I can't sleep in my bed when I'm home alone.

[Maverick 791]

 

I contemplated putting this in the 'Confession' thread because I'm not proud of it, but it's an issue I'm struggling with so I thought it'd get more activity as its own thread.

 

I've always lived at home with my parents. I never went away to college or anything like that. Every now and then my parents will stay a couple nights at their beach condo and if I don't have my fiancee or friend staying over, I'm probably in for a rough night of sleep - or lack thereof.

 

When I'm home alone, sleeping in my own bed is not an option. I sleep on the couch in the living room and try to watch TV until I pass out from exhaustion. Sometimes I'll get lucky and sleep peacefully (usually from a night of drinking lol) but most times that's not the case. When I finally manage to fall asleep, I'll wake up throughout the night and panic thinking somebody is trying to break in. Then my heart starts racing at every little sound I hear. If I'm really lucky such as last night I'll even have nightmares of a break-in which only helps my anxiety. I'll fall back asleep eventually, but then repeat that process multiple times throughout the night.

 

If I had to act as a therapist on my situation, I've been corrupted by horror movies. Even though I was terrified of them, I was constantly watching horror movies growing up. I've had similar issues when I was younger. This is really embarrassing, but I slept on my parents' bedroom floor til I was about 12. I live in a very safe neighborhood and I've never been the victim of a break-in before so it's not like I have a reason to constantly be fearful. Sleeping on the couch makes me feel better because I'm close to the front door and could theoretically get away. I've tried making myself sleep in my bed, but I don't sleep. I'll just have mini panic attacks whether it's from a noise I hear or my imagination of someone trying to break in. I've tried sleeping with fans, radio, etc, but then I don't like being unable to hear anything if something does happen.

 

Has anyone experienced this or have any advice? It's really sad that a 23 year old is struggling with anxiety over something like this, but I just can't overcome it. I hope I'm not scarred for life from horror films from my childhood if that is the leading cause behind this.

[RazorStar 4,025]

I get sleep anxiety. Nowhere near as frequently as you it seems, but it's more like my brain panics whenever I try to shut it down. I am in no position to offer good advice, just what works for me, and that's wearing myself out to the point of physical exhaustion. When you're super tired, you will just pass out.

[BradyFan81 404]

Just curious, what are some of the movies that you think may have scarred you? I used to have sleep anxiety but it was more because of ghosts/demons from scary movies id seen. Amityville Horror, The Exorcist and The Shining scared the shit out of me.I was pretty young tho

 

Do you have a dog? Most dogs would freak the fuck out if someone tried to get in, so that's kind of like its own house alarm that makes it so you can just relax. Your brain is too active and on alert which is why you can't fall asleep.

 

You could always buy a home security system as well if you can't fix this yourself.

 

It could also be that you just haven't been home alone enough and it's something where all you need to do is keep doing it and eventually you'll be much better. The more you do something you're almost guaranteed to get better at it.

Edited April 6, 2015 by RevisFan81

[Maverick 791]

Suspense-type horror films such as Halloween, Friday the 13th, Texas Chainsaw, etc. I've never been afraid of ghosts/demons. I do have a dog, but she's upstairs with me. We keep the basement door shut and locked (it's only a one floor house with a finished basement). That may be part of the problem, too. My mind is constantly wondering what's going on downstairs. I could try leaving that open one time and seeing if that helps. Maybe that will have a positive effect on my mind in the idea of the basement isn't completely shut off to me and it's essentially part of the upstairs.

 

I don't know...I could be grasping at straws there haha. I hope you're right with your last point. Eventually, I'd like to think that as I'm home alone more often that I'll just become more comfortable. There's already been some progression from the first few times they've gone away. It used to happen every night whereas now it just happens most times lol.

[Favre4Ever+ 4,476]

Ya.. Honestly I think the only way you are going to get through it is just by doing it. My brother had a similar issue with scary movies back when he was.. uhhh.. 8? I think. My parents put up with him having to be with somebody or with them for a while, but eventually just said, "No". They made him sleep on his own, but they would check on him every X number of minutes and he eventually just got used to it.

I was going to suggest using a radio or what not, but.. It seems as if you've tried that. I would just suggest to try to keep the hour or so before you think you are going to bed as stress free and routine oriented as possible. Really take the time to relax, let everything go, and kind of prepare yourself to be whisked away into the hands of morpheus...

Good luck.

[BwareDWare94 723]

The crazy thing about anxieties like this is that you'll never consider that other people have these exact same fears, but we do. I was crippled by fear of the dark due to seeing one of the Child's Play movies as a young kid. I bet I couldn't sleep alone until I was at least 12.

I'm a lot like you--so long as other people are in the house I'm perfectly fine. I do fine at my apartment by myself, too, but at the farm, I have to settle in the house (by that, I mean get established reading a book or doing something I normally do at night) before I can even think about sleeping.

I was going to suggest sleeping with a fan on or the TV before you mentioned it in a later paragraph. I'd say force yourself to allow that for a few nights and see if you get used to it. House sounds are some of the creepiest things you'll ever hear, but you'll hear them in every house, and hiding those sounds is exactly what that fan or the TV is for. They don't mean anything remotely ominous, so why not drown them out with other noise? Just try to remind yourself that any sound you'd hear would just be a normal house sound, and keep that fan on. If there's a lock on the door to your room, use it. I find that that helps me a lot when I'm alone at the house (I lock my room at my apartment, too).

 

My next bit of advice has helped me greatly. Read a book until your eyes start to burn. It doesn't take nearly as long as you'd think if you're already tired. Maybe one chapter, if that. As soon as that happens, throw the mark in there, hit the lights, and let sleep take you.

 

You're not alone at all, dude. I know a lot of people who can't sleep in pitch black (only way I can sleep, usually) and have some sort of fear of the dark.

Edited April 6, 2015 by BwareDWare94

[Sarge+ 3,436]

You could try melatonin. This isn't really that weird though, so you shouldn't feel bad.

[Vin+ 3,121]

So this is why you're getting married.

[Cherry 1,302]

Thinking it over I didn't really think I had any problems with falling asleep, but one of the biggest things that works for me (we've done it since I was about 5, when we moved in) is having the laundry room light on. It makes it seem like even though there is nobody up, the house is still "awake". I would suggest a dog, but it seems you've already got that going for you. Even having a simple "night-light" in your sight can help. Try leaving a small lamp or overhead light on (mine is the laundry room & overhead kitchen sink light).

 

Odd story, actually. About a month or two ago I wasn't able to sleep due to my brain basically saying "nope you're not tired yet". I came into the living room to watch some cartoons, and my dog came in and laid down beside me (myself on the couch, her on the floor.) About 15 minutes into my show the motion light flips on outside. I don't think anything of it because raccoons and shit like to run past the porch on occasion, and on some nights it's so windy it flips on anyways.

 

My dog trots up to the door and nudges the curtain back. Immediately starts flipping the fuck out barking and growling. I get up and walk over expecting a racoon or fox and I see some guy hauling ass down the yard running towards a car with it's lights off. Dude hops in and they gun it as my mom gets to the living room. First time someone has fucked with our house in 11(?) Years. Definitely made me more comfortable with the house knowing that nothing was coming in. If you have a dog that barks or growls, you're probably ahead already, even if you feel unsafe. As I said, that's the first time in 11 years (I'm in a safe area as well) that someone has tried to break in or something. With those long odds, any form of deterrent puts your house on lockdown.

 

As to stuff inside the house, try watching a TV series of some sort on Netflix. Keeps you entertained until you doze off, and it makes you more focused on entertainment than creepy sounds. Don't know if this would help either but I usually listen to Pandora Comedy Radio stations every night when I'm dozing off. Not as bland as normal music radio, and not as consuming as TV. Allows your mind to kind of focus in and relax while still keeping your eyes closed.

Edited April 6, 2015 by Chernobyl426

[BwareDWare94 723]

Some people like light, as Chernobyl said, but if you're like me and hate shadows, pitch black is the way to go. You'd think total darkness would be more frightening, but sometimes it's just better to not have anything that your eyes can be drawn to.

 

Last but not least, try not to let your over-tired mind convince you that something's going on. The last time I stayed at the farm by myself, I couldn't sleep that night but eventually fell into half sleep and woke up after a freaky dream convinced I'd seen a shadow on my wall from someone walking in front of my door (there was a light on outside the room). I also thought lights had flashed in through the window from somebody driving into the yard. I laid in my bed shaking with my heart racing for about an hour before I finally realized I'd been dreaming. This is exactly why pitch black is better. Leaving lights on outside the room, etc, can cause you to think of watching the doorway and then when you actually fall asleep your mind goes haywire.

 

Freakiest night of my life.

[Maverick 791]

Chern, thanks for telling me about your potential break-in story even though you live in a safe neighborhood. That will make me feel better lol.

 

Thanks for all the replies. Leaving a light on in a room is actually a good shout, Chern. I'll report back to this thread next time I'm on my own and let you know how it went.

[Cherry 1,302]

Chern, thanks for telling me about your potential break-in story even though you live in a safe neighborhood. That will make me feel better lol.

 

Thanks for all the replies. Leaving a light on in a room is actually a good shout, Chern. I'll report back to this thread next time I'm on my own and let you know how it went.

Lol well for it not actually turning into anything and happening once in 11 years, I figured it might be somewhat enlightening lol. Odds are slim to none.

 

I actually did it to just scare you...

Edited April 7, 2015 by Chernobyl426

[CampinWithaMissingPerson 2,025]

My man Mavs got the best excuse to get girls into his bed of all time