Weekly Discussion Topic: May 11-17 (Depression)

[BwareDWare94 723]

This week's topic is Depression. Feel free to discuss any experiences you've had with the varying degrees of depression, in your lives. I'm making a change to the threads, this week. I'll post my experiences and thoughts, later on. I've had a feeling that my tl;dr posts at the beginning of these threads has turned people away.

 

FTR, the votes aren't public this week as it's a touchy subject.

Edited May 14, 2014 by BwareDWare94

[Thanatos 2,847]

So this one I can speak to both as a friend and as a victim.

 

One of my friends called me about two months back. I was coming back from meeting with friends. Something immediately seemed off. She is normally cheerful and she seemed to want to reminiscence about old stories with sad little laughs inbetween. You'd have to know her to understand how ridiculously odd this was. She then said goodbye and hung up the phone.

 

I am so glad that I made the choice I did that night. I thought I was just being paranoid, but the way she said goodbye struck me as very final. I called her folks after having a two minute internal conversation about whether to call them, (she was still living with them at the time), even though it was about 1 AM, and told them about the convo and asked them to check. Her mom was a bit grumpy at first, but she went in.

 

She was in their shower literally about to slit her wrists. Hearing her mom go in, then screaming and crying about "What are you about to do?" well it was tough to hear that one of my friends thought this was her only real option left, but I knew where she was because I nearly went there myself.

 

I don't talk about it much, but I have a slipped disk in my back from a motorbiking accident. For three years, from 20-23, I was basically partially disabled. Anything I did that involved lifting *anything* or moving in a funny way, or shooting hoops sent constant pain through my back and down my left leg, (disk was pushing on a nerve). It started to really get to me and I really started to wonder whether I would ever have a pain-free day again. The constant pain just becomes a dull ache at a certain point.

 

I definitely thought about suicide a few times. It sounds silly looking back on it. I could still function, but the thought of living another sixty+ years with constant pain would get me extremely down.

 

Gaming actually really helped with the whole thing. I could sit in a chair somewhat comfortably, so I played a lot of games over that period of time and it helped as an escape. But it was a friend of mine who kicked me in the ass and got me up and exercising a lot, as she correctly pointed out that without exercise the muscles in that area would always be weak and would be prone to being re-injured. Having a workout partner really helped, (and not gonna lie, the fact that it was a girl I found attractive helped even more so).

 

If you ever get a phonecall from someone, please don't just shrug it off. The worst thing that could happen is that they are fine, and the friend/family member gets woken up from sleep that night. You could also save their life.

Edited May 14, 2014 by Thanatos19

[RazorStar 4,025]

People probably depend too much on pills to fight depression. As far as I understand, nearly everyone goes through these low points in life. With all things though, the important thing when fighting depression is to have the right mental state to fight it off. I have my own bouts of depression, and I've accepted that my social circle isn't really the best guide rail to get me through it. When I think about the things that get me through the rough patches, I'm sure other people have positive stories that get them through things, but I can only think about how angry I am at society. That everyone and everything wants me dead, including my own head while I haven't done anything worth jack shit. That I haven't been able to realize my value. Just by keeping those angry thoughts in my head, I've been able to stave off those attempts at killing myself.

 

I can deeply empathize with other people who go through depression, because to an outsider it really is just hard to explain. All of a sudden you just feel like you're suffocating in your own skin and no one can help you, because you still look the same in the mirror and to everyone else. From the few times I've been forced to go to counseling for my problems I learned that I have triggers for my depression, and they make sense to me. One of my coping mechanisms, as terrible as it seems is to stop caring so damn much about others and what they're doing. I basically distance myself from others so my empathy doesn't make me feel worse than I already do.

 

I'm also aware in my case that it's not a permanent thing, I just get really low when I hit my lows, kind of like a sinusoid wave that's been shifted down. Some people have to constantly deal with that shit though, and it's really unpleasant. Or people who are just manic depressive, who have super high highs in addition, which is even worse because it's a roller coaster ride of emotions and falling from those highs completely shatters you.

 

Basically in short: Depression is real, Depression can't just be snapped out of, Depression is a constant battle, you need to have a way to combat it.

[blotsfan 2,112]

From what I read, depression is often caused by physical issues with your brain, so I don't see how taking pills isn't an ok solution.

[RazorStar 4,025]

Pills are like damping functions, they fuck with your brain and it always runs the risk of doing more harm then good. It's treating the symptoms instead of treating the root cause of depression.

[GA_Eagle 595]

I've never head the kind of depression I think of as medically treatable. People get sad/ depressed for all sorts of reasons, and that's normal and can sometimes even lead to severe actions but I didn't think that was necessarily something that was treatable with pills, more of a situation in which counseling or if we're talking about normal level of sadness, maybe just normal coping techniques (throwing things, crying, time alone - whatever works for you) will work.

 

I always thought of real depression as something more than having the blues over something that happened like a break up or a death or something else sad or stressful, at least the kind people should be taking pills for. I can't say that I've ever had that. Everyone gets sad over stuff but I was always under the impression that most will get over it without becoming really depressed, at least not clinically depressed.

Edited May 14, 2014 by GA_Eagle

[BwareDWare94 723]

I've been very lucky throughout most of my life in that I don't deal with real, lasting periods of depression, but like everybody I'm not completely free of bad times and stretches. Fortunately, I've figured out most of my triggers. Exhaustion, for example--when I'm drastically tired I hit low points, but at this point in my life I realize when that's the case and just get some sleep. Easiest fix I have, for my triggers. Others involve my place in life, and I think a lot of people have these triggers around my age (25) if they haven't reached some of their personal goals and go through regular existential crises. Anyway, my trigger, in this case, is when I make mistakes at my jobs. My jobs are very simple. When I mess things up, break tools (when I could have avoided it), etc--I can hit some very low spots, then, too. We all make mistakes at our occupations. For me, however, my jobs are so simple that every time I do make a mistake, it was entirely preventable and easily something that shouldn't have happened, so I go through this little crisis involving my competence and the whole "is this the best I can do with my life?" feeling. It never lasts all that long unless I'm tired, but like I said.

And I think dating can lead to moments of severe self doubt that can spiral into spurts of depressive behavior and feelings. As Steven Wright once said, "Dating changed me in a many ways. For instance, I never once thought of suicide before I started dating." For me, I date a bit, and tend to not have any real issues getting myself chances with girls I want to date, but I've been on such a long drought from real, committed relationships that I always end up wondering if there's something wrong with me that I'm not seeing every time a girl or I breaks something off. I mean, I'm not that guy out there begging for commitment or anything. Having fun is great, but when things never develop past that it can be disheartening. I usually can avoid these spurts and spirals, but every now and then it can really send me into a hole for a few days/weeks.

I don't do well with people fucking with my head (girls, especially) so that can really take me down. My most depressed point in my life was partially because of a bitch and other things in my personal life and I ended up going to counseling. Best decision I've ever made. Taught me coping mechanisms in bad moments and really opened my eyes to how easily people fall into codependent tendencies. I wasn't bad for codependency--my counselor brought the codependency expert in for one session and he declared me an individual that doesn't need to be to worried about falling into those habits, but it's still something that everybody should be aware of because you can fall in without realizing it.

Anyway, like I said I'm a pretty lucky individual but depression runs on one side of my family so I'm always on the lookout for signs and when they come, I figure out a solution, get it fixed, and move forward.