OSUViking

Damn. Me, Earl, and the Dying Girl triggered all of my emotions to an uncomfortable degree lol. Great movie.

Bit of a difficult one for a lot of people I know to wrap their heads around, but I've been clean from weed for over 3 weeks now. Ever since the mental health stuff started, I don't think I'd gone longer than five days without. Reached a prolonged period where literally everything about my life and day was centered on how I could go get high. Took a look in the proverbial mirror and recognized the role these habits have played in worsening mental health, eroding my relationship last winter, and preventing me from growing as a person. Hasn't been easy. A lot of people have kind of looked at me as if I'm an idiot for thinking 3 weeks is impressive at all, don't think they could understand how those cravings and sensations manifested for me.

If you're willing to do it for free I'll give you a time and a place right now.

I think psychology and sociology can be useful. Gender theory, I absolutely do not think that should be taught in colleges. Maybe even toss out sociology, but I think studying groups of humans and their behavior is useful. The reason I say "maybe toss it out" is because just last Spring I took a sociology class on TECHNOLOGY and the professor still made it about victims vs oppressors whenever he could. Left a sour taste in my mouth tbh. Maybe psychology isn't considered humanities, I've always thought it was. Absolutely a useful field to study, but I agree with Than that there are way too many people in that field... And many don't even go on to contribute as psychologists or therapists of whatever kind. Edit: I don't know if history, languages, etc are considered humanities but they have their relavance.

I think more people who go into fields like the Humanities should pursue other opportunities. I don't want to sound high and mighty because of an engineering degree, but I don't think college is appropriate for someone to explore an interest or hobby. I think colleges sell that narrative so they get more money. I wonder if college would cost as much if the faculty and resources were trimmed a good amount, and so college was more so a way for aspiring professionals to learn skills to specialize.

Lol that's fair. When I shared the pic on Quora I had people remarking that I didn't look anything like what they thought I would. Think this is the first photo I've shared on her, otherwise JD is the only one I've added on FB.

The term has roots in what people describe as traits expected of men that are harmful to both men and women. That's a fair term imo, and there's the argument that there are traits "expected" of women that are harmful for both sexes. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to agree with the terms, but those applications aren't so far fetched. But that's not how they're used. A dude is an asshole now and it's because society promotes "toxic masculinity". No, the dude is just an asshole. A classic example of people warping a term and applying it's stigma across the entire demographic. Same thing happens with feminism. Not all, and in fact most feminists I know, are the toxic shitters you see ranting about patriarchy and toxic masculinity. But some of them have warped the term. Kinda looking at it from both sides. People broadstroke men a lot these says, but especially with movements like MGTOW and MRA I see them applying the same bullshit logic to women.

Incels are dumb but people talk about toxic masculinity as if that's the inherent problem. It's a symptom of a few things, all of which also contribute to piece of shit female human beings as well. I can recognize there are societal factors at play with that behavior but the majority of men aren't even close to that pathetic, tells me it has more to do with how those individuals grew up (parenting, how they socialized at school, how those two things affected their interpretation of the aforementioned societal factors, possibly how their genetics affected all those things... So complex). I don't take the term toxic masculinity seriously. I saw a movie preview that highlighted it will have a lot of "taboo" concepts, including "toxic masculinity" and "fragile male egos". The irony behind the last one is precious. Plenty of people are insecure and they make that other people's problems but again, the majority of men aren't shitbags. Just another term to reinforce victim culture.

Don't think I'm gonna watch that around other people. Shit made me tear up just seeing the preview at the theaters.

This is a dumb selfie that I took for my Quora avatar but figured I'd post it. First picture I've taken of myself in a really long time. The weight that I put on from my meds at first made me insecure as fuck but I've slimmed down quite a bit. Don't have any before/after pics, though. https://imgur.com/a/nyhkhc6 Was having issues getting a preview to show up so there's a link.

Respectable. I suppose by "you" time I figured that would also include time for your family based on the posts you've shared about them. The gap between 7-2 still seems so tight though, but seems like you have it working. What exactly does your business provide? I think people get a bit too cocky with salaries sometimes. There are some jobs that genuinely require a shitload of money, but yeah most often $100k+ is good money for any individual.

Usually wake up at 7:30 AM. Since I stopped smoking weed, this is mostly because I'm having a vivid and/or disturbing dream and wake up feeling anxious. Haven't slept well lately which isn't good for someone with my mental health stuff, lol. Not gonna reveal my class schedule but I go to a CSE class every day of the week. Actually this is our last week and our final is next Monday. Moderately difficult but I have an A- right now, and I think it's curved so good chance I get an A. Usually go to work for about 4 hour shifts after class and then go home and relax. Not a taxing schedule at the moment, but I've had personal circumstances that make it less enjoyable than it could be. Sounds like you would be enjoyable to work for, Ngata. I've heard some real horror stories about bosses having strict deadlines for projects, gradually creeping on the already defined scope, and then expecting a team to meet the expanded scope with the same deadline without adding more resources. I gotta ask though. When's your "you" time? Getting home at 7 and then waking up again at 2:45 AM? Sounds horrible. No way I could ever accommodate that, my mind would literally scramble within two weeks.

Hmm, I think you're mostly being humorous through this post can't but tell for sure. To clarify, I never thought she lost because she was a woman, I thought she lost because she had a shitty campaign and she thought she was somehow good enough or entitled to the presidency that the quality of her campaign didn't matter. My reservations against her had little to do with her being a woman. Though reading your post again I'm quite sure you were just being humorous, lol.

I realize the likelihood of Clinton running again is nill. But if she runs again, I will absolutely not vote for her if she wins the primary and I don't care what the alternative is. Even if it's fucking Pence, if through some absolutely dumb bullshit Clinton is the Dem candidate I'm not voting for her. It'd be unbelievably dense for the DNC to sabotage to make Hillary the rep again, and to be clear I absolutely think it'd take a complete rigging of the primary system for her to be the candidate in 2020. (I say this having spitefully voted for Hillary against Trump. The way she handled the election and her defeat were pathetic.)

I liked their approach last time where they still had a character for us to follow but didn't focus too much on him. Hopefully it won't be a case of showing that actress off because people love Eleven so much. I saw Sorry to Bother You. Pretty funny, fucking weird and over the top. I liked it. After I left I was thinking of Idiocracy and I think the two are very similar in that over the top satire aspect. Would definitely recommend it but if someone told me they hated it I wouldn't be surprised lol.

I liked It a lot.

What do you guys think about the role of defense contractors in defense spending?

Something I've discussed with my therapist (a parent herself and someone who helps people process childhood trauma) is the role of technology with parents. I'll keep this first post simple for now. She has done work at hospitals before and she has observed mothers doing things on their smartphones while their infants are breastfeeding. The potentially damaging thing about this is that it's a great opportunity for the mother to establish eye contact with her child and start to Foster a connection. Breastfeeding is an intimate process for both mother and child and the early stages of a kid's life can have large effects on how strong of a connection the two have later in life. I'm not sure how prevalent this is but with how addicted people are to their phones (I'm right there with them), I imagine it's not too uncommon. In situations like this, assuming the patterns continue throughout the early years, the lack of strong attachment could impact the willingness of the kid to approach their parent with their curiosity about their emotions. No one knows how to regulate their emotions when they're growing up, and internalizing them (certainly what I did) can lead to some dysregulated and nonsensical behavior. I actually agree that there needs to be a balance. I can see how the other thread would make it seem like I think we need to coddle kids. Not so, I think too much dependence on the parents for emotional support can be damaging. Going off of my experiences, and admittedly biased observations I've made of people who offhandedly spoke of similar childhood circumstances, there are parents who don't really invest in emotional guidance at all. I can share a bit of my own to contextualize. My dad was funny, nice, sometimes awesome but among other issues he was emotionally distant. My mom was very warm on the surface but I lacked a connection to her for some reason. She is highly emotional so it could be that she had some emotional issues when I was very young and those interfered with my attachment to her. The result was that I tried learning things on my own, failed miserably, and went through my teenage years coping and eventually I started intellectualizing my emotions, which isn't a productive approach. I'm not the most emotionally competent person in the world. Just an example of how things can play out. I wasn't abused at all, I'd say that my parents didn't recognize the role they played in guiding and nurturing my emotions when I was young and this is the result. Edit: I will also add that I think once someone is independent of their parents, it's 100% their responsibility to solve whatever issues they've brought with them since their youth. Doesn't mean they have to do it alone, but at that point what's done is done and have to work with the cards we have. That's the spot I'm at right now though that (unfortunately for me) involves processing all those emotions that I ignored for 10+ years. Hence my anger towards my parents, and the irrational tint of some of my posts lately. I think there is sometimes validity to saying "these issues were caused by the environment I grew up in" because in my experience some people internalize that blame and it's not productive to do that, but more so in a matter of fact way that recognizes things for what they were. Vilifying parents for those recovering from trauma is just indulging in dysregulated emotions in a different way and doesn't actually solve anything. The reason I feel angry towards my own is to let myself feel it for the first time in God knows how long, not because I am sitting here pouting about not having the best guidance among other things. I still do my best to look at them as morally complex individuals like anyone else. Too idealized and too demonized of perceptions are both distorted.

Yes, I think I need to take a step back and calm down for a bit too. Too trigger happy with the thoughts that have been bouncing around lately. It's an inevitable stage in going from incompetent to competent but it's not the most pleasant experience in the world.

I don't think that came off like a dick at all. Bware's source about the statistics of transitioning was enough for me to step back and recognize there's still a lot I need to learn about with regards to these procedures and how people experience them. Like I said, I can recognize that I went a bit far and took his post to mean something that it probably didn't, but I strongly think that the way a parent handles this situation will have major impacts on how the person adapts, regardless of if they transition or not. No one will have the same approach but like F4E said, the basic formula is pretty simple... just love and support the kids, sounds like your plan covers that pretty well. At the end of the day what I think about parenting means jack shit to the people who actually have to go about imparting skills and demonstrating understanding to their kids; they have to find what works for them, it's just been my (anecdotal) experience that many people don't handle these things in very effective ways. EDIT: I will also own that I do have a lot of issues with my parents. In fact not too long ago I kind of hit a "gold mine" of emotional turmoil that I'd been pinning down for so long. I don't view my parents as bad people but the flurry of emotions and whatnot that I didn't let myself feel for a long time have made it hard to stay calm, rational, objective, etc. It's on me to keep that in check and I'll try to work on that in the future. No excuse to misrepresent people's arguments or to take things too far, so I apologize.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory?wprov=sfla1 I fully admit I can take things too far like anyone. There are people who make bad decisions with good tools provided to them in their youth. They aren't common, if they were then there would be no credibility to attachment theory which is simply not the case. Effective parenting plays an enormous role in how functional an individual is. They can find ways to cope without it, but it provides obstacles that can be avoided with proper education on how to raise kids (or more specifically, how to connect with and guide each individual child). Parents are shitty when they invalidate a kid's experiences. Take a completely different but still stigmatized concept in pedophilia. What does it accomplish to shame them for having those thoughts? Acting on them? That's sick, it's a crime as it should be and should be heavily punished. I'd reckon most pedophiles don't act on those thoughts, they're just left to deal with them on their own. We can't control how we feel. No one can. Suggesting we should have some form of control over processes in the brain that are still beyond concrete understanding is unreasonable (again, there's a difference between having feelings and acting on them). There are ways to mitigate the intensity of feelings, such as leading a life with strong physical health to reduce the prevalence or severity of mental health symptoms. It seems intuitive to me that gender dysphoria is more complex than working out more or cleaning up sleeping and eating habits. So if a parent comes along and shames their kid for struggling with those thoughts, or for struggling with thoughts about their sexuality, or for struggling with feeling a certain way about anything, yes I think they're bad parents. That's not an effective way to teach people how to constructively process their emotions, which again are a pretty important aspect of being social creatures. I interpreted Favres post as saying that parents don't need to go as far as puberty blockers or sex reassignment surgery, but to validate the kid's experiences so they can explore them with someone they trust. That's effective parenting. I interpreted your post afterwards as saying that they should just deal with it if they grow up in a toxic home, because people have done that for years. My counter to this is that it's ridiculous to suggest people should just put up with toxicity of any kind, especially when there's really no excuse for someone to raise a kid in that kind of environment nowadays. There's not an argument of "well we didn't know the effects of it...", when basically everyone has the Internet and whatever information they want in their pocket, along with online resources that help point people to the solid information.

They've been needlessly doing it because we didn't know any better. Saying we shouldn't fix shitty parenting when it pops up because it's happened throughout history is ridiculous. It is absolutely damaging for parents to treat their kids poorly. For all you say about not wanting irrational emotions deciding things it seems you have no intention of supporting ways to avoid things getting that bad in the first place. A hostile or toxic home environment almost guarantees some form of traumatic response for the kids unless they benefit from like 1 in 100 odds where they don't internalize such circumstances.

Suppose that's a good question, seems like it can easily be arbitrarily defined based on a person's perspective. I had someone on Quora refer to me as an extremist anti-weed advocate because I noted that marijuana addiction is a possibility, whereas they touted an idea that marijuana is 100% harmless. I would define extremism as taking an opinion and attempting to force others to live by that opinion through various means. It could be violence, threats of violence, governance, stigma, etc. Mostly I think it involves forcing one's world views down another's throats.

Been watching highlights of the Twolves summer league action. I really hope Okogie and Bates-Diop get some changes this year. I know that it's the summer league, but they look like they have some potential. Just don't think that Thibs has ever been good at getting younger guys their playing time.

I think one could argue that the latter is a textbook case of the former. Extremism of any form is rooted in inappropriately strong emotional reactions.