Rotten Egg TGP: Rose Pushing For Allowance of Hunger Games-esque "Peeta" Legs

[BwareDWare94 723]

With mounting leg injuries destroying Derrick Rose's career, the point guard has begun a campaign to try and convince the NBA to allow experimental technology known as "Peeta" legs, based on the popular character depicted in Suzanne Collins' Hunger Games trilogy.

The process involved is surgical amputation of the leg just above the knee joint, upon which the mechanical legs would be attached, allowing a brand new knee and ankle joint that can be damaged but could essentially be repaired overnight, contrary to Rose's usual "next gray hair in Pau's beard" timetable.

The one time superstar understands that severe adjustments would need to be made to the "Peeta" legs that would replace both of his current, injury riddled lower limbs. "I can't use them if they allow me to do more than a fully functional human leg could possibly do. I can't be covering the distance of the court at Flash speed, you know," said Rose

 

The manufacturing company is currently at work adjusting the legs to Rose's criteria, and other NBA players, some former and current, are in line for the same product. Names such as Brandon Roy, Greg Oden, Danny Granger, and Tracy McGrady have already surfaced as players interested in getting their Hunger Games on.

Paul George has also expressed interest, but his representatives are actively trying to tell George that there's no guarantee he'd meet Jennifer Lawrence just because of the "Peeta" legs.

 

Edited March 9, 2015 by BwareDWare94

[Thanatos 2,847]

Wow, lol.

 

For two seconds you had me. I forgot the title and I was like wait what, he's going to cut off his legs to play basketball--- Ohhhh.

[BwareDWare94 723]

Glad you liked it, man. Did you see the one about KG?