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RazorStar

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Everything posted by RazorStar

  1. RazorStar

    Best Player in the NFL, Sweet 16

    Bump it up.
  2. RazorStar

    Lions high on Jimmy Smith

    Wait, I meant Smokescreen.
  3. RazorStar

    Retired players to announce 2nd round picks

    Shannon Sharpe? Oh boy. The Broncos draft Ulufufuff Uggugh, Tigers Who did we draft?
  4. RazorStar

    Larry Fitzgerald willing to support teammates financially

    Terrible idea. *tsk tsk Fitzy*
  5. RazorStar

    Emmitt Smith's Mock Draft

    1. Carolina Panthers: Cam Norton, QB, Auburn I normally like to begin my NFL Mark Draft on positive, but I must begin my NFL Mark Draft on a not positive. I was very disturb to hear that some folk on a newspaper Pro Football Weekday say that Norton is racist because he have a fake smile. First of all, how do someone have a fake smile? Do somebody buy paint at the store that sell paint, and then paint the smile on their faces with paint? Cam Norton play football, and sometime there is rain in football, and if he have paint on his face, then the rain will wash the paint away. Pro Football Weekday obviously do not know how paint work. 2. Denver Broncos: Mark Dares, DT, Alabama When you look at the death chart for the Denver Bronco, you see that they do not has many player who can play the defensive tackles position. That is why Mark Dares make a lot of sense at this position. Speaking of Dareons, the guy on the TV, Mike Maycock, confuse me when he say that Dareo can play three technique or five technique. Five technique a lot of technique! But make up your damn mind, Maycock! Either Dariel can play as many as three technique or five technique. Maybe you can add them together and get nine technique, so I'm goin' on record and sayin' that Mark Dart can play nine technique! 3. Buffalo Bills: Vern Miller, DE/OLB, Texas A&M This may surprise you, but I did not get a law agree when I went to the University of Florida Gata. So sometime, law confuse me. Very confuse me. I heard on a Web sight that Vern Miller gonna sue the entire National Football Conference because he do not think it is fair to have a draft during a lockdown. Now, what is gonna happen when Vern Miller win his lawsuits and he become guilty of the own thing he tryin' to lawsuit himself against? Will he go to jail or owe a billion dollars? I think we all can agree that lawsuiting yourselves is a very stupid idea. 4. Cincinnati Bengals: Blade Gabber, QB, Missouri When Blade Gabber's parents gave birth control to him, they name their son Blade after a sword, a knive or scissor. This mean he have a very sharp personality, and that his personality have very sharpness. Some may even say that he is a sharp as a whistle. The Bengal need a quarterback because Carson Palmer announce his unretirement a couple of days ago. Palmer said that he have $80 million sittin' in the bank. I wish I had $80 million. That would make me a billionaire, and I would build a large waterslide in the backyard of my house with the $80 million I steal from Carson bank accountment. 5. Arizona Cardinals: Jake Locker, QB, Washington There are two certainty in life: Death and Texas. However, if you want to expand that list to three item, the third list on the item is that the Cardinal will be draftin' a quarterback in the NFL Mark Draft. The Cardinal have a big problem at the quarterback positions ever since Kurt Warner left to upstage me on Dancin' on the Stars. Matt Lion Heart was suppose to be Warner's successful, but he showed that he had no heart, much like the lion who have no heart in the Lion, the Witch and the Dressrobe. 6. Cleveland Browns: Mark Ingram, RB, Alabama When I look at all the NFL Mark Draft on the Interweb, I see that no one have Mark Ingram goin' to the Brown. I am very a Pauled by this. And Paul a very angry man, so when someone a Pauled, you know that they have very angry inside. As a fellow runnin' back in the Southeast Eastern Conference, Ingram is a great runnin' back and every team need at least three great runnin' back. The only runnin' back the Brown have is a guy name Peyton Hills, who ruin my fantastic football team because he wored down the stretch. Hills is an old man, and as the old sayin' go, you can't teach a new dog old trick or treat. 7. San Francisco 49ers: A.J. Green, WR, Georgia Normally I would say that team need to get as many runnin' back as possible, but the 94ers have no wide receiver outside of Michael Treecrab. And by the look of his name you might suspect that Michael Treecrab is a tree that have crab inside. But these are no true! Same with Jake Lockers. He may have a locker in the locker room, but Jake Locker not made out of lockers! 8. Tennessee Titans: Ryan Mallard, QB, Arkansas When the Titan was at the crosswords of their season last season, the coach and quarterback got into a quabble. First, Vince Young yell at everybody and storm out of the room because the vendin' machine don't have Orange Soda. Then, Jeff Fishman try to stop him by givin' him Grape Soda instead. Vince Young, who not so young anymore, call Fishman a liar, a thief and a pilgrim, and storm out of the building. Jeff Fishman basically a take a gun and stab his quarterback in the back, so he need to find a new quarterback. Ryan Mallard have some character issue, but sometimes character can be good, and sometime character can be bad, and sometime character can be not good, but not bad, but somewhere in between. 9. Dallas Cowboys: Emmitt Smith IV, RB, Florida The Cowboy have not had a great runnin' back since they got rid of your truthfulness. They try to give the job to Troy Hambone, but he failed. Then Julian Jone. He fail. Then Mario Barber. He fail. Then Felix Jone. He fail. LeShard Choice even have a chance, but he do not have much of a chance but if he did have a chance he would have suffered the same deminds. Load and behole, Emmitt Smith IV Jr., the fruit of my loom. I keep tryin' to get my son, Emmitt Smith IV the Fourth into the mark draftin', but no team ever take him. My son now 10 or maybe 12 year old, so he got a bright future behind himselves. 10. Washington Redskins: Michael Shore, RB, Illinois I do not want to keep beatin' a dead nurse, but teams want to make the doggone playoff, they need to get lots of good runnin' back on the team. Michael Shore would fix that problem for the Redskin. Mike Shannon lookin' for a runnin' back who can run fast, run hard, run strong, run long and run real real good and can catch the ball when need be. Well, these are Michael Shore's bread and water. He can do all those thing for the Redskin. 11. Houston Texans: Ryan Williams, RB, Virginia Tech I am breakin' the news on my NFL Mark Draft. The Texan are gettin' a running back in the first round of the NFL Mark Draft this draft. If you do not believe me, I do not blame you. I do not even believe myselves! But I heard this information from a sorts I talk to the other day. He tell me that the Texan are draftin' a runnin' back, and when I ask why, he say that teams need lots of good runnin' back to go to the doggone playoff. "Ah, of course," I said to my sorts. But then before I could ask him what the Viking will be doing, I woke up from my dream. So, take my broken news with a grain of pepper because I heard it in a dream, but you know what they say about dream - sometime dream can come true, but sometime a dream can come false. 12 Minnesota Vikings: Cam Newton, QB, Auburn Lots of teams need quarterback, but I run out of quarterback on my list, so I must use Cam Newton again to give to the Viking. Cam Newtown is gonna throw lot of passes downtown. Do you liked how I metaphized that sentence? I hope you did, because I went to the trademark office to copyright that metaphize. So, every time from now on from right now till the end of time, every time someone say "Cam Newton is gonna throw lot of passes downtown" or something of that milk, I'm gonna get paid a nickel. When the end of time finally come, I'm definitely gonna have a lot of nickel. 13 Detroit Lions: Da'Quan Bowsers, DE, Clemson Da'Quan Bowsers name after the green wolf at the end of Super Mario Brother. The wolf and the lion are like brother and sister animal, so that is why Da'Quan Bowsers go to the Detroit Lion. I remember playin' the Super Mario Brother video game. It was frustration - very frustration. Every time I knock the Bowsers on his backside, he fall into the lava but then the midget with the pizza hat at the end say that the princess is on another castle. Why do they not hang a sign on the door that say, "Not the castle of the princess?" Maybe the princess should leave a note sayin, "I have gone to the tanning salon castle, be back in a couple hour?" 14 St. Louis Rams: Greg Salsa, WR, Hawaii Everybody say that Sam Brandon have a good rookie years last year. He almost lead the team to the doggone playoff, but he lossed the final game to the Seahawk, which take the wind right out of his salesman. The Ram need a receiver, and Greg Salsa sound like he could be a good player in the National Football Conference. Greg Salsa have the definition of a homophobe - a word that have two different meanin' and two different spellin'. On one hand, salsa mean the thing you dunk your potato chip in, and on two hand, salsa mean the forbidden dance that have been forbidden. 15 Miami Dolphins: Jordan Toadman, RB, Connecticut Everybody know the Dolphin need runnin' backs after Ricky Wilkins and Roddy Brown retirement. Everybody, that is, except for the Dolphin himselves! The Dolphin meet with Randy Mallett four time in the past day, which mean he not lookin' at runnin' backs. Well, I am here to say that the Dolphin is in denial. And denial is not only a river that float in Texas. I never seen Toadman play until I watch this video on YouTube. If you see, Toadman jump real high all the time and he made out of green, which can be usefulness on the goal zone. 16. Jacksonville Jaguars: Edmond Gays, WR, Abilene Christian Call me crazy, but I'm takin' the Jackson Jaguar movin' to L.A. rumors with a grain of pepper. It make no sense to me. First of all, how the team gonna move the whole stadium to the Specific Ocean? Do the stadium have wheel underneath that can roll to the Specific Ocean all by itselves? Of course not! By my estimitizin', it would take 800 wheel to move a stadium to the Specific Ocean, and there are not that many wheel in existment! But if the Jaguar decide to move to the City of Sin, Edmond Gays would be a good draft pick. Not only do the Jaguar need receiver, they also need gaysexual folk like Gays because there are so many gaysexual in the City of Sins. 17. New England Patriots: J.J. Wart, RB, Wisconsin I read on American on the Line that Bill Belichick not goin' to draft J.J. Wart from Wisconsin because Belichick do not like Wart's agent, Tom Condom. Some people still think the Patriot will draft Wart as a defensive linesmen, but Belichick a man of big principles. And the principles is the guy who in charge of the high school! But what happen if Wart change his position to runnin' back? I saw a picture of Wart, who a big white guy. Another big white guy is Peyton Manning, who run a mop all over the Patriot last year with the Browns. If Wart become a runnin' back, I can see him in the Patriot. 18. San Diego Chargers: Steven Friday, RB, Virginia Tech The Charger missin' LaDainian Tom... uhh... Tom... uhh... Tom last year and missed the doggone playoff because of these happened stance. The team need new runnin' back so bad that it would not surprise me to see the Charger spend every single pick in the mark draft on a runnin' back! Steven Friday name remind me of Friday, Friday song by Rebecca Brown. I saw my son, Emmitt Smith the Fifth watchin' it on the YouTube, and at first I slap him upside the head because I thought it was a porno video. But then I realize that Rebecca Black just signin' about the day Friday, which have high value of education. My son learn that Saturday come after Friday and then Sunday come before Friday. I learn these in six grade! 19. New York Giants: No Pick in the Mark Draft! The Giant are the bone of my existant... or... uhh... the vein of my existencement. I forgot how this metaphize go, but the point being I hate the Giant with my every fiberoptic of my body. I do not want to give the Giant any player in the Markk Draft because they do not deserve any player! 20. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Justin Houston, DE, Georgia I did not watch any game of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers ball club last season, so I call an old college of mine, Troy Aiken, to fine out who they are going to pick in the mark draft. Troy Aiken tolded me to put Justin Houston in this pick in the mark draft. I has never heard of Justin Houston, but from the look of things, he must be from the state of Houston, which located in the city of Dallas. I then shown Troy Aiken my mark draft, and ask him what he think of my mark draft? He say, "Emmitt, it's called 'mock draft.'" I am surprise to learn that the NFL Mark Draft is not call NFL Mark Draft after all. It is called the NFL Mock Draft. All this time, I thought the NFL Mark Draft was name after someone name Mark, but it turns out that the NFL Mock Draft is name after someone name Mock. 21. Kansas City Chiefs: Marcus Pouncey, G, Florida If it were up to me, Marcus Pouncey would be the first entire pick in the entire mock draft. First of all, Marcus Pouncey from the University of Florida State, go gata. And third of all, Marcus Pouncey have a brother in the National Conference of Football who name Marcus Pouncey. And he not just his brother - he is twin brother, which mean they exactly the same person, but different. A long time ago, some scientist or dentist do a comparison of twin, and he learn that they can read each other's mines, almost like they have the telephone ability. Marcus Pouncey is his brother creeper, so he learn all the trick of the trade when it come down to playin' football in the professionals. And he learn all the trick of the trade usin' the telephone ability! 22. Indianapolis Colts: Greg Salads, WR, Hawaii While we on the subjective of twin, do anybody else find it odd that there are two prospect name Greg Salsa and Greg Salads? They both receiver, and they both from the city of Hawaii. Just one guy have a "D" in his name, and one guy do not have a "D" in his name, and one guy name after a soup, and one guy name after a salad. This all very confusin', but one thing that do not have confuse is that the Colt need to give Peyton Hillis a receiver to throw to because Boston Collie got hit upside the head every game he play. 23. Philadelphia Eagles: Anthony Conzo, OT, Boston College Why do so many people still have a problem with Michael Vick? Everybody deserve a second chance. Michael Vick deserve a second chance to drown more dog and electrify more dog. Those are his hobby, and as long as he not hurtin' anybody, nobody have a right to destroy his hobby! The Eagle better protect Michael Vick because too many defensive men hit him upside the backside last season. Anthony Conzo see his stock fallin' recently because he a Rhoades Scholar like that guy last year. When will people learn that Rhoades Scholar have nothin' to do with the National Football Conference? Conzo is a Rhoades Scholar, which obviously mean that he study the road and the highway. But road and highway do not have anything to do with the game of footballs! 24. New Orleans Saints: Virgin Green, TE, Nevada The Saint release Jeremy Shock a couple of day or week ago, which really shock me. And I am not just sayin' these because Jeremy Shock have the same alphabet as the word "shock." I'm sayin' these because I have shock when the the Saint got rid of Jeremy Shock! It is hide time to bring in a new tight end who can catch the football from Drew Breed. Virgin Green really intrigue me because he never have sexuals before. Not too many player can resist the temptation of woman, so Virgin Green will soon learn about the bird and the bee. If you do not know the story yourselves, it is about the man bird see the woman bee, and they decide to have sexuals. Then the woman bee have a baby, but the man bird do not want to stay around, so he leave and then the judge make him pay child support. 25. Seattle Seahawks: No player needed! I'm so sick and tire of all these pick. Why do the mock draft has to has so many doggone pick? I need to call Roger Goldman to change the order of the mock draft so I don't become to tire makin' my doggone pick. From now on, 10 pick in the first round, five pick in the second round and three pick in the third round. That's it, no ifs ands or buttons. I cannot even mustard the strength to find out who the Seahawk goin' to pick, so I went on the Google machine and type in "Pete Carroll." Eventually, I found the following passageway: Peter Carroll, two young British ... with the IOT during the 1980s disliked the increasingly draconian... Draconian? Draconian obviously mean it have something to do with Dracula and maybe werewolf or Count Chocula. So if the Seahawk have all those character on the team, they do not need anybody else! 26. Baltimore Ravens: Tyrone Smith, OT, USC Do Tyrone Smith make sense for the Raven? I call Jim Harbaugh to find out the truth. He say that Tyrone Smith bein' available would be a pipe dream. Contrary to popular believes, a pipe dream is not a dream that have many pipe! It may sound crazy, but I swear it is truth - I just look it up on the Wikipedius! 27. Atlanta Falcons: Blade Gabberd, QB, Missouri Joe Theismand talk about Matt Ryan one night on Thursday Night Football Conference during the season. He say somethin' interestin'. So interestin', I grab a pencil and scrabble it on my notepad. He say, "Matt Ryan have a clock in his head." How do Matt Ryan have a clock? I think about it a long time, and I do not understand how the clock fit inside. I even try to fit a clock inside my head, but it do not fit! Somethin' obviously wrong with Matt Ryan, so the Falcon need a new quarterback. I only use Blade Gabberd only once so far, so he become the second pick for a team in the mock draft. 28. New England Patriots: Mistake - No Player! I has one question for everybody readin' this mock draft. How do the Patriot have two draft pick in the first round? I thought about this question for a month, and I come up with three possible solution: 1. Bill Billick use his camera to steal this doggone pick. 2. It is ground dog day all over again, like in the movie where the guy wake up on ground dog day every day. I hate it when the ground dog see his shadow, so there will be six more months of spring. 3. Roger Goldman make a mistake when he make the order of the mock draft. So no player, Mr. Billick! Like the sayin' go, cheaters never win, and quitters never cheat. 29. Chicago Bears: Jah Reid, OT, Central Florida Everybody got on Jay Butler's case when he injury himselves in the doggone playoff. He left the game and cry like a baby on the sidelined. I once play a game against the Giant, the bone of my existent, when I have injured, and Jay Butler cannot even try. It is true when people say he have sand in his viganus. A linemen will make sure Butler protected. Jah Reid do not have a relation to Jah Rule even though they have the same first name and the same first alphabet of the last names. I call Jah Rule to confirm these hypothensis, but he laugh at me, so it must not be true. 30. New York Jets: Austin Bettis, WR, Boise State On Monday Night Football Conference, Mike Taco say that Mark Santiago have a lot of pocket presents. And presents is what you give on Christmas, birthday and Halloween! Speakin' of presents, I'm goin' give Mark Santiago a presents with this pick in the mock draft. And if you think by presents I mean wide receiver, well you hit the nail right on the button! Austin Bettis a tough receiver. How do I know? Because he have the same alphabet in the last name as Jerome Bettis. See, if somebody have the same alphabet in the first name as somebody else, there is only a 50-percent chance they half related. But if two person have the same alphabet in the last name, there is 1,000-percent chance they brother from the same mother or aunt. 31. Pittsburgh Steelers: Cameron Heyward, RB, Ohio State Some people say that Cameron Heyward is a defensive linesman. What a ignorance statement! Cameron Heyward obviously runnin' back in the National Football Conference. Cameron Heyward dad name Ironhead Heyward, and the apple do not fall far from the bush. But Cameron Heyward need a nickname that is not Nick. His dad was Ironhead, and iron given to second place in the Olympus Game. Copper is the next prize, so I will call Cameron Heyward "Copperhead" Heyward. 32. Green Bay Packers: Cam Newton, QB, Auburn Congratulation to the Green Bay Packer for winnin' the doggone playoff. To the victory go the spoiled food! If the Packer want to win the doggone playoff for the second time in a row, they gonna need new blood at the quarterback. Aaron Rodgers a good athlete, but the Packer are puttin' all their egg in one basketball if they countin' on Aaron Robinson to do what he did last year again this year. Can Newton good enough to be takened three time in a row in the mock draft. He is that talent. He can throw the ball, he have confidence in his own confident, and he float like a butterfly, sting like a leopard.
  6. RazorStar

    New Story

    Well you certainly established the main character as someone who has trouble getting along with anything different. It does feel a bit jarring when you jump from scene to scene, but I'm guilty of the same thing when I write so it's not that big an issue. You really set the atmosphere well here, you can almost hear the sounds of the small town bar as the story is narrated in one of those country crooner voices. Very interesting read, it's nice to see some stories being put on here.
  7. RazorStar

    Christian Ponder sharp during pro day

    Lol Ponder not going in the first round.
  8. I'm about to this to the topic.
  9. RazorStar

    ESPN's Top 10 Cornerbacks

    Actually CLements being a better tackler than Flowers is arguable.
  10. RazorStar

    TGP's Top 10 NFL Quarterbacks

    1. Aaron Rodgers 2. Philip Rivers 3. Drew Brees 4. Tom Brady 5. Ben Roethlisberger 6. Peyton Manning 7. Matt Schaub 8. Tony Romo 9. Matt Ryan 10. Joe Flacco -- 11. Josh Freeman
  11. RazorStar

    Best Player in the NFL, Sweet 16

    You can tell just how hard it is considering I voted differently in 7 of the 8 matches and can still see solid reasoning for other votes. Cole, Fitzgerald, Rivers, Joe Thomas, Andre Johnson, Rodgers, Ngata, and Asmougha here.
  12. You know what to do. Shit gets crazy here. vs. vs. vs. vs. vs. vs. vs. vs. GET SOME HAIR ACTION.
  13. RazorStar

    Best Player in the NFL, Round of 32

    Woohoo, twenty votes. Here are the results: Andre Johnson 19 Champ Bailey 1 Kyle Williams 7 Calvin Johnson 13 Aaron ROdgers 16 James Harrison 4 Roddy White 1 Patrick WIllis 19 DeMarcus Ware 18 Nick Mangold 2 Peyton Manning 8 Haloti Ngata 12 Nnamdi Asomugha 18 Jason WItten 2 Justin SMith 14 Carl Nicks 6 Thanks for voting everyone, new topics will be up shortly.
  14. Here we go, let the epicness begin. vs. vs. vs. vs. vs. vs. vs. vs. GET TO VOTING
  15. RazorStar

    Best Player in the NFL, Round of 32

    Here are the final results: Tom Brady 16 Jon Beason 1 Jamaal Charles 8 Trent Cole 9 Larry Fitzgerald 11 Julius Peppers 6 Adrian Peterson 2 Darrelle Revis 15 Drew Brees 11 Mario Williams 6 Justin Tuck 4 Philip Rivers 13 Troy Polamalu 17 James Laurinaitis 0 Joe Thomas 13 Maurice Jones-Drew 4 Thank you for voting, and the next round will be up shortly.
  16. RazorStar

    TGP's Top 10 NFL Quarterbacks

    Per running the Best Player in the NFL topic, we had 10 QB's make the Top 128. Currently there are 5 in the top 32 still there. Tom Brady Ben Roethlisberger Peyton Manning Matt Schaub Philip Rivers Tony Romo Aaron Rodgers Drew Brees Josh Freeman Matt Ryan I imagine the final list will be something like that. I'll put my list up after I put the next round of said tournament up.
  17. I'm sure some players will "cross the picket line" of sorts. Hell, I'd be one of the first, and I'm a bit surprised this hasn't been done sooner.
  18. RazorStar

    Pete Priscoe's Top 100 Players in the NFL

    Laurinaitis is a beast, he's developed into a real leader on the Rams defense, and is almost assuredly the second best linebacker in the NFC West. great vision, good coverage skill and great run stopping ability.
  19. Frank Zappa Steve Vai Buckethead Jimi Hendrix John Petrucci --- Alex Lifehouse Jimmy Page Tom Morello Eric Clapton Wolfgang Zenk Yeah, don't know a lot of guitarists off the top of my head, check out 7 for 4, if you haven't heard the last name on this list.
  20. RazorStar

    2011 Mock Draft Discussion Thread

    Why the fuck did you take three defensive backs in the mid round you asshole, other people need them more than you do you avaricious cuntstain.
  21. RazorStar

    Best Player in the NFL, Round of 32

    GOTTERDAMNUNG
  22. RazorStar

    Best Player in the NFL, Round of 32

    Let's bump, 24 hours to go.
  23. RazorStar

    Bengals targeting WR in 1st round, QB in 2nd

    Smoke Screen.
  24. RazorStar

    ESPN's Top 10 Cornerbacks

    Looks at list for two seconds. *pulls out shotgun* *shoots monitor repeatedly* FUCKING DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT SHIT
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