Father Chooses Baby With Down Syndrome Over Wife

[BwareDWare94 723]

Dad Refuses to Give Up Newborn Son With Down Syndrome

Feb 5, 2015, 5:14 PM ET

By NICOLE PELLETIERE via GOOD MORNING AMERICA

Samuel Forrest refused to give up his son Leo.

Courtesy Samuel Forrest

When Samuel Forrest of Armenia heard a baby crying from outside his wife's hospital room, he knew his life would change forever.

Not only had he become a father, but he would soon receive some unexpected news about his newborn son.

"This pediatrician walks out of the room with a little bundle -- that was Leo," Forrest said. "She had his face covered up and hospital authorities wouldn't let me see him or my wife. When the doctor came out, he said 'there’s a real problem with your son.'

 

New #IMREADY Campaign Pushes for Child Models With Disabilities to be Featured in Media

 

 

Down Syndrome: A Year of Grief and Joy

 

Forrest followed doctors and nurses into a room where he'd finally get to meet his baby.

"When I walked into the room they all turned to me and said 'Leo has Down syndrome," he told ABC News. "I had a few moments of shock."

After the news had sunk in, Forrest held Leo for the very first time.

 

Courtesy Samuel Forrest

PHOTO: Samuel Forrest was approached by Armenian doctors with the option to give up his son.

 

"They took me in see him and I looked at this guy and I said, he's beautiful -- he's perfect and I'm absolutely keeping him."

Soon Forrest walked into his wife's hospital room with Leo in his arms.

Her reaction was unlike one he ever expected.

"I got the ultimatum right then," he said. "She told me if I kept him then we would get a divorce."

Attempts to reach the hospital for comment weren't immediately successful. The baby's mother, Ruzan Badalyan, told ABC News that she did have a child with Down syndrome and she has left her husband, who has the child, but she declined to elaborate.

Forrest, who's from Auckland, New Zealand, said he was completely unaware of the hospital practices in Armenia when it came to children.

"What happens when a baby like this is born here, they will tell you that you don’t have to keep them," he said. "My wife had already decided, so all of this was done behind my back."

 

Courtesy Samuel Forrest

PHOTO: Leo Forrest was born with Down Syndrome.

 

Despite his wife's warnings, Forrest said he never had a doubt in his mind that he would hold onto his son.

One week after his birth, Leo's mom filed for divorce.

"It's not what I want," Forrest said. "I didn’t even have a chance to speak with her in privately about it."

Forrest, who works as a freelance business contractor, has plans for he and Leo to move to his native country of New Zealand where he said they'll receive support from loved ones.

In the meantime, he's enlisted for some help on his GoFundMe page titled "Bring Leo Home."

"This really came out of the blue for me," he said. "I don’t have a lot, I have very little in fact. The goal is to raise enough for a year so I can get a part-time job so Leo doesn't have to be in daycare and I can help care for him. He's lost a lot in two weeks. It'd be different if he had his mommy."

Forrest has recently been working with disability awareness groups to share his story in the hopes that parents will become better educated on children with special needs.

"After what I've been through with Leo, I'm not going to sit back and watch babies be sent to orphanages," he said. "As a child with Down syndrome, that becomes somewhat of a label. If we can get around this label, we’ll see that they’re normal. They’re a little different from us, but they’re still normal.

"They all have niches and I want to work hard to find out where Leo's special. This little guy is great."

 

 

 

With all the "men are horrible/they cheat" propaganda out there, I love when something factual exposes that a woman can be a horrible person, too.

 

It's not about men vs. women. It's about our society understanding that horrible people come in both sexes.

 

I hope this woman who abandoned her husband and child falls on perpetual hard times, dies broke, and knows no happiness for the rest of her life.

Edited February 6, 2015 by BwareDWare94

[Favre4Ever+ 4,476]

365k dollars raised in a little over a week! Awesome to see the community rally around someone in need like this. I had to be crass and I am sure it would be different if it was my child.. But I have always wondered what I would do in a somewhat similar situation.... I really don't know. Bring brutally honest, I don't know if I could handle it. Props to this guy being a better person than I think I would be.

[BoneKrusher+ 1,276]

Great Man.

[RazorStar 4,025]

This brought a tear to my eye. People are horrible, how could you ever abandon something you created with your blood and sweat?

[oochymp 2,393]

 

I know it's not quite what this smiley was intended for, but it seems appropriate since I thought ancient Sparta was the last civilization that thought abandoning babies was a good idea

[Cherry 1,302]

I hope this woman who abandoned her husband and child falls on perpetual hard times, dies broke, and knows no happiness for the rest of her life.

 

Let's break it down

 

"Falls on perpetual hard times" - I wish this woman, that I do not know, will be in a consistent state of poverty and will struggle for the rest of her life financially without any hope of ever breaking that cycle.

 

"Dies broke" - I hope she will follow her life struggles by dying broke, and having absolutely nothing to her name as she perishes on the street.

 

"and knows no happiness for the rest of her life" - I hope she never has a single shred of happiness again in her entire life. For her entire life, she will be subject to only depression and misery. From now until she dies on the street, which could be 50 years or so, I hope she never again experiences joy from any event around her.

 

I can understand being upset with the decision, and it may hit even harder if you have someone in your family who has Down syndrome or some form of disease that makes it impossible for them to take care of themselves. Despite that, slinging around your "hopes" for a woman making what she considers a rational action is beyond extreme.

 

The woman may know that she is not able to take care of the child, and does not want to negatively impact the child. The woman may know that she would be basically giving up her normal life to raise this child, and take care of him even after he is fully grown. While taking care of a normal child is a commitment, the child is eventually capable of proper reasoning and development. Eventually they would live independently. A mentally handicapped child can not do this, and it's unfair to the mother to expect her to care for the child if she knows she is not capable.

 

The family must not have had much money, as the man had to raise money to attempt to get home to New Zealand after his wife left. If the woman already lives in a somewhat poor economic area, what makes you believe she is able to take of the child from a financial standpoint? A person with Down syndrome needs near 24/7 care and management to prevent them from doing something to harm themselves or others. If she is unable to work because she is taking care of him, and the father is unable to earn enough to support all three, they're fucked. That's not to mention the increased cost it takes to care for someone who has Down syndrome.

 

The father did a noble thing in deciding to take care of the child. The mother did something that is realistically an option for anyone who is in that situation. I am sure the father at least thought over the decision, as it would surely impact his life until the day he dies; that doesn't mean the mother should be criticized and hated for a rational choice in rough circumstances.

 

So to be quite honest, get off your high fucking horse.

Edited February 7, 2015 by Chernobyl426

[BwareDWare94 723]

 

Let's break it down

 

"Falls on perpetual hard times" - I wish this woman, that I do not know, will be in a consistent state of poverty and will struggle for the rest of her life financially without any hope of ever breaking that cycle.

 

"Dies broke" - I hope she will follow her life struggles by dying broke, and having absolutely nothing to her name as she perishes on the street.

 

"and knows no happiness for the rest of her life" - I hope she never has a single shred of happiness again in her entire life. For her entire life, she will be subject to only depression and misery. From now until she dies on the street, which could be 50 years or so, I hope she never again experiences joy from any event around her.

 

I can understand being upset with the decision, and it may hit even harder if you have someone in your family who has Down syndrome or some form of disease that makes it impossible for them to take care of themselves. Despite that, slinging around your "hopes" for a woman making what she considers a rational action is beyond extreme.

 

The woman may know that she is not able to take care of the child, and does not want to negatively impact the child. The woman may know that she would be basically giving up her normal life to raise this child, and take care of him even after he is fully grown. While taking care of a normal child is a commitment, the child is eventually capable of proper reasoning and development. Eventually they would live independently. A mentally handicapped child can not do this, and it's unfair to the mother to expect her to care for the child if she knows she is not capable.

 

The family must not have had much money, as the man had to raise money to attempt to get home to New Zealand after his wife left. If the woman already lives in a somewhat poor economic area, what makes you believe she is able to take of the child from a financial standpoint? A person with Down syndrome needs near 24/7 care and management to prevent them from doing something to harm themselves or others. If she is unable to work because she is taking care of him, and the father is unable to earn enough to support all three, they're fucked. That's not to mention the increased cost it takes to care for someone who has Down syndrome.

 

The father did a noble thing in deciding to take care of the child. The mother did something that is realistically an option for anyone who is in that situation. I am sure the father at least thought over the decision, as it would surely impact his life until the day he dies; that doesn't mean the mother should be criticized and hated for a rational choice in rough circumstances.

 

So to be quite honest, get off your high fucking horse.

 

Wait a tick, here, who's up on a high horse? Sounds to me like its you with your pages and pages long rant about "you don't know this person so how dare you wish harm on them" yadada yadada how dare I wish hardship upon another individual simply because she showed her true colors as an awful person?

 

She abandoned her child and husband because the child wasn't "ideal." She is a big old See You Next Tuesday (I would flat out say the word but I'm not positive that it's OK considering our new rules) and does not deserve an ounce of happiness for the rest of her life.

 

She's a horrible person and therefore doesn't deserve to be happy. This is pretty damn plain and simple.

 

I suggest you get off your high horse. You seem to come after me every time I state my opinion about someone who does something terrible. Get over it, bro.

Edited February 7, 2015 by BwareDWare94

[BucD+ 648]

 

Let's break it down

 

"Falls on perpetual hard times" - I wish this woman, that I do not know, will be in a consistent state of poverty and will struggle for the rest of her life financially without any hope of ever breaking that cycle.

 

"Dies broke" - I hope she will follow her life struggles by dying broke, and having absolutely nothing to her name as she perishes on the street.

 

"and knows no happiness for the rest of her life" - I hope she never has a single shred of happiness again in her entire life. For her entire life, she will be subject to only depression and misery. From now until she dies on the street, which could be 50 years or so, I hope she never again experiences joy from any event around her.

 

I can understand being upset with the decision, and it may hit even harder if you have someone in your family who has Down syndrome or some form of disease that makes it impossible for them to take care of themselves. Despite that, slinging around your "hopes" for a woman making what she considers a rational action is beyond extreme.

 

The woman may know that she is not able to take care of the child, and does not want to negatively impact the child. The woman may know that she would be basically giving up her normal life to raise this child, and take care of him even after he is fully grown. While taking care of a normal child is a commitment, the child is eventually capable of proper reasoning and development. Eventually they would live independently. A mentally handicapped child can not do this, and it's unfair to the mother to expect her to care for the child if she knows she is not capable.

 

The family must not have had much money, as the man had to raise money to attempt to get home to New Zealand after his wife left. If the woman already lives in a somewhat poor economic area, what makes you believe she is able to take of the child from a financial standpoint? A person with Down syndrome needs near 24/7 care and management to prevent them from doing something to harm themselves or others. If she is unable to work because she is taking care of him, and the father is unable to earn enough to support all three, they're fucked. That's not to mention the increased cost it takes to care for someone who has Down syndrome.

 

The father did a noble thing in deciding to take care of the child. The mother did something that is realistically an option for anyone who is in that situation. I am sure the father at least thought over the decision, as it would surely impact his life until the day he dies; that doesn't mean the mother should be criticized and hated for a rational choice in rough circumstances.

 

So to be quite honest, get off your high fucking horse.

 

[Bucman 891]

Cherry pls. She made the decision to have sex. Its not the childs fault he came out this way. The mother is a scumbag and should be stopped from having kids ever again.

[Cherry 1,302]

Summing up the exchange between myself and Bware on the chat because it provides some clarity to the situation.

 

The only problem I had with Bware's opinion was him wishing harm upon her for a decision that anyone in that situation has to consider. I agree, if she didn't want the child she shouldn't have spread her legs, but beyond that she may not be prepared to take care of him. I made a fool of myself with the high horse comment, and I apologize for coming off that way. I think Bware and I have a lot of shared opinions on this issue; but being so aggressive towards the mother and wishing death upon her is over-the-line, by my standards at least. I think the general tone set in the chat was that she shouldn't have had a kid if she wasn't financially stable enough or mentally stable enough to play the hand she was dealt. That said, the wishing death and shit pissed me off to the same extent that her actions pissed off Bware.

 

Bware, I'm sorry for taking a shot at you personally, it was uncalled for and made my opinion look incredibly hypocritical.

Edited February 7, 2015 by Chernobyl426

[BwareDWare94 723]

Props for the apology. FTR, I didn't wish death upon her. I said I hope she knows no happiness "until she's dead." Maybe there'd a typo or something.

[Glanvilles Grits 142]

What a dirtbag of a mom.

 

On the whole idea that was in the OP about how there are so many stories of bad dads and such, did you know that there are actually a larger percent of mothers in the United States (as of a 2013 research) that have given up on, abused, decided not to pay child support, gave up their rights as it relates to dads of the same stature.

 

I think it read something like 65-35, something along those lines, and I get it's all relative to how many individuals they actually took part in this. But, still none the less, it's just the point that fathers get a bad draw in it all, when majority of the time it's the other way around.

[Favre4Ever+ 4,476]

A woman accused by her husband of divorcing him and giving up their newborn son after learning he was born with Down syndrome called the decision the "hardest moment" of her life.

Ruzan Badalyan gave birth to Leo while in Armenia. Her husband, Samuel Forrest, told ABC News this week that she divorced him shortly after the boy's birth.

"I remember the sad faces of my relatives and the doctors and the diagnosis that sounded like a verdict: 'Your child was born with a Down syndrome.' One can never imagine my feelings at that moment," Badalyan wrote in a Facebook post. "Hardly had I recovered from the first shock, when the doctor approached me and told me to voice my decision whether I was going to keep Leo or not. I had to make the most ruthless decision in my life within several hours."

 

http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/woman-defends-husband-gave-newborn-syndrome/story?id=28798180&cid=fb_gma

Edited February 7, 2015 by Favre4Ever

[BwareDWare94 723]

All she's doing is making herself look like more of a cunt.

[Favre4Ever+ 4,476]

If you read the rest of her post, it gets worse. She refers to her son as 'the kid', which I thought was pretty awful.

[blotsfan 2,112]

I wouldn't want a kid with downs syndrome. All the work of raising a child, with none of the satisfaction that comes from raising a functional human being. Its impressive how much that man is willing to go through to raise him, but this talk of how the mom is a "cunt" who deserves to be poor and die is pretty awful. I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision for her to make, and getting the whole world to judge her for something I'm sure she's upset about is awful.

Edited February 7, 2015 by blotsfan

[Favre4Ever+ 4,476]

I wouldn't want a kid with downs syndrome. All the work of raising a child, with none of the satisfaction that comes from raising a functional human being. Its impressive how much that man is willing to go through to raise him, but this talk of how the mom is a "cunt" who deserves to be poor and die is pretty awful. I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision for her to make, and getting the whole world to judge her for something I'm sure she's upset about is awful.

Kind of what I was saying earlier. I know it sounds terrible, but I really don't think I could handle it. Ya know.. Of course once you become a parent, you will always be a parent -- no matter what. It doesn't matter how old your kid is or even if they tragically pass away at a young age or whatever... But the process is a circle...

 

Our parents have us, they nurture and raise us, we grow older and become parents ourselves, we nurture and raise our children, they grow older and move on with their lives.

 

A child with down syndrome... The rest of your life will be 100% dedicated to taking care of someone who can not take care of themselves. You will grow old and die doing that... helping your 50, 60 year old child get dressed, eat, etc etc. That just sounds... Torturous to me. There will never be that moment you get to walk your daughter down the aisle or help them move to college or cherish the children they end up having. There will never be another moment that you just get for you.

 

It's tough to say, and I know how selfish and disgusting it might sound... I very badly want to be a dad some day, but I just can't imagine how I would react if something like this were to happen to me.

Edited February 7, 2015 by Favre4Ever

[oochymp 2,393]

She refers to her son as 'the kid', which I thought was pretty awful.

detatched references like that are probably just a coping mechanism to deal with a really tough decision that she may spend the rest of her life second guessing

[BwareDWare94 723]

I wouldn't want a kid with downs syndrome. All the work of raising a child, with none of the satisfaction that comes from raising a functional human being. Its impressive how much that man is willing to go through to raise him, but this talk of how the mom is a "cunt" who deserves to be poor and die is pretty awful. I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision for her to make, and getting the whole world to judge her for something I'm sure she's upset about is awful.

 

It's a possibility if you plan on having kids. If you can't handle any possibility, don't have kids. Pretty fucking simple.

[BwareDWare94 723]

Also, under no circumstances is this woman not a cunt who deserves hardship because of her cowardice and selfishness.

 

This is a black and white scenario. She's a fucking awful human being.

[Zack_of_Steel+ 3,014]

The fact that she left her husband and gave him no choice in the matter is what puts me over the edge here. Cunt.

Edited February 7, 2015 by Zack_of_Steel

[blotsfan 2,112]

You guys really have no empathy.

[Zack_of_Steel+ 3,014]

You guys really have no empathy.

I have supreme empathy, actually. I was born with a cleft lip/palate and it's always made me aware of others' situations.

 

I also have a strong set of morals and in this instance, she crossed a line. Fuck her.

[oochymp 2,393]

The fact that she left her husband and gave him no choice in the matter is what puts me over the edge here. Cunt.

QFT, it'd be one thing if the parents came together and decided that they couldn't handle the financial and emotional strain, but the fact that she basically told her husband "I want no part of raising a disabled child and I want nothing to do with you if you think otherwise" is pretty fucked up, though you do have to wonder how they'd never discussed it, sure nobody wants to talk about depressing scenarios like this, but if you're planning on having a child with someone you should figure out if you're on the same page on how to deal with a worst case scenario

[Favre4Ever+ 4,476]

It doesn't really sound like much of a healthy marriage to begin with. I don't know what you can believe of what she says, for example, but communication is not a strength of either of theirs. It sounds like each of them made their decision separate of the other, without talking about it and just went different ways.

Doctors wanted an answer from her, she said give it up... Husband comes in later, says no way, I am taking the baby and leaving the country. It doesn't sound like she has a desire to be a mother to this child, and it doesn't sound like he much wants her to be (not that I blame him). That's about it. Sounds like they both get what they want.