Weekly Discussion Topic: April 20-26 (Relationship Financials)

[BwareDWare94 723]

This topic came to mind recently, as I've begun a new relationship with a girl who very obviously has relied on past partners financially, at times. She has never even hinted at asking me for the same thing, but I think that's partly because she knows where I'm at in life and that I really couldn't.

 

So I got to thinking, what are a significant other's financial responsibilities when it comes to their partner?

 

I'm fairly old school. I pay for all the givens like gifts and dinners and whatnot. I follow a philosophy of trust when it comes to larger sums of money. If she proves to me that she will pay me back after the first time, I won't hesitate to help out later on, knowing I'll get reimbursed.

 

However, I won't just pay for things like repairs to housing, automobiles, or anything like that. I won't pay credit card bills. I won't, under any circumstances, help someone get out of a financial hole when there's no real commitment to a future together. I don't believe in empty investments. There's no point. I also believe that being too much of a caregiver makes a partner far too comfortable with the idea that you won't leave him or her, and that's just not healthy. It makes it easier for them to consider leaving you.

 

I also don't believe in living together, so I avoid things like split rent with a partner, anyway, because I need my goddamn personal space. Living together just isn't a great idea, imo. It's not healthy.

 

I think people take care of each other to extreme degrees far too willingly.

Edited April 20, 2014 by RagerStarDestroyerofWorlds

[BwareDWare94 723]

Can someone change the topic title to April 20-26? Dammit. I hate when I have typos in titles.

[Piggly Wiggly 960]

[DonovanMcnabb for H.O.F 2,241]

I never have issues paying for the girl I'm with. I couldn't see myself being in a situation where I ask the girl I'm with pay for herself. And if she needs money for something, I give it to her, even if its paying a phone bill or anything.

 

Granted I haven't been around girls who need crazy money from me, and I would hate to. Lol.

[JetsFan4Life 542]

Are dinners and stuff really "givens" anymore? I've talked to/been with a few girls who have said they would go out and not get their meal paid for. Hell, the girl I'm with now had a previous bf who used to actually ask her for gas money. I mean if they should be or not is a different debate but I'm not sure they are even givens anymore.

 

Anyways as far as money I'm probably a little bit looser than I should be. In a relationship I pay for all the as we would say givens. As far as money for other things like car repairs I've done it before, but not a crazy amount or anything like that. It's part of my personality to lend money to a girlfriend or really good friends who may need it. Only difference is with the girlfriends I sometimes don't expect them to pay me back. Really depends on the situation.

[Bucman 891]

If you getting married and living together like the thread states, they had better be paying for half or at last some.

[Zack_of_Steel+ 3,014]

I'm very loose with my money when it comes to others. I paid for a lot of shit in my last relationship that I probably didn't need to, but I was committed to her and I wanted to help. Shit, even after I broke up with her and basically kicked her out of our new apartment I gave her $500 to help her find a place/possibly move to Denver. I probably shouldn't have, but I didn't need the money and I wanted to help.

 

When I was younger I used to always pay for smaller things for friends of mine that were girls, even if I wasn't getting anything from them or trying to date them. Coffee, random drinks/snacks, cheaper meals. With guy friends we'd always just get eachother back.

 

In my current relationship, I've spent a ton of money on debt that isn't mine and in 2012 spent $3,000 to take her, her parents, my dad, my brother, and one of my friends to the Steelers/Broncos SNF season opener. We each pay half of the living expenses and we combine our money for the most part.

 

I worked for a year while I told my girlfriend to finish her last year of college. During that time I paid all of our expenses, made payments for her school loans, et cetera. In return, she took care of the house and has supported me through (currently) about 3 months of unemployment after I quit my job.

 

 

 

I don't see any of it as wasted money. I could've probably used the money and definitely could use it now, but if I'm helping someone out or doing something kind for someone else, I think it's worth it. As long as your partner is willing to reciprocate and put forth the same type of kindness, that's all that matters, really. Even if my girlfriend and I break up, I won't look at it as wasted money because she's done a lot for me, even if it didn't have a dollar sign attached to it.

Edited April 21, 2014 by Zack_of_Steel