will not live on a ventilator. She asked me,"Could you really look at us and our kids and the rest of your family and choose to die?"

 

To me the answer is a definite yes. I do not fear death, at all. That said, being in a position where I would be a burden by having to be re-positioned ever two hours, my vent tube cleaned every day and so on, I would rather be dead. I would rather my son not have to take care of his old man, and have a chance at having a step father who can go on camping trips and teach him things, or play ball, or what have you. I would rather have my wife not be married to a guy who sounds like R2D2 and could take her on vacations and enjoy life like we do know going scuba diving, paddle boarding, skydiving and so on, not someone who is just rolling around in the sand pretending to be alive.

 

 

So the question on the table is that if faced with the decision to choose to die, or to "live" in an extremely compromised state, what would you choose ? Are there outcomes worse than death to you ? I watched the Gleason documentary and I would not live that life, I would have prayed for a bullet long ago, and the ventilator would not happen. What would you do ?

[blotsfan 2,112]

Honesty I've thought about that exact same situation. I see people paralyzed from the waste down and while that looks awful, you can still live a somewhat normal and an independent life. Paralyzed from the neck down, though? Sounds like hell. I don't have a wife or kids so I wouldn't have that worry, but i honestly don't think I would want to live under those circumstances. Steve Gleason seems like he's found happiness in his situation and good for him, but I don't think I could.

[RazorStar 4,025]

Human beings are surprisingly resilient, I'm sure I could live through losing a limb, maybe losing all of them, full body paralysis maybe, but if I lost my ability to be conscious, if I was basically a vegetable on a ventilator, surviving hooked up to a machine, I'd choose death. There is no sense in living a life where you have no life.

[OSUViking 505]

Definitely not being conscious sounds awful. I don't necessarily consider rape worse than death, but it's certainly not better. I'd say both are pretty bad; no point in comparing them.

[Cherry 1,302]

Dementia. I could handle being in full body paralysis, as long as I was able to be mentally active. The odds of getting proper care wouldn't be great, but if I could have someone just helping me to take in knowledge I'd be fine.

 

But if I had my memory start to go and began to struggle with my mental reasoning? I'd rather be dead. I don't want to live a life of just being a shell. Memory loss scares the piss out of me.

[Omerta+ 1,206]

Dementia. I could handle being in full body paralysis, as long as I was able to be mentally active. The odds of getting proper care wouldn't be great, but if I could have someone just helping me to take in knowledge I'd be fine.

 

But if I had my memory start to go and began to struggle with my mental reasoning? I'd rather be dead. I don't want to live a life of just being a shell. Memory loss scares the piss out of me.

 

That is the worst part to me. If I was mentally alert like I am now I could not live with not being active. As horrible as dementia is in advanced stages they are so oblivious they dont really have a sense of who they are most of the time, making life easier in the sense that you do not remember what you were capable of, at least from what I have seen in dementia patients.

 

For me the terrifying part is being a quadriplegic and taking in a sunset and not being able to walk with my kids and wife. Or reading about the next great destination and not being able to dive it. Or sitting on a lake shore watching my wife, kids, and friends tubing, skiing, or what have you. Watching life as a spectator remembering what I could have done had I not been in this chair.

 

I love learning as much as the next, but what is the point of it all if you never get to go see it ? At least this is my opinion. Although dementia is fucking terrifying.

Edited May 18, 2017 by Omerta

[Favre4Ever+ 4,476]

I am absolutely petrified of death. It's hard to explain, but my worst nightmare is a recurring one.. It's literally me overlooking my own headstone / grave and time is fast forwarding like crazy... days turn into weeks turn into months turn into years and there's just silence. It's getting better as I get older, but still something that scares me.

With that said..

If I was in a coma / a vegetable. Don't keep me around. That isn't living.

 

I don't want to be dependent on anyone completely. So being a quadriplegic would be tough. I would probably want to die, but actually being conscious, I would be scared shit less and probably decide not to actually die.. I over think everything...

 

Even having advanced Alzheimers with full body control scares the shit out of me. I don't want to get up and look at my (future) children or wife and not remember them. Obviously I wouldn't know, so personally maybe no harm no foul.. but, that seems like torture for your loved ones. I watched the Glenn Campbell documentary on Netflix, and listening to his daughter talk to Congress about her dad not knowing who she was... Makes me blubber like a little pussy.

 

As Blots mentioned.. being paralyzed or whatever from the waist down would SUCK.. but I think I could make due.

[Omerta+ 1,206]

I am absolutely petrified of death.

 

Why? I have never really been afraid of death except as a kid maybe. This is not to say fear of death is not valid, or uncommon. Almost 70% of the population fear death, which is a staggering number. Not poking fun or anything, but why do you fear death ? Is it a pain thing, or the fact that you will not be here ? If it is the latter why does that bother you?

[ATL_Predator+ 1,196]

Being a Muslim woman... or a citizen of North Korea

[Bucman 891]

I would never want to be paralyzed. Would rather be dead. I can't imagine being able to do something on your own one day and the next someone has to take care of you everyday.

 

Or being blind. That shit would suck.

[Favre4Ever+ 4,476]

 

Why? I have never really been afraid of death except as a kid maybe. This is not to say fear of death is not valid, or uncommon. Almost 70% of the population fear death, which is a staggering number. Not poking fun or anything, but why do you fear death ? Is it a pain thing, or the fact that you will not be here ? If it is the latter why does that bother you?

 

Fear of the unknown probably... Hard to pinpoint the exact reason.

[Vin+ 3,121]

I guess I'm pretty much the same as everyone else in this regard. I've seen enough sad stuff where I work that makes me think if I was ever a burden on my family or society that I just need to be let go.

 

Though I guess the question is if there is an afterlife if a terrible existence on this plane is better than something akin to hell on the next.

[Cherry 1,302]

 

That is the worst part to me. If I was mentally alert like I am now I could not live with not being active. As horrible as dementia is in advanced stages they are so oblivious they dont really have a sense of who they are most of the time, making life easier in the sense that you do not remember what you were capable of, at least from what I have seen in dementia patients.

 

For me the terrifying part is being a quadriplegic and taking in a sunset and not being able to walk with my kids and wife. Or reading about the next great destination and not being able to dive it. Or sitting on a lake shore watching my wife, kids, and friends tubing, skiing, or what have you. Watching life as a spectator remembering what I could have done had I not been in this chair.

 

I love learning as much as the next, but what is the point of it all if you never get to go see it ? At least this is my opinion. Although dementia is fucking terrifying.

I think it's just the differences in how we function as people. I enjoy physical activity, but not to the extent that you do. I'd only want to die if I were such a nuisance to my loved ones that they struggled to carry out their daily lives. Otherwise I'd be content to lay there and just soak in everything.

[Favre4Ever+ 4,476]

Yeah I think this is part of it too... Not knowing for sure if there is something after. I like to believe there is, I want to believe there is. But... the idea of nothingness l, an empty void... that is scary

[SteVo+ 3,702]

Yeah I think this is part of it too... Not knowing for sure if there is something after. I like to believe there is, I want to believe there is. But... the idea of nothingness l, an empty void... that is scary

 

 

I feel this way too.

[RazorStar 4,025]

Even if there is nothing after death, it entails the cessation of consciousness, you wouldn't be able to grasp the sheer emptiness of all. There is a great fear that there is nothing after death, but I am far more scared that there is something, and it is far beyond our mortal ken.

[Warhorse 132]

There were sci fi movies back in the day....where one person was the last human alive on Earth. That would be worse than death....to never hear another voice, or have a conversation. To literally be completely alone in regards to humans.

 

[Cherry 1,302]

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”

 

That's the big thing I always go to when I'm feeling uneasy about the thought of death. The lack of consciousness is awful, but it'd be the equivalent of sleeping.

[Favre4Ever+ 4,476]

Even if there is nothing after death, it entails the cessation of consciousness, you wouldn't be able to grasp the sheer emptiness of all. There is a great fear that there is nothing after death, but I am far more scared that there is something, and it is far beyond our mortal ken.

 

True.. But I am very alive and very much conscious enough to think about it right now. Lol!

[blotsfan 2,112]

There were sci fi movies back in the day....where one person was the last human alive on Earth. That would be worse than death....to never hear another voice, or have a conversation. To literally be completely alone in regards to humans.

 

Eh. I don't need glasses.

[Omerta+ 1,206]

There were sci fi movies back in the day....where one person was the last human alive on Earth. That would be worse than death....to never hear another voice, or have a conversation. To literally be completely alone in regards to humans.

 

 

I am not sure how terrible that would be. I live in Washington which by your pictures I assume you are close too. Once I got past my wife and children not being here or at least could function without them I would live the same life regardless. If something were to happen to them I would not leave except for work and to buy booze anyway even with people on the planet.

 

I might as well never have to wait in line for liquor stores, or the butcher. Just take the cow in there butcher it myself and I am set for a while. The spend the rest of the time at reflection lake on mt rainier or all the rivers and falls adn just wait to die. 7 years ago before my son I would prefer that anyway, the world with no people would be such a much more beautiful place.

Edited May 20, 2017 by Omerta

[Thanatos 2,847]

You are one macabre individual Ngata.

[BwareDWare94 723]

I'd rather die than be a vegetable. I'd rather die than lose my mobility. I'd rather die than spend my life with a horrid mental illness that would never allow me to be happy. Etc.

 

Death would be a blessing in comparison to the worst evils of this world.

[Turry 755]

If I had lost numerous fingers on a hand or a hand and could not play music anymore. I'd probably rather die tbh