Should there be an age line drawn with dating?

[BwareDWare94 723]

So on another site I've been having a debate over what should or shouldn't be considered predatory when it comes to dating, and I've had one person just flip shit on me for suggesting that in a hypothetical scenario of a 35 year old man pursuing a 17 year old girl, it should be considered predatory most of, if not all of the time.

 

Now, I don't find age differences too worrisome when they're late 20s and on, but when age is separated by 15 or 20 years and it's a girl between 17 and early twenties, I find that it's remarkably predatory.

 

Anyway, as you can see I made a poll question based on the hypothetical 35 year old man and 17 year old girl scenario, and I want to get people's opinions on the matter.

Edited January 2, 2014 by BwareDWare94

[ATL_Predator+ 1,196]

Is it predatory if it's a 35 y/o woman and a 17 y/o man? JW

[Zack_of_Steel+ 3,014]

^Yes.

[BwareDWare94 723]

Absolutely, ATL. I only used the 35 year old man and 17 year old woman scenario because that was the scenario at the other site.

[Sarge+ 3,436]

I think if the older man really felt "love" or some type of actual connection for the girl beyond just a sexual nature, he could wait until she turns 18... So my answer is yes, it is definitely predatory otherwise.

[funnygunny 521]

if their age isn't on the clock, they're old enough for cock

[ATL_Predator+ 1,196]

if their age isn't on the clock, they're old enough for cock

old enough to pee...good enough for me

[RANGA+ 1,210]

If there's grass on the field, play ball

[GA_Eagle 595]

Old enough to crawl, in the right position.

[Favre4Ever+ 4,476]

Reminds me of Celine Dion a little. She met her eventual husband at age 12... he was 38 and her in to music becoming her manager. She began having romantic feelings for the guy.. Eventually started dating when she was 19 and he was 45... Been married nearly 20 years now. >_>

kinda creepy... But, I guess... it's worked out? lol

[GA_Eagle 595]

I dated a girl who was about 6 years younger than me. It lasted about a month before she drove me nuts with her made up drama. She was 19 and I was 25, and I thought going in that she was fun but I was mistaken. It was immaturity.

 

edit: basically I can't imagine dating someone so young again. especially since I'm 8 years older than I was then, so I don't get how someone older than me can date someone younger than her. Really the vise versa applies. Seems like a 35 year old would not be very appealing to someone just out of high school

Edited January 2, 2014 by GA_Eagle

[Thanatos 2,847]

No.

 

You obviously made your last answer sound like a pedophile, but you have to understand that you're putting an arbitrary age limit on something.

 

My great grandfather was 34 when he married my 16-year old great grandmother. I have never seen a happier marriage than theirs.

 

I have a friend of the family who is 60+ and he just married a 28-year old. It's up to the people involved what the age difference is and how much of an effect it has- assuming the younger one is of sound mind themselves. We tend to get up in arms about this, but a lot of our ancestors would be "predatory" by your definition.

Edited January 2, 2014 by Thanatos19

[Bucman 891]

Someone who is 17 is old enough to make decisions for themselves. If they wanna be with someone who is 35, fine let them. Just because society puts in your mind its morally wrong, doesn't mean it actually is. Honestly, I bet most people would feel the exact opposite if the situation was reversed. The girl would be a cougar and the guy would be praised for tapping it.

[ATL_Predator+ 1,196]

Someone who is 17 is old enough to make decisions for themselves. If they wanna be with someone who is 35, fine let them. Just because society puts in your mind its morally wrong, doesn't mean it actually is. Honestly, I bet most people would feel the exact opposite if the situation was reversed. The girl would be a cougar and the guy would be praised for tapping it.

The most logical thing you've said on this site.

[PackIsBack 124]

If the person is considered an adult by the law (17 or 18 depending on the state you live in), then I don't think it's predatory. Personally I think it's weird to date someone who could be old enough to be my parent but everyone's different.

[southgadawg 52]

First let me say that I am married to someone who is almost 13 years my junior. However when we started dating she was already 21. She also approached me first because at the time I certainly did NOT even consider dating someone that young because from most of my experience women that age were very immature and also more or less focused more on material things. I couldn't had been more wrong about the woman that became my wife though. She was definitely much more mature than some of the women that i had dated in their early and mid 30's and even one or two of the ones i had dated who were around 40. The circumstances of her life growing up and made her that way. I will say I am very blessed to have married her.

 

I also know a man who is married to a woman who is almost 17 years HIS senior. They are 53 and 69 now respectively. Her daughter gave her fits about it at the time but they have been married almost 30 years now so I would think it is safe to assume that love has conquered all.

 

IMHO if you are looking for a physical relationship then it is wrong to pursue that with someone who you are able to manipulate through your experience and their lack of it no matter the age. HOWEVER if a friendship turns into something more through time (and I am talking about true love here) then that is another story. I think each situation for the most part is different. It wasn't too many years ago folks that young teens were frequently married. In some cultures it wasn't too many years ago when most marriages were arranged. Also in some cultures the age was frequently 20 years different in marriages. If I am not mistaken the age difference between the Van Traps (the sound of music family) was 22 years.

[BwareDWare94 723]

Thanatos, I respect your POV but the few exceptions don't negate the rule. It is fucking predatory for a 35 year old individual to be pursuing a teenager, regardless of who initiated the courting, regardless of the circumstances. Your grandparents may be happy, but they were married in a completely different time. In today's highly predatory world, there should be no tolerance of much much older men or women pursuing minors. None, whatsoever.

[Zack_of_Steel+ 3,014]

Thanatos, I respect your POV but the few exceptions don't negate the rule. It is fucking predatory for a 35 year old individual to be pursuing a teenager, regardless of who initiated the courting, regardless of the circumstances. Your grandparents may be happy, but they were married in a completely different time. In today's highly predatory world, there should be no tolerance of much much older men or women pursuing minors. None, whatsoever.

Can't believe I'm taking Bware's stance over Thanatos's...

 

 

Being the age of consent/a legal adult does not make one an adult. It's predatory for someone to seek people that are less mature mentally, no matter the situation. Age differences mean a lot more the younger one is.

 

I'd say, in most cases, it's predatory for someone to date below their age range until the younger of the pair is ~25 years old. Yes, there are some 17-24 year olds that are wise beyond their years, but for the most part they're naive in regard to adult life. These people should be dating in their age range, and even then it gets dicey at times as the mental acuity varies so much at that age.

 

I was 20 when I started dating my girlfriend, who was 26. I was more of an adult than 95% of the people my age, so it's worked. A couple years prior and it would not have been the same case.

[seanbrock 1,684]

 

Thanatos, I respect your POV but the few exceptions don't negate the rule. It is fucking predatory for a 35 year old individual to be pursuing a teenager, regardless of who initiated the courting, regardless of the circumstances. Your grandparents may be happy, but they were married in a completely different time. In today's highly predatory world, there should be no tolerance of much much older men or women pursuing minors. None, whatsoever.

Can't believe I'm taking Bware's stance over Thanatos's...

 

 

Being the age of consent/a legal adult does not make one an adult. It's predatory for someone to seek people that are less mature mentally, no matter the situation. Age differences mean a lot more the younger one is.

 

I'd say, in most cases, it's predatory for someone to date below their age range until the younger of the pair is ~25 years old. Yes, there are some 17-24 year olds that are wise beyond their years, but for the most part they're naive in regard to adult life. These people should be dating in their age range, and even then it gets dicey at times as the mental acuity varies so much at that age.

 

I was 20 when I started dating my girlfriend, who was 26. I was more of an adult than 95% of the people my age, so it's worked. A couple years prior and it would not have been the same case.

 

Lack_of_Feel use to hate The Beatles. True story

[blotsfan 2,112]

I'd say the age of consent means that you're old enough to make your decisions. A relationship might be a bad idea, but that's your mistake to make. Im not sure what you mean by "predatory" but if you mean that it should be illegal, then I disagree.

[BwareDWare94 723]

I'd say the age of consent means that you're old enough to make your decisions. A relationship might be a bad idea, but that's your mistake to make. Im not sure what you mean by "predatory" but if you mean that it should be illegal, then I disagree.

 

Actually...I definitely think it should be illegal for an adult to pursue a minor if there's more than, say, more than 7 years difference in their age. A 16 year old should not be dating a 23 year old, so why should it be legal for a 35 year old to pursue a 17 year old?

[blotsfan 2,112]

The age of consent says that a 17 year old isn't a minor though (in most states).

[Duck Fallas 209]

While I would never like my daughters to date anyone twice their age, I have strongly mixed feelings about the term "predatory" simply because of one thing:

 

Attraction knows no boundaries. The law sets them, not nature.

 

I am a 35 year old man. I don't look my age. It is not by choice, but I get hit on by teenage girls more often than I would like. Is that my fault?

[Zack_of_Steel+ 3,014]

It's your fault if you decide to pursue them in any fashion.

 

Also, fuck what the law states. No matter what the age of consent is, it's morally wrong to seek people that are of lesser mental maturity. Allowing a governing body to dictate one's morals is an act of folly.

Edited January 9, 2014 by Zack_of_Steel

[Duck Fallas 209]

It's your fault if you decide to pursue them in any fashion.

 

Also, fuck what the law states. No matter what the age of consent is, it's morally wrong to seek people that are of lesser mental maturity. Allowing a governing body to dictate one's morals is an act of folly.

I would never pursue them in any way, just to be clear.

 

Pursuing someone because they are 17 or younger is morally wrong when you are in your 30's. But pursuing someone and then finding out they are 17 is a bit more of a gray area with me. As I said; attraction knows no boundaries.