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RazorStar

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Everything posted by RazorStar

  1. RazorStar

    2020 Democratic Primary Race

    the only lasting political change involves a lot of guillotines.
  2. RazorStar

    2020 Democratic Primary Race

    in the nearly 30 years Joe has been running for president, he's never finished higher than 4th in a primary or caucus. I hope you're all prepared for a Trump / Buttchug election.
  3. How do you give away an absolute superstar like Mookie Betts for practically nothing?
  4. NFC West, going to super bowls just to be the token loser.
  5. Are you all ready for the worst super bowl in years? Because it probably can't be worse than last years, but oh man if it is! We've seen explosive offenses vs. explosive defenses before, and every time, it's been the defense that's pulled out the victory. However, the Chiefs have actually been really good this year thanks to the addition of honey badger, so it's not really as clear cut as all that. I'm fully expecting the Chiefs to buck convention and win because the 49ers have been a very unlucky team in terms of bad bounces and fluky turnovers. It hasn't hurt them much since they're so talented, but they are facing a team that's been on a heater and looks unstoppable. Getting out to an early lead isn't even a good sign against the Chiefs this season, that's how freaking fluky they've been all year round. Anyway, some trend is going to break, and it's not going to be a pretty outcome.
  6. RazorStar

    Dissonants Unite

    https://www.thebeaverton.com/2020/01/sanders-campaign-relieved-to-have-dodged-clinton-endorsement/
  7. RazorStar

    Dissonants Unite

    So is every human being on the god damn planet?
  8. RazorStar

    2020 Democratic Primary Race

    From the sounds of it, it seems like this was a smear on Bernie by Warren supporters, or just Warren sticking her foot in her mouth again.
  9. RazorStar

    Dissonants Unite

    check the source on the bottom of the graph. 😛
  10. As someone who started writing a series of fanfictions based off of a dumb joke on stream, just go for it. You know you want to. Eat the forbidden apple you leg having bitch.
  11. RazorStar

    Razor's QB Rankings 2019

    Hello everyone, it's another year of this. Most of you are familiar with the general premise of what I do for these rankings, basing it solely on offensive efficiency. These stats are completion percentage, TD/ATT, TO/ATT, and Yards per Attempt, with sacks, rushing attempts and fumbles factored into the equation as well. For my numbers, a fumble counts as 1/2 of a turnover whether the offense ends up giving the ball away or not, as sometimes you have scenarios where a guy fumbles 15 times but never loses possession, while a guy who only fumbles 5 times and loses possession every time should not be punished more for variance. Any ties on my list are sorted by Yards per Attempt, as I find that is the best measure of determining a winning QB. We started week 1 with 3 absurdly impressive performances for QB's who had a lot to live up to with the season looming. Lamar Jackson was treated as just a runningback trying to play QB, Dak Prescott decided to bet on himself and go for a big contract rather than take a midlevel deal, and Patrick Mahomes needed to silence the doubters that he couldn't repeat an MVP caliber season. All of them have made great strides in silencing that narrative. The big stories otherwise include Kirk Cousins failing to qualify on attempts in a win, Gardner Minshew coming out of nowhere and looking like a beast against the Chiefs defense, and business as usual for Tom Brady and Drew Brees who are once again playing at a high caliber in their 40's. As this is week 1, there is still lots of room for these numbers to vary wildly, so take the early rankings with a grain of salt. They really don't start to form an accurate picture until the midway mark of the season, so keep that in mind. Week 1 Rankings 1. Dak Prescott 13 2. Lamar Jackson 14 3. Patrick Mahomes 17 4. Tom Brady 29 5. Derek Carr 30 6. Case Keenum 34 7. Carson Wentz 36 8. Gardner Minshew 41 9. Marcus Mariota 47 10. Drew Brees 49 11. Russell Wilson 52 12. Jacoby Brissett 54 13. Philip Rivers 55 14. Deshaun Watson 55 15. Eli Manning 65 16. Matthew Stafford 66 17. Joe Flacco 66 18. Andy Dalton 69 19. Matt Ryan 74 20. Josh Allen 74 21. Jimmy Garoppolo 82 22. Aaron Rodgers 83 23. Sam Darnold 88 24. Kyler Murray 92 25. Ryan Fitzpatrick 93 26. Cam Newton 94 27. Baker Mayfield 97 28. Ben Roeth 99 29. Jared Goff 100 30. Mitch Trubisky 104 31. Jameis Winston 112
  12. RazorStar

    Razor's QB Rankings 2019

    And the final results. Not a whole lot of changes this week. The big risers were Carson Wentz, who got to prey on an abysmal Giants pass defense and despite having nothing at WR, still caved in face. The other large riser was Gardner Minshew, who looked good in the last week of the season against a beat up Colts team, and helped make sure their division rival Titans would get in even with a loss this week. There was one major faller, as Duck Hodges completed his cratering to the near bottom of the list. Case Keenum also fell a few spots as the Cowboys got the better of a worn down Redskins squad. Pretty much no movement other than that, so Drew Brees ends the season as your most efficient QB. The Playoff QB's this year finished 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 11, 12, 13, 15, 21, and 22 this season, with Tom Brady and Josh Allen being the odd men out. Teddy Bridgewater also deserves mention for keeping the Saints afloat during Brees' injury, which is why I'm giving him credit for the Saints. Week 17 QB Rankings: 1. Drew Brees 12 2. Lamar Jackson 18 3. Patrick Mahomes 23 4. Ryan Tannehill 30 5. Kirk Cousins 34 6. Russell Wilson 36 7. Dak Prescott 37 8. Matthew Stafford 42 (+1) 9. Derek Carr 43 (-1) 10. Deshaun Watson 47 11. Jimmy Garoppolo 54 12. Aaron Rodgers 63 13. Teddy Bridgewater 63 14. Drew Lock 77 15. Carson Wentz 79 (+4) 16. Jacoby Brissett 79 17. Matt Ryan 80 18. Kyler Murray 81 19. Case Keenum 84 (-4) 20. Gardner Minshew 87 (+3) 21. Tom Brady 87 (+1) 22. Josh Allen 89 (-2) 23. Philip Rivers 90 (-2) 24. Jared Goff 93 (+1) 25. Ryan Fitzpatrick 93 (+1) 26. Jameis Winston 94 (-2) 27. Marcus Mariota 103 28. Mitch Trubisky 105 29. Sam Darnold 107 30. Eli Manning 108 31. Daniel Jones 109 (+2) 32. Jeff Driskel 110 33. Nick Foles 110 (+1) 34. Baker Mayfield 111 (+1) 35. Mason Rudolph 115 (+1) 36. Joe Flacco 126 (+1) 37. Andy Dalton 132 (+1) 38. Kyle Allen 144 (+1) 39. Devlin Hodges 147 (-8) 40. Dwayne Haskins 151 (+1) 41. David Blough 153 (-1) 42. Josh Rosen 166
  13. RazorStar

    Super Bowl LIV Picks

    Well I somehow managed to nail one 6th seed, and get a 6th seed competitor for the last week of the season. If that did end up being the superbowl that would certainly be unexpected.
  14. RazorStar

    Merry Christmas you buttholes!

    May your day be better than the average, and the food much better than the average!
  15. RazorStar

    Razor's QB Rankings 2019

    Well that was one hell of a week. Andy Dalton nearly leads a 16 point comeback over the Dolphins, Ryan Fitzpatrick throws 5 TDs, same with Danny Dimes, as all the trash teams play each other and get to go off. With just one week left, and a lot of teams having nothing to play for, I don't expect the final results to change too much from this, but we shall see what happens. But hey, Drew Lock appearance, and he isn't completely shitting the bed! Week 16 QB Rankings 1. Drew Brees 14 2. Lamar Jackson 19 3. Patrick Mahomes 23 4. Ryan Tannehill 31 (+1) 5. Kirk Cousins 35 (-1) 6. Russell Wilson 38 7. Dak Prescott 42 8. Derek Carr 42 (+2) 9. Matthew Stafford 44 10. Deshaun Watson 47 (-2) 11. Jimmy Garoppolo 59 12. Aaron Rodgers 60 13. Teddy Bridgewater 65 14. Drew Lock 70 (NR) 15. Case Keenum 72 (+1) 16. Jacoby Brissett 73 (-2) 17. Matt Ryan 77 (-2) 18. Kyler Murray 83 (-1) 19. Carson Wentz 83 (-1) 20. Josh Allen 88 (-1) 21. Philip Rivers 91 (-1) 22. Tom Brady 91 (+1) 23. Gardner Minshew 92 (-1) 24. Jameis Winston 94 (-3) 25. Jared Goff 102 (+1) 26. Ryan Fitzpatrick 102 (+5) 27. Marcus Mariota 105 (+2) 28. Mitch Trubisky 107 (-4) 29. Sam Darnold 108 (-2) 30. Eli Manning 109 (-2) 31. Devlin Hodges 110 (-6) 32. Jeff Driskel 111 33. Daniel Jones 111 (+1) 34. Nick Foles 114 (-4) 35. Baker Mayfield 117 (-2) 36. Mason Rudolph 117 37. Joe Flacco 126 (-2) 38. Andy Dalton 133 (-1) 39. Kyle Allen 138 (-1) 40. David Blough 150 (-1) 41. Dwayne Haskins 153 (-1) 42. Josh Rosen 166 (-1)
  16. I can't believe the NFL Season is almost over already. What a shame. As we push towards the home stretch, the playoff chase is really intriguing this year. Let's take a look at the AFC first. 1. Baltimore 11-2 (H2H wins over NE, BUF, PIT (1-0), HOU) (H2H Loss to KC) Remaining games vs. NYJ, at CLE, vs. PIT 2. New England 10-3 (H2H win over Buffalo (1-0), Pittsburgh) (H2H Losses to BAL, KC, HOU) Remaining Games at CIN, vs. BUF, vs. MIA 3. Kansas City 9-4 (H2H wins over BAL, NE) (H2H losses to HOU, TEN) Remaining Games vs. DEN, at CHI, vs. LAC 4. Houston 8-5 (H2H wins over KC, NE) (H2H losses to BAL): Remaining games at TEN, at TB, vs. TEN 5. Buffalo 9-4 (H2H win over TEN) (H2H losses to NE (0-1), BAL) Remaining Games at PIT, at NE, vs. NYJ 6. Pittsburgh 8-5 (H2H losses to NE, BAL (0-1)) Remaining Games vs. BUF, at NYJ, at BAL --- 7. Tennessee 8-5 (H2H win over KC) (H2H loss to BUF) Remaining Games vs. HOU, vs. NO, at HOU Technically alive: 8. Cleveland Browns 6-7 9. Oakland Raiders 6-7 10. Indianapolis Colts 6-7 11. Denver Broncos 5-8 So let's break down how the current landscape works. First of all, the Ravens. With a game up on the Patriots, and the H2H tiebreaker, the magic number for Baltimore's HFA is 13. With the hapless Jets and Browns on the schedule, they could hit that mark by week 17. A single win, or a single steelers loss will clinch the division for the Ravens. They have a wildcard spot locked up at the very worst, and I can't find a situation where they finish worse than the 5th seed overall. As a funny aside, all of the top seven teams have a path to the number 1 seed overall, though most of them require Baltimore to lose out. The Patriots are sitting cozy at the number 2 seed, and with both the tanking Bengals and Dolphins on the schedule, along with a home date against the Bills, it feels very unlikely that they lose another game this year despite how they've played against contending teams these past two weeks. With H2H losses to all three current division leaders, tiebreakers are unfavourable to the Patriots, but they would need to lose another game to suffer the consequences of that. A single win will get the Patriots a playoff berth locked up, and two wins (or just a week 16 win vs BUF) will clinch the division. Kansas City has great tiebreakers thanks to H2H wins over the current front runners, but they need them to slip up in order to take advantage of it. They clinched the division last week with their win (and the Raiders loss would have done it too), so they don't need to worry about hosting a home game, but with losses to both of the AFC South competitors, they can fall to the 4th seed with a slipup and if a key contender emerges from that pile. The AFC South is completely up to the Texans and Titans. They play each other twice in the final three weeks, and the key to the division is simple. Win both games. If Houston and Tennessee split the series, the advantage goes to the Texans for their better division record. The Texans also play a weaker team than the Titans in week 16 this year. If a team gets swept, they are very likely to miss the playoffs, as a 9-7 record probably won't cut it this year. The Bills and Steelers are the current wildcard teams, and with their game against each other in week 15 meaning a lot for tiebreakers. A win gets Buffalo to 10 wins, and with H2H over both the Titans and Steelers, they would clinch a playoff berth. To clinch their division, the Bills would need to beat the Patriots in week 16, and have them slip up to either the Bengals or Dolphins. 10 wins is the mark the Steelers want to hit as well, but failing that, they'd prefer the Titans to lose since they have better tiebreakers on them. Lastly, the Jets play an interesting spoiler role, as they have the Ravens, Steelers and Bills to close out their schedule. If the Jets steal one of those, they could throw those team's seasons into chaos. NFC musings later.
  17. RazorStar

    NFL Playoff Scenarios (Week 17)

    The chase for the NFC is all but decided as well, with only the NFC East needing to decide it's representative, and the 4th seed in the playoff. If the Eagles win, or the Cowboys lose, the Eagles are the 4th seed by virtue of their win over Dallas last sunday. If the Eagles lose, and Dallas wins, the NFC East is won by the Cowboys at 8-8. They somehow aren't dead yet despite losing 4 straight. The are locked in as the 6th seed thanks to their loss to Green Bay on monday night. The are currently the 5 seed, but they will win the NFC West with a win over San Francisco, and are still in play for home field advantage if both the Packers and Saints lose this week. The are currently penciled in as the third seed. They need the Seahawks to beat the 49ers, as well as the Packers to lose to the Lions and secure a win for themselves. If they lose, they'll be the three seed automatically. If they win, and only one of the 49ers or Packers lose, they can get up to the two seed. The just need a little bit of help to secure home field throughout. A win plus a Seahawks win over San Francisco will do it. A win will get them a first round bye regardless, and a loss will drop them to third unless the Saints lose too. The are the team that controls their destiny for home field advantage. Beat Seattle, and they're the one seed. Lose and they are the 5. If they tie, they still win the division, but the Packers and Saints can get better seeding with wins.
  18. RazorStar

    NFL Playoff Scenarios (Week 17)

    The AFC is pretty simple at this point, aside from the chase for the 6th seed, which can get pretty interesting. are locked in as the one seed, and they'll be resting their starters against the Steelers from the sounds of it. are in the drivers seat for the two seed. A win or a chiefs loss will lock up the two seed, but if they lose and the Chiefs win, they'll fall to the three. are currently the three seed, but can rise to the two seed as shown above, or fall to the four seed if they lose and the texans win. Otherwise they'll remain in the third spot. are currently the four seed, and need a win over the Titans + a chiefs loss to get to the three seed. are locked in as the 5 seed and aren't playing for anything but pride now. are currently in the drivers seat for the 6 seed and have the unassailable SOV advantage over Pittsburgh. A win over the Texans will take it, but they can still get in even with a loss, they just need some help from Pittsburgh, Indianapolis and Oakland of all teams. situation is pretty simple. They need a win and the Titans to lose or draw. Or a draw and a Titans loss, but fundamentally the win would be much better. They actually can backdoor their way in if the Colts go 8-8 as well as the Titans losing to go 8-8. As long as the Raiders don't throw a wrench into the mix... I haven't talked about the Raiders as a potential playoff team yet, but they still have an outside shot in hell here. Their situation requires them to win, the Titans and Steelers to lose, the Colts to beat the Jags, and then to secure the Strength of Victory tiebreaker over the Steelers, which is real close right now.
  19. RazorStar

    NFL Playoff Scenarios (Week 17)

    The hot takes are dead, the Vikings clinch a playoff spot with a Rams loss, so now all that's left in the NFC is a seeding battle. Seattle and San Francisco will decide the fate of the NFC West and likely the number 1 seed in the conference overall. The loser of that game will be the 5th seed, and have to travel to either Dallas or Philadelphia to start a hellish road slog. Speaking of Dallas and Philadelphia, they can mostly decide the NFC East tonight. If Dallas wins, they're in as the 4 seed and the week 17 games don't matter to them. If they lose, the Eagles are a game up, but need either a win in week 17 or a Dallas loss in week 17 to guarantee the spot. In the rare case that we get ourselves a tie, the Cowboys only need to finish with the same or a better record than the Eagles to win the East. The Packers and Vikings are playing for the division crown on monday night. If the Packers win they clinch the NFC North, if they lose, they still lead the NFC North, but will be in position to be overtaken if the Vikings finish with a 12-4 record to their 11-5 record. A tie will favour the Packers on the strength of their in division record. The 49ers need to win week 17 to clinch home field advantage throughout the playoffs. The Saints are currently the three seed. If they win out, Seattle beats San Fran in week 17, and Green Bay stumbles once, they're the one seed. The Vikings are currently the six seed, and cannot win home field advantage throughout anymore. They can get as high as the two seed with a lot of help, but that's it. They can end up the 5 seed by winning out, tying with the Packers for the division, and having San Francisco lose to Seattle on week 17. The Packers need the Seahawks to lose to Arizona today, and beat San Francisco week 17, along with winning out to secure home field advantage. The Seahawks need to win out and have the Packers win out to clinch home field advantage.
  20. Colts took out the Jags. Steelers beat the Bengals, went on the road to handle Denver, and then beat the Colts on the road again.
  21. After spygate part two, I was curious what would happen if the NFL decided to remove a team’s wins retroactively, as if they couldn’t win those games without cheating. As the Patriots have been cheating for years, we can remove all of their wins since 2001 and see what happens. Obviously this has some butterfly/ripple effects that would make drastic changes in the NFL seasons to come, but hey let’s ignore all that. Brady and Belichick stay a battery as they lose every single game on their schedule for nearly 20 years. Let’s see what happens. 2001 The first Patriots super bowl victory, or in this case, the first Patriots winless season. Tom Brady comes off the bench, game manages the team into winning 11 of the next 14 regular season games and starting a legend. That uh… never happened in the correct timeline. 0-16. Colts and Bills get 2 more wins, and the Chargers, Falcons, Saints, Jets, Browns, Dolphins and Panthers get another win. That makes the new AFC East and playoff picture look like this: AFC East 1. New York Jets 12-4 (H2H tiebreaker over Dolphins) 2. Miami Dolphins 12-4 3. Indianapolis Colts 7-9 4. Buffalo Bills 5-11 5. New England Patriots 0-16 AFC: 1. Pittsburgh Steelers 13-3 2. New York Jets 12-4 (up from 6th seed) 3. Oakland Raiders 10-6 4. Miami Dolphins 12-4 5. Baltimore Ravens 10-6 6. Seattle Seahawks 9-7 (unseeded) NFC: Unchanged With the scenario like this, I think it’s actually the Steelers who outlast and survive the Raiders in the AFC Championship, while there’s no reason to believe the NFC wouldn’t belong to the greatest show on turf. However in that super bowl, I’m taking the Rams to beat the Kordell Stewart led Steelers. I do like slash historically, but he’s not a player who I’d ever associate with a super bowl winner. Hines Ward and Plaxico Burress were 1000 yard receivers for this squad though. New 2001 Super Bowl: Rams > Steelers 28-23 2002 The Patriots didn’t make the playoffs this year, as Brady hit a slump, and the team had a serious super bowl hangover. However, they were literally some bad tiebreakers away from both a divisional title or a wild card berth, and could have very easily snuck into the dance in this season. The division realignment meant they no longer shared a division with the Colts, which was to both Brady and Manning’s benefit back then. Now it’s to the Colts detriment, since they don’t get two free wins a season anymore. The Bills get 2 more wins, and the Jets, Dolphins, Steelers, Chiefs, Bears, Vikings, and Lions all get 1 more win. AFC East: 1. New York Jets 10-6 (5-1 Div) 2. Buffalo Bills 10-6 (4-2 Div) (H2H over MIA) 3. Miami Dolphins 10-6 (3-3 Div) 4. New England Patriots 0-16 AFC: 1. Pittsburgh Steelers 11-4-1 (up from 3) 2. Oakland Raiders 11-5 (down from 1) 3. Tennessee Titans 11-5 (down from 2) 4. New York Jets 10-6 5. Buffalo Bills 10-6 (unseeded before) 6. Indianapolis Colts 10-6 (down from 5) (H2H over MIA) NFC: Unchanged So again, I see no reason to believe why Tampa’s great defense wouldn’t take over the NFC once again, so I’m giving them the NFC rep. The AFC is a lot more interesting however. The ripple effect boosts the Steelers into home field advantage in a messy and close race at the top. Titans and Jets win the wild card rounds, Oakland and Pittsburgh should win in the divisional rounds, which gives an interesting Steelers / Raiders Conference championship for the second season in a row. This time the Raiders take it, and eventually lose the Super Bowl, but it’s interesting to see just how much better the Steelers are with the Patriots gone. 2002 Super Bowl. Unchanged. Buccaneers > Raiders 48-21 2003 The Patriots defense was absurd this year and probably would have won games without cheating? Blasphemy, that’s quitter talk. We’re taking out 14 patriot wins and distributing them to teams who deserve it. Capitalism at its finest. The Dolphins and Jets get two more wins, and the Bills, Eagles, Titans, Giants, Browns, Broncos, Cowboys, Texans, Colts, and Jags get another win. AFC East: 1. Miami Dolphins 12-4 2. New York Jets 8-8 3. Buffalo Bills 7-9 4. New England Patriots 0-16 AFC Playoff Picture: 1. Kansas City Chiefs 13-3 (Up from 2) 2. Indianapolis Colts 13-3 (Up from 3) 3. Miami Dolphins 12-4 (Unseeded) 4. Baltimore Ravens 10-6 5. Tennessee Titans 13-3 6. Denver Broncos 11-5 NFC Playoff Picture: Cowboys and Seahawks switch wild card seeds (Dallas becomes the 5, Seattle the 6) So this is the first time the Patriots make a real impact on the NFC, changing the wildcard seeds ever so slightly. Eagles unanimously win the first seed instead of getting it on a tiebreaker, but it’s likely that the NFC remains unchanged with the seeding shifts. Carolina still comes out on top there. With the change to the AFC though, the Colts and Titans are the two best teams in the conference, and one of them is beating the Chiefs and their porous defense like a drum. With HFA on their side and likely a weaker road to the playoffs, I’ll take the Colts to appear in their first super bowl. Just as well, I’ll also take them to win over the 2003 Panthers squad in the super bowl. New 2003 Super Bowl: Colts > Panthers 35-24 2004 And the Patriots first threepeat is… well they’re on a 64 game losing streak now. Time to distribute some more wins, and to crown a new champion as a result. The Jets and Bills get two more wins, and the Dolphins, Colts, Cardinals, Seahawks, Rams, Bills, Chiefs, Ravens, Browns, Bengals, and 49ers all add another win to their tally. AFC East: 1. New York Jets 12-4 2. Buffalo Bills 11-5 3. Miami Dolphins 5-11 4. New England Patriots 0-16 AFC: 1. Pittsburgh Steelers 15-1 2. Indianapolis Colts 13-3 (Up from 3) 3. New York Jets 12-4 (Up from 6, H2H over SD) 4. San Diego Chargers 12-4 5. Buffalo Bills 11-5 (unseeded) 6. Baltimore Ravens 10-6 (Tiebreak over Denver) (unseeded) NFC: Unchanged, Rams are the unanimous 5 seed rather than winning it on tiebreakers. Once again, I don’t think the NFC changes with these results. The Eagles are far and away the best team in that conference, and walk away with it. The AFC however is a massive clusterfuck. The Jets are in a position to shake things up, the Colts get a first round bye, and the Steelers were a 15-1 team that season. My gut says the Steelers beat the Colts in an ugly AFC Championship game, as Hines Ward catches a game winning TD in the final minutes, or Mike Vanderjagt chokes it away. Something heartbreaking I’m sure. Steelers win the AFC to face the Eagles in the battle of Pennsylvania. Terrell Owens goes ham, wins super bowl MVP, and the Eagles are your super bowl champion. New 2004 Super Bowl: Eagles > Steelers 24-20 2005 Ah yes, the years where the Patriots decided to finally stop winning super bowls for a while, give other teams a chance to play meaningful football in January. They still won their division at 10-6, so let’s fix that. They were actually the worst team in the postseason by record too. In any case The Jets and Bills gain 2 more wins, and the Dolphins, Raiders, Steelers, Falcons, Saints, and Bucs all gain an extra win. Just notice how chaotic the AFC East becomes without the presence of the Pats, the Jets and Dolphins practically flip flop the spot year in and year out. AFC East: 1. Miami Dolphins 10-6 2. Buffalo Bills 7-9 3. New York Jets 6-10 4. New England Patriots 0-16 AFC: 1. Indianapolis Colts 14-2 2. Denver Broncos 13-3 3. Pittsburgh Steelers 12-4 (up from 6) 4. Miami Dolphins 10-6 (unseeded) 5. Jacksonville Jaguars 12-4 6. Cincinnati Bengals 11-5 (down from 3) NFC: 1. Seattle Seahawks 13-3 2. Tampa Bay Bucs 12-4 (up from 3) 3. Chicago Bears 11-5 (down from 2) 4. New York Giants 11-5 5. Carolina Panthers 11-5 6. Washington Redskins 10-6 I don’t think the playoffs change much in either conference as a result of this. The Steelers still play the Bengals in the opening round, bully Carson Palmer and take off with a victory, beat Denver handily in Mile High, before playing that disgustingly close match with the Colts as a proper AFC Championship.They just get a home game this time around. Seahawks walk through the NFC with home field advantage, before falling to the Steelers in Super Bowl 40. 2005 Super Bowl Unchanged. Steelers > Seahawks 21-10 2006 You know, it’s downright therapeutic to write Patriots 0-16 over and over again. Almost like fulfilling an ancient prophecy, or summoning a demon or something wild. The one bad thing about doing it for this season is that removes the amazing 2006 AFC Championship from history. But that’s a price I’m willing to pay. The losing streak is at 96 games and we’ve got 12 wins to distribute. The Bills win two games, and the Jets, Dolphins, Bengals, Vikings, Packers, Bears, Lions, Texans, Jags and Titans all get a win as well. AFC East: 1. New York Jets 12-4 2. Buffalo Bills 9-7 3. Miami Dolphins 7-9 4. New England Patriots 0-16 AFC (We have created an enormous 9-7 clusterfuck I dunno what the fuck) 1. San Diego Chargers 14-2 2. Baltimore Ravens 13-3 3. Indianapolis Colts 12-4 (H2H over NYJ) 4. New York Jets 12-4 (up from 5) 5/6/7/8/9/10. Buffalo Bills / Kansas City Chiefs / Denver Broncos / Cincinnati Bengals / Tennessee Titans / Jacksonville Jaguars 9-7 I think the Chiefs and Bengals are the teams that make it out of that clusterfuck, but I could be wrong. In the NFC, the Packers supplant the Giants as the 6th seed, but I don’t think it changes anything major in the conference. The 14-2 Bears sweep through the conference with their HFA. In the AFC, I think it’s likely we see a Chargers vs. Colts AFC Championship, as the bullshit that plagued the Chargers in the divisional round against the Patriots never happens, and instead they beat up the Jets. With the MVP and hot new QB Philip Rivers, the Chargers win the AFC over the Colts based on their heavy run game. And so that takes us to the Super Bowl between two 14-2 teams, top seeds in their conference and… New 2005 Super Bowl Bears > Chargers 33-17 The Chargers lose in heartbreaking fashion because they kicked to Devin Hester multiple times. Rex Grossman, super bowl winning QB. This is the timeline we deserve.
  22. Super bowl changes after 18 years of bullshit. Steelers +3 Conference Champion (net), +1 SB Win (net), +2 SB Losses (from 6-2 to 7-4) Colts +2 Conference Champion (net), +0 SB Win (net), +2 SB Losses. (from 2-2 to 2-4) Chargers +2 Conference Champion, +2 SB Losses (from 0-1 to 0-3) Ravens +1 Conference Champion, +1 SB Loss (2-0 to 2-1) Chiefs +1 Conference Champion, +1 SB Win (1-1 to 2-1) Patriots -9 Conference Champion, -6 SB Wins, -3 SB Loss (from 6-5 to 0-2) Bears +1 Conference Champion, +1 SB Win, -0 SB Loss (net) (from 1-1 to 2-1) Packers +1 Conference Champion, +1 SB Win (from 4-1 to 5-1) Cardinals +1 SB Win, -1 SB Loss (from 0-1 to 1-0) Seahawks +1 SB Win, -1 SB Loss (from 1-2 to 2-1) Eagles +0 SB Win (net), +0 SB Loss (net) (1-2) Rams -1 Conference Champion, +1 SB Win, -2 SB Loss (from 1-3 to 2-1) Giants -1 Conference Champion, -1 SB Win (from 4-1 to 3-1)
  23. 2014 Well the Patriots wanted to go to the super bowl again… NO. Denied. Blocked. 0-16 for you. Odell Beckham was the oroty, Aaron Donald was the defensive rookie of the year, the New England Patriots… went 0-16. Let’s put a couple of wins up for the Jets, and one for the Dolphins, Bills, Vikings, Raiders, Bengals, Bears, Broncos, Colts, Lions, and Chargers. AFC East 1. Buffalo Bills 10-6 2. Miami Dolphins 9-7 3. New York Jets 6-10 4. New England Patriots 0-16 AFC 1. Denver Broncos 13-3 (up from 2) 2. Indianapolis Colts 12-4 (up from 3) 3. Cincinnati Bengals 11-4-1 (up from 6) 4. Buffalo Bills 10-6 (unseeded) 5. Pittsburgh Steelers 11-5 (down from 4) 6. San Diego Chargers 10-6 (H2H > Ravens) (unseeded) The NFC has the wildcards flipflop, but Detroit still can’t beat Green Bay for the division title. The Seahawks still storm out of the NFC, they just handle the Lions in the divisional round instead, before horseshoe magicing the Packers out in the conference championship. In the AFC, the team of note may actually be the Andrew Luck Colts. John Fox was booking his ticket out of Denver by the time the playoffs started, so they’ve got no fire to play well. The Chargers will dispose of the Bengals, and the Steelers will handle the Bills in the wild card. Then I think the Colts win out of that four pack. Ryan Grigson hasn’t completely self destructed the team around Luck just yet, and they can win a conference championship against an upstart Charger team with not a lot to offer. However, the super bowl is clearly in the Seahawks favour, and in the battle of 2012 QBs, Wilson comes out on top. New 2014 Super Bowl Seahawks > Colts 40-17 2015 None of you are free from original sin. None of you are free from The New England Patriots going 0-16, despite Gronk, despite turdstown Tom. 0-16 is the life for all Bahstonians. Let’s go ahead and distribute those 12 wins. 2 for the Bills, and 1 for the Jets, Dolphins, Steelers, Jaguars, Colts, Cowboys, Redskins, Giants, Texans and Titans. That means Ryan Fitzpatrick finally gets a playoff appearance! AFC East: 1. New York Jets 11-5 2. Buffalo Bills 10-6 3. Miami Dolphins 7-9 4. New England Patriots 0-16 AFC: 1. Denver Broncos 12-4 (H2H over Cincy) 2. Cincinnati Bengals 12-4 (up from 3) 3. New York Jets 11-5 (unseeded) 4. Houston Texans 10-6 5. Kansas City Chiefs 11-5 (H2H over Pit) 6. Pittsburgh Steelers 11-5 NFC is Unchanged. So therefore I think the Panthers still walk right on through the AFC without blinking. I’m not trusting Ryan Fitzpatrick in a postseason game, and we saw the Chiefs dismantle this Texans team in reality, so both wildcards win in the AFC. We saw Denver beat Pittsburgh in the AFC championship, so they move on. Now the divisional round match between the Chiefs and Bengals is interesting, because with that bye week, maybe Andy Dalton is healthy. And if Dalton is healthy…. Who am I kidding, it’s the Marv Lewis Bengals. Chiefs win and face the Broncos in the championship. However the Andy Reid school of clock management fails them, and the Broncos go to Super Bowl 50 to face the Panthers. We’ve seen this story before. 2015 Super Bowl. Unchanged. Broncos > Panthers 24-10 2016 Falcons fans rejoice. 28-3 never happens in this timeline. We don’t have to witness three straight years of Patriots super bowls because the Patriots are 0-16. They had a pretty good season, so let’s give away those 14 wins they stole from better teams. But wait, you say. Tom Brady was already suspended 4 games for Deflate Gate, surely you don’t need to remove those- TOO FUCKING BAD CHUM. Maybe you should stop taping team’s signals. We’re giving two wins to the Jets and Dolphins, and a single to the Bills, Cardinals, Texans, Browns, Bengals, Steelers, 49ers, Rams, Ravens and Broncos. Let’s take a look at a new AFC, featuring a 12-4 Miami Dolphins? Wild. AFC East: 1. Miami Dolphins 12-4 2. Buffalo Bills 8-8 3. New York Jets 6-10 4. New England Patriots 0-16 AFC (oh god tiebreaker hell): 1. Pittsburgh Steelers 12-4 (Conference Record > MIA + KC) (Up from 3) 2. Miami Dolphins 12-4 (Common Games > KC) (up from 6) 3. Kansas City Chiefs 12-4 (H2H > Oakland) (down from 2) 4. Houston Texans 10-6 5. Oakland Raiders 12-4 6. Denver Broncos 10-6 (unseeded) The NFC is unchanged, which means there’s no reason not to expect a thirsty Falcons team from winning the NFC. The real question is what a Trevor Siemian led Broncos team does in the postseason this time around? Probably lose to the Chiefs for a third time this season. Texans will beat the Raiders without Derek Carr, and we’ve got all front runners for the Divisional round. Steelers took care of both the Dolphins and Chiefs on the way to the conference championship last time around, I expect things to be the same here. Brock Osweiler and a gritty Texans D doesn’t really scare me. Anyway the super bowl comes around, and this time the Falcons don’t blow a 28-3 lead. They blow a much more modest 13-3 one instead. Le’Veon Bell wins MVP after rushing for 140, receiving for 90, and scoring 2 touchdowns. New 2016 Super Bowl. Steelers > Falcons 24-20 2017 So free home field advantage season after season is kind of bullshit, right? Good thing that doesn’t happen this time around. Patriots get fucked by the long dick of the law and go… you guessed it, 0-16. They’ve got 13 games to change this time around, so let’s do it. Got to give two to the Bills and Jets, and one to the Dolphins, Saints, Texans, Bucs, Falcons, Chargers, Broncos, Raiders and Steelers. However, the Patriots aren’t alone at the bottom this year, as the Browns still go 0-16. The Bills don’t need a miracle to make the playoffs this time around, and actually make the second seed after tiebreakers. AFC East: 1. Buffalo Bills 11-5 2. Miami Dolphins 7-9 3. New York Jets 7-9 4. New England Patriots 0-16 AFC: 1. Pittsburgh Steelers 14-2 (up from 2) 2. Buffalo Bills 11-5 (up from 6) 3. Jacksonville Jaguars 10-6 (Conference record) 4. Kansas City Chiefs 10-6 (H2H tiebreaker) 5. San Diego Chargers 10-6 (unseeded) 6. Tennessee Titans 9-7 (down from 5) In the NFC, the wildcard spots switch around, so the Falcons are the 5 seed, and the Panthers are the 6 seed. The Saints also supplant the Rams as the 3 seed, so the wild card matches don’t actually change. So we can expect the Falcons to beat the Rams again, and the Saints to edge out the Panthers in a tough fought game. And since highest seed plays the lowest seed, the NFC doesn’t actually change despite 4 teams swapping seeds. The Minnesota Miracle still happens, Nick Foles still happens, and the Eagles wind up representing the NFC. The AFC is a different can of worms, because a Blake Bortles miracle never happens. The Titans are the Jags kryptonite, and Marcus Mariota wins a playoff game over his division rival Jags. The Chiefs edge out the Chargers, and face the Bills in the divisional round. In a battle of hyper conservative QBs, it’s the Bills who edge out the Chiefs and go to the conference championship to face the Steelers. Because the Titans run out of gas to the Steeler offensive, and the Bills are immediately tributed to the same cause. Which means we get a rematch of the battle for Pennsylvania in the Super Bowl 13 years later. This time the Steelers don’t underestimate the QB in green, get a bunch of key sacks to limit the high flying Eagles offense, and Le’Veon Bell wins his second straight Super Bowl MVP, rushing for 200 yards, and getting a modest 40 receiving yards with three touchdowns on the night. 2017 New Super Bowl. Steelers > Eagles 38-28 2018 Good news, we can wipe an awful super bowl out of the history books. The Patriots won’t be here to suck all the fun out of football for one last time. The losing streak is at a modest 288 games now, as the future looks bright and hopeful for a Steelers team who looks to three-peat. Two time Super Bowl MVP Le’Veon Bell still holds out, and the Steelers still don’t pay him. We’ve got 11 wins to fix, let’s see what happens. We need to give a pair of wins to the Jets and Bills, as well as one to the Texans, Dolphins, Colts, Chiefs, Bears, Packers and Vikings. AFC East: 1. Miami Dolphins 8-8 (Divisional Record > BUF) 2. Buffalo Bills 8-8 3. New York Jets 6-10 4. New England Patriots 0-16 AFC: 1. Kansas City Chiefs 13-3 2. Houston Texans 12-4 (up from 3) 3. Baltimore Ravens 10-6 4. Miami Dolphins 8-8 (unseeded) 5. Los Angeles Chargers 12-4 6. Indianapolis Colts 10-6 NFC: The Vikings take the 6th seed from the Eagles with their victory over New England, meaning we don’t get to see Nick Foles in the playoffs this time around. With the Bears forcing a three way tie at 13-3, the Rams drop to the 3rd seed by virtue of losses to both Chicago and New Orleans, and have to play an extra playoff game. The Saints drop to the two seed, as the Bears have a superior conference record, that makes the scenario shake out like this. 1. Chicago Bears 13-3 2. New Orleans Saints 13-3 3. Los Angeles Rams 13-3 4. Dallas Cowboys 10-6 5. Seattle Seahawks 10-6 6. Minnesota Vikings 9-6-1 The Vikings limp into the postseason, and easily get handle by the McVay Rams, and we saw the result of the Seattle Dallas match fall in Dallas’ favour. In the Saints vs. Rams redux, we once again see the Saints get screwed by an awful call, and fall to the Rams in a disgustingly close game. The Bears don’t eat shit against the Cowboys, and earn a home game with the Rams. Khalil Mack and Aaron Donald have themselves a grand ol time, but eventually the Bears end up on top, and win the NFC. The AFC is also fun and new with the Patriots evicted from the process. The Chargers easily sweep up the Dolphins, and the Colts surpass the Ravens in a gritty defensive showdown ended by a costly Lamar Jackson fumble. The Chargers keep the heat on and take out the Texans on the road as well, punching a ticket for the AFC Championship game. Patrick Mahomes shows the world he’s the real deal against the Colts, and we get an all AFC West conference championship. This is the year Andy Reid finally breaks through to the Super Bowl in the AFC, putting up 40 points and needing nearly every single one of them in a tight 40-38 victory over the other LA team. So we avoid the battle of Los Angeles, but instead get the battle of the midwest, as offense faces defense, Mahomes vs. the Monsters of the Midway, Trubisky vs the guy Chicago should have drafted instead. Matt Nagy against his former team... lots of storylines come to a head in this alternate future and the result... New 2018 Super Bowl Chiefs > Bears 31-14 Mahomes cannot be stopped by normal means this season, and wins a Super Bowl MVP to go with his regular season MVP. All hail the Mahomes show. 2019 (as of week 15) https://playoffpredictors.com/Football/CustomLeague/SchedulePicker/0E700630-E7FC-43DB-92EA-9E71507C57C9/?L=EwRmoyTcJ7TQU+yqUaAzJj56IEKFillqwbmgAMd9DjNSsyMtTndxKBrlLUnHy9e+SiWGDJqCsREMgA&c=cgm:1|tnptlw:true
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