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Thanatos

Guys I need some serious fucking advice

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I told yall a few weeks back about my college friend that got COVID and died in 3 days. Well, his wife got it as well, (unlike him, she had multiple pre-existing conditions, which is why he was doing the shopping in the first place) presumably from him, and she had severe complications from it. They thought she was getting over it and then I get a call  out of the blue yesterday (she had put me as her emergency contact- unbeknownst to me) that they had found her non responsive and rushed her to the hospital. She never regained consciousness. They're not sure what happened, they thought she was through the worst of it, it was some sort of problem with pneumonia.

Here is where the advice comes in.

The reason why I was listed as her emergency contact is because they have literally no one. Her parents are dead, his parents gave him up for adoption and he went through the foster system and never bothered to find them. Neither set of grandparents are alive. Her only brother is dead, and he was an only child. I mean, they have friends, but we were pretty close and his wife and I had talked a lot over the past few weeks. I don't know if she had any really close friends, (I would assume she did, but the fact that she made me her emergency contact makes me wonder if she did).

This is the issue. They have a kid. A 3 year old. His name is Cooper and I met him about a year ago before this all started.

I am seriously considering trying to adopt him. I feel like I am nuts for considering it, but I cannot shake the feeling that I should do it. I know my friend had horror stories about going through the foster system and I know he'd never want his kid to face that. My fiancee and I have a big enough house, we have two stable jobs, we are doing ok on income, (setting aside about $1k/mo atm for savings while overpaying for the mortgage to get it paid off faster and Im sure we could tighten things up a bit more). I have no kids atm, and my fiancee has PCOS so its far less likely she'd ever be able to have kids. (Not by any means impossible, just would be much harder.)

This has come out of the blue like lightning, because this has all happened so fast. A month ago I wasn't even thinking about this. Hell, I wasn't thinking about it two days ago. I am terrified that if I do this I'd be horrible at it, but I keep telling myself that I can't possibly be worse than sending the kid to the foster system. Of course the other issue is I barely know the kid. He seemed to like me, but I mean, he was 2. They like everyone. 

Am I completely crazy for considering adopting a kid I basically met once? Am I entirely overthinking this and I should absolutely do it?

Any advice at all would be appreciated.

Edited by Thanatos

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For one, I'm really sorry, that's just an awful situation.

People literally travel to another continent to adopt kids so only meeting the kid once should be fine. 

For one: talk to your fiancee. This is obvious, but i didn't want it to be left unsaid. 

As far as if you'd do a good job, I'm almost 100% certain you'd be better than the kid bouncing around the foster system for the next 15 years. Obviously it'd be a lot of work, but I'm sure you could figure it out. Every parent justness started out at some point.

i don't mean to undersell the responsibility adopting a kid is, but if your only concern is whether you'd mess up the kid or not, I'd tell you you probably won't.

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End of the day, it's gonna be up to you and your fiance. 

It seems like your financial and home situation is stable (and even if it wasn't, life, uh, finds a way).  If you guys were looking to have kids in the future then this seems like the perfect situation, even though the events surrounding it suck.  More often than not, things have a way of working out.

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I sat my fiancee down and told her the whole situation. She sat there and thought about it for a long time, and then she looked at me and said "Well when are you going to go get him?" I kinda laughed and she said Zack would haunt me from the afterlife if I didnt step in. I asked if she was sure, and she said we have the perfect situation here to try.

So I guess we're doing this thing. I'll keep anyone interested updated in here.

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I'd love to hear any updates you post on this. You'll do a great job. 

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Curious to hear any updates if you have them. You're a fucking hero for trying to pull this off and give that kid a home. 

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Currently going through the system. I think they're going to let me, its just a matter of paperwork, money, and time.

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