The Life Philosophy Thread

[BC 331]

Seeing as we're mostly all in the 18-25 age range, those transitional, self-discovery moments are frequently happening for many of us as we are trying to get to where we need to go. This leads me to ask you all the following questions.

 

1. What answers are you currently trying to gain in life, be it relationship stuff, family stuff, or career path, etc?

2. On what premises do you govern your decision-making?

 

Be unspecific where you need to be, describing just enough to lead to the point of discussion where you are in need of making a certain type of decision, and what montra you are planning on using to make these choices. Avoid attacking other's religious beliefs if they choose to disclose them.

 

For me, I'm a freshly graduated college student with no set career, no ring on my finger, and not being tied down to hardly anything. It's an awful lot of unknown, to be honest, and the unknown is intimidating, yet it is also where we discover life's greatest rewards. I am working a job, however, I don't believe it will be something that I stick with. While it is making some money in the process, which I badly needed being fresh out of the college doors staring a long life ahead of me in the face with many needs, it is a job where I unfortunately disprove of a bit of the structure, some of the people's comments, and the organization of management and power. It is also something I am passionate about doing, so a lot of the things I stand on have been a little contradictory. Hence the thread creation. I've been doing some praying, quit almost all of my bad habbits, and have tried to put myself in a place where I can be lead to where I belong. Unfortunately, not all questions are answered. I often look at friends' life philosophies and have been asking them about how they making their decisions to stay or leave certain situations, and why they value what they do to the point where it makes them stay or leave.

[BwareDWare94 723]

1. Currently, I'm trying to get myself settled in one place, more than anything. My two jobs are 60 miles apart, and while that's not a bad thing because I get a break from each location, I'd really like to just pick one and let it fly. If I remain in my hometown, I'd need to find steady winter work (there are lots of seasonal jobs in small ag. towns). If I remain in my college town, I essentially have to give up farming and raising cattle (which I absolutely don't want to do). I have time to make the decision, but I'm also just waiting for it to decide itself, as many things in life do. We have less control than we realize.

 

I'm fine on the relationships front. I had a C U Next Tuesday fuck with my head for about 6 months last year, but I ditched her. Then I tried it out with a girl who ended up being batshit crazy, so I bailed on her, too. I've just stopped looking, but not in the non-observant way. I'm a big believer in letting things happen.

 

As far as family goes, I'm trying to decide if I'm willing to bail on this area altogether to try out a new place, but I'm so close to my family, particularly my nephews and my cousins in the area, that I just can't fathom a scenario where I don't get to spend time with these people on a weekly to monthly basis, so my head says, "No. You're probably going to be here."

 

2. My decision making is based on what's best for me, and that's mostly tied to the people surrounding me. I can find work--I live in North Dakota--if you can't find work here, you're not looking. I just let my head go where it immediately goes and then proceed from there. If I think I want something over something else, I'm right. I'm very, very laid back, a day-by-day kind of person. There is a bigger picture, but I'm not going to base my decisions on ten, twenty, or thirty years from now. Obviously, there are some exceptions like saving money, but I'm talking about overall.

 

Philosophically, I firmly believe that life is what it is, whenever it is, and that dwelling on what has already happened or might not even happen is absolutely absurd. I also believe that maintaining our humanity is a losing battle, at the moment, with all of these people glued to their phone, computer, or tablet screens 24/motherfucking7. I might post on here daily. I might send a text or two daily, but there's no way in Hell I'd be happy if I spent more than a total of an hour or two on my electronic devices a day. The only time I exceed that is when we're all watching a game or I'm writing a story.

 

I think we need to fight to regain our independence, and I feel like people should watch this video:

 

[DonovanMcnabb for H.O.F 2,241]

^That was a great video. Good stuff.

[seanbrock 1,684]

My life philosophy? Simple, two words...fuck it. Works on a couple levels. Fuck being forced to follow the rules and conform and it's also just kind of like that whole hakuna matata easy going attitude.

[Socal 524]

With a life philosophy like "fuck it", hopefully later in life you won't be saying, "fuck me"

[GA_Eagle 595]

My life philosophy? Simple, two words...fuck it. Works on a couple levels. Fuck being forced to follow the rules and conform and it's also just kind of like that whole hakuna matata easy going attitude.

 

It also works on the "If it moves,(insert life philosophy)" level.

[Sarge+ 3,436]

[southgadawg 52]

Let me see.

 

In my mind to know where you are going it is also important to know where you have been. To start with I am definitely NOT in the aforementioned age group (and I will eventually get to my age later in the thread) but I most certainly remember some of the things that were going on in my life during that time frame (so I will summarize some of it below):

 

 

After high school graduation I had attended UGA where I received a BBA in Business Management. I had already decided that I had no real desire to go back to the rural town where I grew up and instead wanted "the best" that life had to offer. However even though I played the field quite a bit in college (at that time was sorta pre-Aids scare and roughly 17k female to 10k male at UGA) I ended up marrying a hometown girl before my senior year was even up. Both of us were raised in church but we weren't living the life that we were taught for sure. I wanted to make a lot of money and have it all so I tried various things in the business world but unfortunately I never felt comfortable with some of the ethics (or lack of) that I saw in the business world in the late 80's. Eventually after a few years my wife and I decided that we wanted children but the town we lived in was full of racial tension, drug inspired violence and a high sense of "I don't want to work for a living". We decided to move closer (within 60 miles) to the rural hometown where we grew up to better enable both sets of grandparents to help on a limited basis with the children. The job market was mainly limited to agricultural, manufacturing (lol those are mostly gone now aren't they?), retail, or in the medical field. I had gotten bored already while working in manufacturing management and got a decent offer working in retail (based on cost of living in the area it would work at least). I liked the changing daily challenges, the dealing with people (both the customer and my fellow worker) and the excitement. It fit me much better than manufacturing and I saw that eventually based on what I thought my skill set was I could do well enough.

 

Years later I changed companies to another retail firm and was making very good money for the area. I had two children but life was going to take another change for me. My marriage had been up and down for it's twelve year life. It was plain that my wife didn't want to stay married to me. It also later became plain that she didn't always pay the bills like she had written down in the checkbook either. This was a big switch for me. I had paid cash for my first car purchase (at the age of 15!). I even managed through diligence to have over $5,000 dollars left over AFTER I had paid for college. But perhaps my earlier desires to live the good life made me forget that you have to be diligent with the money even though sometimes you seem to have plenty. The marriage was over. I tried to stay in it as long as I could for the kid's sake but when someone tries to stab you, tries to hit you in the head with a shovel in front of your young kids and also gives you a concussion with a cast iron skillet in another instance you don't want to expose them to that sort of violence. I did care deeply for my wife and I wanted her to seek help, but it didn't happen while we were together. Through God's grace I was able to get custody of the two kids.

 

My life was in ruins and admittedly I was in shambles myself (distraught, demoralized and dejected). Things had not worked out as I planned and I was beyond broke. I even had to move back in with my parents because I could not afford to keep the house, pay the utilities and everything for the kids. The kids were far more important. I had even made the mistake before the last year of marriage in stepping down at work and taking a 17,000 pay cut in the desire of trying to save my marriage. She just didn't want to stay married. Personally I was thrilled I was able to get the kids, but besides that I was at the lowest point of my life.

 

Thankfully I devoted myself fully back to God or I don't know how I would have made it through this stage. I was living with my parents and had them as sorta built in baby sitters. I decided to get myself back into shape (eventually losing over 50 pounds and getting my abs back in my mid-30's). My psyche was still a wreck though imho. I got some back into the dating game but most of it was empty relationships full of shallow promise. I began to pray that God would bring a good Christian woman into my life for both a companion and as a good role model for my two kids (one of which was a daughter). I had dated several women close to my age and even a few older ones, simply from the fact that I wanted a mature acting woman who wasn't shallow nor one who placed a high value on material items (lol remember I was beyond broke). I never saw what happened coming.

 

Someway unbeknownst to me I had an admirer. Not just in the way that I looked (at this point I was running and /or working out virtually everyday) but in the way I handled myself, and my way with kids. I had this young woman more or less ask me out shocking me. I actually knew this young lady some but had never thought about her as a potential date. I just knew she was country acting, very polite and friendly. She was also almost 13 years younger than I was. At some thought I accepted and we began dating. I think her parents were a bit hesitant of me at first since I was so much older (I know mine were hesitant of her since she was younger). But in the end we have all become a very close knit bunch since we were married 13 years ago.

 

Life has certainly changed since our marriage. Both some ups and downs. My daughter was only 6 when my 2nd wife and I were married. At age 11 she was diagnosed with Alopecia and lost the majority of her hair even going as far as to wear a wig for awhile (thankfully months later she showed great improvement). Three weeks later my father died after losing his battle with an incurable disease. In his life he had a kidney AND a liver transplant as well as 46 OTHER major operations. But he seldom complained and always demonstrated a "can-do" attitude. My job went well and I recieved several promotions. I cannot say I wasn't blessed. At one time I supervised approximately 500 people and the business unit I was over was doing roughly $100 million a year. Besides that God gave me the opportunity to talk to others ever single day. I was making enough money that my wife didn't have to work (and approximately 4x the avg. median wage for the area). We also had 3 more boys to raise. I had even started to garden a little in my free time starting a small hobby farm on our land. Life was good even with the inherent work related stress.

 

But there was another change coming. My health had for some reason started going rapidly downhill the last few years. None of my doctors could put an exact finger on it so they tried to treat the symptoms. I had experienced several bouts more or less related to my lungs and breathing through the years that had required hospitalization. Each year it seemed to get worse and worse and last longer and longer. I would hack and cough almost unceasingly. In spring of 2011 I suffered an episode that required me to have an extended stay in the hospital and since that time I have not yet fully recovered. None of the doctors will approve me to work...and believe me I tried for a long time. I have no stamina, cough cough cough all day long, and at times experience dizziness and weak spells. I have been to specialist after specialist. Still they don't have any answers even after test after test. At first the insurance company providing LTD for my past company didn't want to pay and at one time we went three months with no income. Not an easy thing for a family of five. Thankfully there were some who helped us and it seemed that no matter how bad things were God made sure that things got taken care of just in time. We still haven't had my last social security hearing (praying that goes well---I will admit that it puzzles me sometimes though to see people who claim to be disabled living rich vibrant lives that I could only dream about).

 

At first it was extremely difficult for me to stay home. I had a hard time wrapping my head around it for sure. You don't work 60+ hours a week for years and then just stay home. But someway God helped me and although we have had to make a HUGE amount of changes I can say that I am thankful for the time that I now get to spend with my family and the chances I have to see my kids more. Some one did ask me once how did I handle being in such a position of authority and changing to one where I was at home all the time. My answer I think suprised them. "God had me in one position that he wanted me. Hopefully I did a good job for him there. Now God has me in another position and hopefully I will do what he wants me to do now."

 

Now my goals for the future: To raise up my children to become righteous in the eyes of the Lord. To show my wife how much I love and appreciate her each and every day. To thank the Lord for the things he has blessed me with. To take one day at a time.

 

My life is simple now. I guess my point of this post is that there is absolutely nothing wrong with attempting to plan out your life. Just expect some curveballs to come your way on more than one occasion. Hopefully you took time to read this...believe it or not this IS the short version lol. Oh and I am just shy of 50 years old.

Edited August 17, 2013 by southgadawg

[BUCK3Y3 44]

Family. I focus on my family. My daughter above all else. It's a tired saying, but LIFE IS SHORT. You get one chance. You can choose to spend your time worrying about shit or living your life to the fullest. You should always make time for shit you enjoy. You should always make time for people you care about.

Edited August 19, 2013 by BUCK3Y3