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Tridentdawgpound

Corrupt-A-Wish

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Here's how it works. Poster one posts something they wish for. Poster two grants them that wish, but with one huge exception. Example:

 

"I wish I could fly!"

 

"Granted. You can fly but you break your legs every time you land."

 

I'll start: I wish Johnny Manziel was released.

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granted, but he signs with Cincinnati, who then realizes that Andy Dalton has reached his ceiling and gives Manziel a shot, Manziel plays far too well to not keep him as the starter and he goes on to beat the Browns twice a year for the rest of his long career

 

I'll just go with the classic: I wish I had a million dollars

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granted, but he signs with Cincinnati, who then realizes that Andy Dalton has reached his ceiling and gives Manziel a shot, Manziel plays far too well to not keep him as the starter and he goes on to beat the Browns twice a year for the rest of his long career

 

I'll just go with the classic: I wish I had a million dollars

Granted, but you won it in a lawsuit settlement which made you a quadriplegic for the rest of your life. All of it went to medical expenses and you're now you're still in a massive amount of debt because their lawyers were much better than yours.

 

I really want the Eagles to win the Super Bowl.

Edited by seanbrock

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The Eagles will finally win a Super Bowl, but only because they paid off the refs which was uncovered by Jerry Jones' team of lawyers. As a result Goodell suspends the Eagles entire organization for five years.

 

I wish for two more wishes. :smug:

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You get two more wishes, but lose any and all ways to communicate.

 

I wish it would rain.

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I wish it would rain too...and flood your house and destroy all your cattle and farming equipment.

 

I wish sean was banned.

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I wish it would rain too...and flood your house and destroy all your cattle and farming equipment.

 

I wish sean was banned.

Granted, by some kind of blood magic voodoo miracle, the Cowboys win the division and I have to leave TGP, but then I buy TGP and ban you.

 

I wish I had a lifetime supply of Marijuana.

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Granted, but then the DEA shows up at your door and puts you in jail for the rest of your life.

 

I wish I could fuck Katy Perry.

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You can, but you have to go right after John Mayer, and god knows where he's been.

 

I wish I had a bright future.

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You can, but you have to go right after John Mayer, and god knows where he's been.

 

I wish I had a bright future.

 

Wish granted, you are now en route on a one-way trip to the sun. :D

 

I wish I could get a job in the journalism field.

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Wish granted, you are now en route on a one-way trip to the sun. :D

 

I wish I could get a job in the journalism field.

Granted, your first assignment: following the Norwegian Male Nudist Mountain Climbing Club (NMNMCC) and chronicling their year-long journey climbing the world's tallest mountains for an article series in Climbing Magazine

 

I wish I was Batman

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Granted, your first assignment: following the Norwegian Male Nudist Mountain Climbing Club (NMNMCC) and chronicling their year-long journey climbing the world's tallest mountains for an article series in Climbing Magazine

 

I wish I was Batman

 

Unfortunately for you, you're a genetic wonder, born with bat wings and a really goofy looking head.

 

I wish I was a sprint car driver.

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Granted, but you run over some guy.

 

I wish Fredi Gonzalez got on a Malaysian Airlines flight

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Ok, but the plane lands at it's destination only one hour late. (C'mon, it's an airline).

 

I wish I was a little bit taller.

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Granted. Enjoy that extra 1/64th of an inch.

 

I wish I had unlimited power over the universe that I could control perfectly.

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Perfectly according to ADOLF HITLER!

 

I wish I could bone Kate Upton.

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granted, Kate Upton needs an arm transplant and Justin Verlander rips yours off. Bone in.

 

I wish I was a baller.

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You are, both in the basketball and getting laid fields. Unfortunately, you've contracted every strain of HPV.

 

I wish Florida Georgia Line didn't exist

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Florida Georgia Line mysteriously disappears...

 

Noticing the new opening, Nickelback releases their first country album.

 

 

 

I wish Peyton Manning would retire. :smug:

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Granted, and the Broncos start a multiple decade long search for a decent QB

 

I wish I had a dog

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You do. His name is Cujo.

 

I wish that the Twilight series was never written.

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It's not, but a similar story about a super attractive and dour werewolf becomes obscenely popular instead.

 

I wish I could eat cheese without having to shit.

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Done and done, except you don't have to shit because you're perpetually constipated.

 

I wish that art wasn't deemed as subjective in every manner by our hyper sensitive society.

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Granted. Nothing is art anymore and is instead about ethics in journalism.

 

I wish the word feminism was used properly by people.

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Granted. Nothing is art anymore and is instead about ethics in journalism.

 

I wish the word feminism was used properly by people.

 

It is, and then the world makes sense and is 10 times less hilarious.

 

I wish women wouldn't hide behind the word misogyny every time they don't like something men say.

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