"The Sidewalk is a hostile place for women"

[seanbrock 1,684]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/08/things-men-say-to-women-on-street-harassment_n_5659877.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000046

 

 

What does TGP think? Is it really such a horrible place for women? Are they REALLY second class citizens and us men are all pigs...well I know I am anyway.

[Cherry 1,302]

When you're walking down the street on the sidewalk in a major city you're passing a lot of fucking people. Chances are eventually you're going to run into one that makes a crude remark or comment. There's no need to paint the entirety of men in a bad light because of a few dickheads on the sidewalk saying, "I wanna fuck you."

[CampinWithaMissingPerson 2,025]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8uOErVShiE

 

whoops, forgot that french one had nudity.

Edited May 24, 2015 by CampinWithGoatSampson

[Bucman 891]

Wait telling someone to smile is a bad thing

? . Women throughly enough the attention they gey. Most of the cards weren't bad.

Edited May 24, 2015 by Bucman

[Sarge+ 3,436]

"Are you single?" wut... how is that harassment. lmao. A bit forward, sure... but come on...

[CampinWithaMissingPerson 2,025]

Yeah it does sound dumb. Although I've heard it from every girl I've ever known that they absolutely hate to be told to smile. So I mean, obviously they don't like it so I never did that shit It's a weird subject because there's legit times it happens and others where a guy means well but she overreacts so it's a never ending war.

[DonovanMcnabb for H.O.F 2,241]

When you're walking down the street on the sidewalk in a major city you're passing a lot of fucking people. Chances are eventually you're going to run into one that makes a crude remark or comment. There's no need to paint the entirety of men in a bad light because of a few dickheads on the sidewalk saying, "I wanna fuck you."

 

This is kinda spot on. Think it all depends on where you live. In Ann Arbor you'd never see something like this. But in Detroit I see it all the time, and I used to see this all the time in Pittsburgh.

 

I think the bigger issue, even more so then casually telling a girl she should smile is just that in general, anything past a hello, and how are you, to a lot of girls, they take to be more then just being friendly. My girl made me go to some women empowerment thing, and that's at least what I took from it. Simply put, anything you wouldn't say to a man you shouldn't say to a women.

[RazorStar 4,025]

Only about half of those are really crude and should never be said. That's people being jackasses though, and there are too many people in the world for all of them to have an upright moral standard.

[seanbrock 1,684]

Yeah I mean of course there are dudes who are going to say some out of line shit but if you're going to get bent out of shape anytime a guy says something to you or approaches you you might as well stay home. You can't control the actions of others let alone the words and thoughts of others. Even if you could if you want shit to change you need men on your side. Generalizing, stereotyping and demonizing 49% of the entire population isn't exactly endearing people to your cause. There are a lot of women who would laugh at this shit.

[blotsfan 2,112]

Obviously, I don't have much first hand experience, but I know that would get incredibly annoying. I think the point of this isn't that "men are awful" but "men don't realize that cat-calling is shitty." Which, judging by the general reaction here, seems accurate.

[RazorStar 4,025]

Some of these are just innocent comments, but when you get thirty or forty a day I guess it can be grating? 5 seems innocent enough, 12 could be construed as annoying but not outright rude and in certain contexts (not randomly on the street) it's not an insult, 15 is pretty forward, but in the right context it's not awful, and 21 seems innocent enough as well. Everything else is pretty vulgar and pretty much only worth saying in coitus or never at all.

[Sarge+ 3,436]

[Zack_of_Steel+ 3,014]

Obviously, I don't have much first hand experience, but I know that would get incredibly annoying. I think the point of this isn't that "men are awful" but "men don't realize that cat-calling is shitty." Which, judging by the general reaction here, seems accurate.

Nobody here has said that cat-calling isn't shitty. It's just that, as some of these cards show, sometimes women perceive innocuous-but-forward approaches as cat-calling.

 

Telling someone to smile is not cat-calling. I've been told to smile by plenty of women and I never once construed that as them trying to jump on my dick.

 

If someone said any of the real cat-calling, vulgar shit to someone and I was around, I'd come to the woman's defense, whether I knew her or not, and tell the dude to fuck off. But I'm not about to throw down over, "hey, are you single?"

[Sarge+ 3,436]

If the women in those pics had it their way, men would never say anything to them, ever. And deep down, that's probably not what they really want. And even if it was, that's nowhere near a realistic, rational thought.

 

Furthermore, at the end of the day, the human brain only craves these things: oxygen, food/water, sleep, and sex. We can't turn off biology. If someone's being a pig, then they deserve to be told to fuck off or whatever, but we're all guys here. We pursue women, even if it's just subconsciously eye-fucking them. With that in mind, many of the comments on these cards are indeed harmless.

 

I get the whole women empowerment/feminism thing (my recent ex was a hardcore feminist) but I think they are going too far with it, and they need to get over themselves.

[BwareDWare94 723]

The problem here is that cat-calling is part of a greater cultural phenomenon where women don't feel safe in the dating world and in public in general because random men make passes at them. It's a problem, even if some of these supposed "cat-calls" are nothing to be offended by in regard to the words themselves. The thing that worries women is that they have no clue who the man hitting on them is.

 

Now, I get it when it comes to making something of a pass thinking you're unlikely to run into the girl again, but there is a tactful way to do it and most men don't even bother with tact.

[Zack_of_Steel+ 3,014]

So, men are expected to make the first move, but if they're bad at it, even when well-intentioned, they're pigs?

[BwareDWare94 723]

So, men are expected to make the first move, but if they're bad at it, even when well-intentioned, they're pigs?

I didn't say I agree with it, just that it is what it is.

[RazorStar 4,025]

You have to be charming, or you're disgusting. There's a lot of awful stereotypes on both ends, and they are still perpetuated even both sides want the exact same thing. We want to be treated with respect. I'm sure you can think of dozens of examples where you're treated unfairly because you're a dude. Just like you, women can rattle off dozens of reasons when they have been treated unfairly just for being a chick. Whenever something is done that adheres to these issues, feminists have the argument that because the patriarchy is still alive and well in today's society, all men are responsible for the current issues plaguing women today. Which is unfair of course, because men are not allowed to turn that around and say all women are responsible for the current issues plaguing men today. Both of these arguments are incredibly abhorrent. It's clear where the divide is, the solution to fixing that divide is not so clear. It will not end until both sides stop seeing themselves as distinctly different. Men, women, transgender or other, we are all assholes, fucking deal with it.

[Cherry 1,302]

So, men are expected to make the first move, but if they're bad at it, even when well-intentioned, they're pigs?

This plays a big factor IMO. Men are supposed to be the one to make a move, but what way is there to really make a move on someone you don't know? I think there are obvious things that should not be said to a woman: "I wanna fuck you with this jackhammer."

 

I guess the best way would be to ask for a number. Show more interest personally than "smile".

 

 

Oh and care more than wanting to fuck. See: SeanPig no offense.

Edited May 24, 2015 by Chernobyl426

[Guest Phailadelphia]

The problem here is that cat-calling is part of a greater cultural phenomenon where women don't feel safe in the dating world and in public in general because random men make passes at them. It's a problem, even if some of these supposed "cat-calls" are nothing to be offended by in regard to the words themselves. The thing that worries women is that they have no clue who the man hitting on them is.

 

Now, I get it when it comes to making something of a pass thinking you're unlikely to run into the girl again, but there is a tactful way to do it and most men don't even bother with tact.

 

Agreed. And I think a lot of the commentary aimed at women through various media, be it movies, magazines, TV shows, etc. sort of perpetuates this idea that women exist to entertain men. Or that they are on a different social tier or something. For instance, I met my brother for dinner at Twin Peaks last night. Their beer sizes are "man size" or "woman size." That's a relatively minor incident, but IMO it's a microcosm of the greater issue of equating men as greater and women as lesser. So when you tell a stranger she should smile more, all she hears is "please amuse me by making yourself more attractive to me," which carries some not very nice implications.

 

Not that I agree with all of that, but it's my general understanding of the issue.

Edited May 24, 2015 by Phailadelphia

[Zack_of_Steel+ 3,014]

Agreed. And I think a lot of the commentary aimed at women through various media, be it movies, magazines, TV shows, etc. sort of perpetuates this idea that women exist to entertain men. Or that they are on a different social tier or something. For instance, I met my brother for dinner at Twin Peaks last night. Their beer sizes are "man size" or "woman size." That's a relatively minor incident, but IMO it's a microcosm of the greater issue of equating men as greater and women as lesser. So when you tell a stranger she should smile more, all she hears is "please amuse me by making yourself more attractive to me," which carries some not very nice implications.

 

Not that I agree with all of that, but it's my general understanding of the issue.

Or, men drink more than women?

 

People see what they want to see. Like how the Dr. Pepper "it's for men" commercials were SO FUCKING AWFUL DOWNTRODDEN WOMEN AHHHHHHH, but women have a billion commercials for shampoo and shit that would be just fine in a dude's hair.

Edited May 24, 2015 by Zack_of_Steel

[oochymp 2,393]

I've always been a bit annoyed with the idea that the determining factor for 'harassment' is 'unwanted,' that harassment is determined entirely by how a statement is received, not the intent of the person making the statement. That means I could say the exact same thing with the exact same tone and the exact same intent to two different women and depending on how they view me it's either flirting or harassment.

 

That said, there's a lot to be said for social awareness, nobody who's walking on the street wants to talk to people they don't know, much less flirt, they're just trying to get from point A to point B. Just because you would say something to a friend doesn't mean you can yell it at someone on the sidewalk. I think there's a lot of gray area with harassment and flirting, but yelling at random people on the sidewalk is not in it.

 

EDIT: you know how sometimes you have a thought and then through the process of articulating it you realize it's pretty bad? Yeah, I think that's what I'm realizing about this, I think there's a lot more truth to the second paragraph than the first, you should be able to read social cues and situations and know when to back off or when to just keep your damn mouth shut. Nobody likes to be stopped or yelled at while they're walking down the road unless their about to obliviously walk into a pothole, so just don't do it.

Edited May 26, 2015 by oochymp