Stupid shit you thought when you were a kid

[BC 331]

Think back to when you were a young, naive child, somewhere in the 8-12 range. You were old enough to start thinking macho and feeling invincible, but several years later in your high school years you found out that in reality, you didn't know shit. The more embarassing, the better.

 

I used to believe that a BJ involved urinating in a females mouth.

 

You're up.

[Duck Fallas 209]

I thought that I would hit a fucking growth spurt like my older brother (he grew 9 inches in one summer). Never happened, I went from 5'5 at 13 years old to 5'7...and never grew another inch.

[Sarge+ 3,436]

I thought God was real.

[Krawnka 282]

I thought my mother invented Mac N Cheese.

[Tridentdawgpound 1,043]

I thought my parents went on summer vacation too.

[SteVo+ 3,702]

Along the same lines as Sarge, I used to not believe in coincidences, thought everything happened for a reason and all that crap.

[Piggly Wiggly 960]

I thought God was real.

Same here.

[BwareDWare94 723]

I thought I was smart.

[RazorStar 4,025]

I thought people cared about my opinions.

[BwareDWare94 723]

I thought Bob Dole was only in Pepsi commercials...

[funnygunny 521]

Thought the floor was lava and navigated from room to room through the perfect execution of ninja jumps from chairs, beds, sofas and the ceiling.

[WindyCitySports 407]

I thought I was a detective.

[Barracuda 629]

I thought Dane Cook was funny.

(jk I don't think he was around when I was that young, so he was never funny.)

[Zack_of_Steel+ 3,014]

When I was like, 2, I was always confused as to how houses and light poles became shorter than the roof of our car when we were driving in it, but then shrunk down again once I got out.

[JetsFan4Life 542]

I used to think the moon was following me wherever I went and making faces at me.

[Phins4life 271]

I used to think that Noah put 2 of every species on earth into a boat, floated above the mountains for 40 days and nights, and then everyone got off and repopulated the earth without enduring the most drastic genetic bottleneck in world history. Aaaand then there's this problem......

 

 

[NaTaS+ 958]

I used to think girls peed out of their butts.

[RazorStar 4,025]

You mean they don't?!

[әightninә. 39]

I used to think I could fly. Jumped out a tree, and that ended really quickly.

[Duck Fallas 209]

I thought that atheists were all gay, rapists and Satan worshipers.

[Patriots2994 43]

I thought we should go to war in the Middle East right after 9/11. I pulled a complete 180 on that.

[themush 13]

Didn't think condoms were worth the $3.00. Ask my 24 year old kid if they are or not....

[Phins4life 271]

I thought we should go to war in the Middle East right after 9/11. I pulled a complete 180 on that.

 

I don't think there were many people who didn't want war right off the bat. It's a patriotic response...not stupid.

[badgers 380]

When I was like, 2, I was always confused as to how houses and light poles became shorter than the roof of our car when we were driving in it, but then shrunk down again once I got out.

 

Mine is semi-related...

 

When we would drive in the car, (at around age 3-4) I would always wonder why we were moving as fast as the sun/moon in the sky.

[RazorStar 4,025]

I got my first condom in a truck stop bathroom vending machine. Thought it was glow in the dark candy.