CampinWithaMissingPerson

welp

1. Blake Bortles Blake Bortles Blake Bortles Blake Bortles He has the biggest penis of all the QBs in the league and where fellow 2014 classmate Derek Carr is your typical good moraled church going beta husband, Big Dick Bachelor Blake is obviously an alpha and his beast WRs led by the GOAT Allen Robinson will help hold his penis as he penetrates your favorite team's defense. 2. Tawm Braydy He won't play the first four games, so that drops him below Bortles. He's used to attempt to lure top NBA free agents, in the Illuminati and is married to a supermodel and is well versed in destroying evidence that can be held against him which is a great life skill. He will let the hate flow through him strong this year and dangle his balls on Goodell's face in a back room after Darth Belicheat uses the dark side of the force to manipulate a meeting. 3. Aaron Rodgers He's an asshole, a jokester, is smashing Olivia Munn, not talking to his family and has his butt buddy Jordy back so with their two penis' combined they come close to Bortles and will likely penetrate most of your favorite team's defenses. 4. Big Ben Routinely got drunk and smashed groupies as a young player, always a good sign. He's only fourth on the list because he became boring and got married and had two kids with a basic Physician's Assistant to repair his image even though it needed no repairing because bad boy bros > married boring bros (see Blake Bortles.) Still he's fun to watch, probably cheats on his wife and has pretty cool friends with weird haircuts like Antonio Brown. If he got divorced and still slayed pussy he might rise on the list, it's not too late, Ben. 5. Joe Flacco Joe Cool calling one of his bitches Controversial pick here, but even though he looks like Bert from Sesame Street and is married to his basic HS sweetheart he played against the Browns instead of being there for the birth of his 2nd child which shows his commitment to things that really matter like the game of football. It wouldn't shock me if he cheats on her with groupies like his buddy Ben either. This makes him elite. 6-10: Debatable/Irrelevant Drecamrusselphilelitony Breenewwilsorivemanomo comes in at number 6-10. *BONUS* 32. Andrea Luck Unlike most starting quarterbacks in the NFL; Andrew Luck has been exposed for actually having a vagina as seen at his book reading club (which Based Big Dick Bortles has mocked by creating his own Wikipedia Reading Club) He breathes through his mouth exclusively and proudly sports a neckbeard which we all know he got via shaving off his vagina pubes and having Jim Irsay pay to have surgically glued to his neck. He faked an injury last year due to being terrible and instead of facing the music like a man he listened to his hoo-hoo dilly and went home to eat strawberry ice cream and watch the Twilight trilogy. The only times he plays good is because other teams wives guilt them into "accepting" him and giving him "positive reinforcement." Worst QB in the league. Oh and if you think I doctored that portion of that pic, I didn't. The only doctored part is the LOL and arrow. Not kidding.

I've stated multiple times this offseason that the Jags are going 16-0. Can't wait. I win.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cg4ztG3FO8Y

@ Blake Bortles and Allen Robinson continue to dip their nuts all across defenses' faces this preseason. Hurnsy got in on the fun this week and that TD pass by Blake off his back foot after faking the left side of the defense out over Brent Grimes was a beauty: http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-game-highlights/0ap3000000688369/Blake-Bortles-drops-pass-into-Allen-Hurns-for-24-yard-TD The biggest surprise for me is how well the running game looks. Yeldon and Ivory consistently rip off an average of 6 yards each it seems so far. Maybe it comes with the newfound respect of the Jags passing attack? Not sure, but the run blocking has been great so far too even in the first game with half the starting OL out. Ivory we all know is a load to tackle, and Yeldon usually makes his first man miss so when these guys get good blocking they can rip off these consistent runs. Malik Jackson continues to blow up the middle of offensive lines and disrupt QB's, he caused Jameis' off target pass on the first play of the game. Looks like a great signing and any concern some had about him going from a 3-4 DE to a 4-3 DT seem moot after seeing him consistently penetrate the past two weeks and all of camp. Jalen Ramsey had about as good of a debut as you can. Gave up no catches and had 3 tackles, the first of which where he just blew up a stretch run play for a 6 yard loss that set the tone. He played both nickel and boundary CB and showed he belongs at both just like in college where FSU just put him where they needed a playmaker. He shutout Mike Evans anytime he was paired on him and let him know about it too During his post-game interview the reporter asked him about defending Mike Evans and he almost seemed insulted and instead just said he has to defend A-Rob and Hurns in practice everyday so they get him ready for anyone. Then goes on to say he wants to be the greatest, period. Then kept ending every sentence saying, "Period." The Bully is Here.

Dominant performance. Vintage Poch Spurs. Was in the Mad Box pissed on how in the hell Spurs didn't have a goal yet but Wanyama came through in the end off the header by Kane. Eriksen sucked dick again, wonder if the contract dispute is causing him to be a bitch on the pitch. Soon as Dele came in for him he created way more chances in just 20 minutes. Eriksen blew a 4-5 on 1 counter but derping it. I would of rang his neck if I was a teammate Janssen very impressive starting debut but he duffed a great chance created by Dele but other than that he looked better than Kane out there.

I'm half joking, two good preseason performances doesn't mean you're the best QB in the class and the three first round guys obviously have a lot more added pressure and anxiety on them but think we can all agree that... Christian Hackenberg sucks.

When you realize you drafted Jared Goff, Carson Wentz, Paxton Lynch, Christian Hackenberg, Jacoby Brissett, Cody Kessler, and Connor Cook before Rayne Dekota Prescott:

Just looking at the stat sheet it looks like Derek Carr threw the ball horizontally his entire time playing

https://twitter.com/DylanByers/status/766021779361968128

I watched it live, wigged out on Mane's goal. Big Mane fan.

https://twitter.com/ColeFartley/status/765534837419696128

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dnhszniNUk

Badass

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K44j-sb1SRY

Last year opening day Spurs lost 0-1 to ManU on a deserved draw or win, today, 1-1. Everton's goal on a set piece was pretty fluky, and 2nd half Spurs dominated as soon as new signing Janssen was inserted. Poch might be best to play Janssen up front with Kane in the classic #10 role that his number dictates. They dominated after the change. Can't really complain, first game of the year type shit and Everton looks much improved with their new manager.

Agreed

Here's every throw: http://www.nfl.com/videos/philadelphia-eagles/0ap3000000684064/Every-throw-from-Carson-Wentz-s-NFL-debut Only thing close to impressive in there is his mobility and threading the needle a couple times on slants, other than that accuracy all over the place, lots of balls behind guys that had to adjust when they did catch it, and the pick is self explanatory. He did thread it a couple times over the middle and had some nice throws outside numbers to sideline which was nice, but far from "impressive." More like typical rookie QB performance and as to be expected. Saying it's not impressive isn't objective is in fact being bias though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uEZ73rsg1S4 16-0

Been kind of my thoughts during this whole sideshow as well. As well as getting people "woke" to the corruption and BS. Instead of blindly falling in line. My mother for the first time in decades won't vote she said, unless there's a third party.

Mr. Robot went full 90s last night including Bud Light and the USA Network playing along with retro commercials https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRZJLqy61iM

Never seen a candidate self implode the way Trump is good lord I thought he actually had a chance to win for a bit there especially with the DNC leaks but he just can't stop dropping grenades at his own feet.

We'll see if he's utilized right though, he's best in a 4-3-3. ManU has put together a strange squad. Over the hill Ibra and Rooney featured. Overly hyped Martial and Memphis. But two dope new pieces in Pogba and Mkhitaryan. Guess Rashford is getting pushed back to backup. That's the attack though. Other than De Gea in goal their defense is very questionable. I think they come up short of CL in the end and finish 5th and Mourinho ends up watching games from the stands like last year throwing a hissy fit

The Nice Guys Light, funny, fun. Just like Shane Black's other good one Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Just like that one too it's got a mystery that unfolds as it goes on. Just a good flick to kick back and watch one day.

USA International Nagbe the gawd https://twitter.com/TotalMLS/status/762407751506993152